[Ambra]

sorry for not being active at all on here lately. Going through a neverending tough time but if anyone feels like reading and expressing their opinion.. thanks. And sorry for the rant.
I had to go to a very scary place for me for emergency reasons and I've felt numb all the time. now, I should schedule the next session but I don't wanna go. I'm just ashamed and sick of my demons, I would really like to see her but just to be in my safe place and nothing else. That wouldn't be a great session as I'm stuck in my silence and I doubt I would have anything to say. I though about just saying I'm sick or away but once I cancelled last minute cause i was in hospital and she believed me and didn't charge me, I felt really cared for. So I really don't feel ok making up an excuse as I respect her a lot. Basically I don't wanna go to session as I'm suffering and I wanted to be honest about that. I have to call her, soon, as she is waiting for me to schedule. But I'm ashamed to contact T and talk about the reasons and have no idea what to tell her. It sucks.

[rockymtngal]

Can you email her what you've said here? I bet she would understand...

Sorry for the never ending tough time. I'm right there with you...

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[SnakeCharmer]

I'm sorry you're suffering so much. I do hope you go see your T though. When we're suffering and struggling so much is exactly the best time to reach out to someone who cares for us, who will help and support and advocate for us so we can begin the difficult process of getting out of our place of pain.

Sometimes it's easier not to budge, not to reach out, not to even say a word. But I know you don't want to stay in pain and suffering. Take care, Ambra. I wish you the best and hope you muster the courage to schedule and to go and share your suffering with someone who wants to help.

[stopdog]

I just tell the woman I am not coming and that is it. I don't feel a need to give reasons. If pressed, I would just say I was going to take a week or however long off and would contact the therapist to reschedule when I was ready.

Originally Posted by Ambra

sorry for not being active at all on here lately. Going through a neverending tough time but if anyone feels like reading and expressing their opinion.. thanks. And sorry for the rant.
I had to go to a very scary place for me for emergency reasons and I've felt numb all the time. now, I should schedule the next session but I don't wanna go. I'm just ashamed and sick of my demons, I would really like to see her but just to be in my safe place and nothing else. That wouldn't be a great session as I'm stuck in my silence and I doubt I would have anything to say. I though about just saying I'm sick or away but once I cancelled last minute cause i was in hospital and she believed me and didn't charge me, I felt really cared for. So I really don't feel ok making up an excuse as I respect her a lot. Basically I don't wanna go to session as I'm suffering and I wanted to be honest about that. I have to call her, soon, as she is waiting for me to schedule. But I'm ashamed to contact T and talk about the reasons and have no idea what to tell her. It sucks.

When I have felt terrible and felt that I couldn't go, I have always felt better for going.

[Ididitmyway]

Just say you need to take a break and that you will let her know when you are ready to continue. If she calls you back and presses for more details, you can tell that you need to process things on your own right now and when you need her help again you will call her and let her know. Thas should be enough for her to respect your choice and, at the same time, this would be an honest and a courteous way to assert your need for personal space. No further explanation is necessary, and if she insists on further explanation, I would consider seeing someone else because I am wary of therapists who don't respect client's choice to do the work at their own pace.

[JaneTennison1]

I vote for go. I went recently and told my T I just wanted to feel ok for an hour. She had no issues and was glad she could provide me with safety.

[Ambra]

Thank you for your responses!

I'm not thinking about taking a long break, I was just considering skipping the next session as it would be maybe too heavy and I have no words for that topic now. This situation brings back strong negative feelings and I might feel too awkward or ashamed for that now so I wanted to avoid a frustrating session (for both T and I).

She is not pressuring me, I just had to let her know the schedule - and I haven't found the courage yet. Ugh. I was more for telling her the problem, she really is worth the truth. But what do I say.. "Hi M, I wanted to tell you that I think it would be better to skip this session, because I feel so bad that I'm sure it would be a horrible, heavy, frustrating session. Sorry for sounding like an asshole but I wanted to be totally honest about the reason, which is, I feel bad and don't know what to do. What do you think? Thanks, A"
...this is more or less the best thing that came to my mind.

[Bill3]

Hi M, I wanted to tell you that I think it would be better to skip this session, because I feel so bad that I'm sure it would be a horrible, heavy, frustrating session. Sorry for sounding like an asshole but I wanted to be totally honest about the reason, which is,I feel bad and don't know what to do. What do you think? Thanks, A"

What if you take out the part I have bolded and otherwise send it as is?

[JaneTennison1]

Send what you wrote here. You're in charge of what happens.

[Ambra]

thanks. I texted T and she unexpectedly replied it would be important to go and work on that together, though I am free to think about it. I said thanks and I could go but I probably won't be able to disclose, if I go it will just to be there and feel a bit safer. So i feared wasting her time. On top of things a relative just died so now I think I could go. but I'm not sure if I can contact her again. anyway thanks..