[ThingWithFeathers]

I've been having a few problems regulating my drug and alcohol consumption lately. Last week, I nearly burned my house down because I was cooking when I passed out on the couch. I woke up about 5 hours later with the smoke alarm going off and my place filled with smoke. It was a really close call. My t said she was so glad I woke up before anything worse happened. This made me feel like she actually cared for my safety.

What does it mean for you when your t says they are glad about something you did or didn't do? What do you take from that kind of statement?

I felt really cared about, that it was important to my t that I was safe and well.

[Crazy Hitch]

I think you're right. Not only was your T glad you are safe and well but so are we.

That could have been a close call.

I'm glad it wasn't.

[LindaLu]

What makes that such good experience (at least from reading it) is that your T's message was one of relief, not critical of you. I felt accepted when my T expressed concern after something happened to me. Hopefully it's something we can learn for ourselves glad you're OK!

[brillskep]

I also usually feel cared for when my therapist is glad about something that went well for me. To me, his being glad means that he is emotionally involved with me and that helps me to trust him. But I'don't always want him to be glad. If I did something good for the wrong reasons, if I made a seemingly good decision but which I'm having second thoughts about, I wouldn't want my therapist to express gladness about that. I would feel disappointed and misunderstood in that case.

I'm looking forward to more answers about this. It's good to know how different people experience things.

I'm so glad you're okay too.
My t says she's glad all the time- it makes me feel like someone actually cares, that maybe I have worth. I know my self worth shouldn't really be dictated per se by my therapist, but right now she is the only person I care about and I trust her to tell the truth.

[ThingWithFeathers]

Originally Posted by LindaLu

What makes that such good experience (at least from reading it) is that your T's message was one of relief, not critical of you.

Yeah, I did sense her relief. That was the feeling I got from her. Unlike others in my life who sounded more judgmental than relieved - why did you leave the stove on, what were you doing, is the saucepan okay, is the cooktop okay etc.

[stopdog]

I don't know what a therapist would have to be glad or unglad about in relation to my choices. I would probaby not respond well. I know I would not feel cared about. I would probably feel suffocated and like the woman was thinking she is closer than she is or than I want her.

[ThingWithFeathers]

Originally Posted by stopdog

I would probably feel suffocated and like the woman was thinking she is closer than she is or than I want her.

Maybe this is why I liked it. I want to feel suffocated with care and closeness. I've never felt that before. I've felt suffocated, but not in a caring or close way.

[Bill3]

(((((ThingWithFeathers)))))

Hearing him say that actually kind of upsets me because I'm worried he will think that I'm "fixed" and terminate the therapy. I try to hide that emotion because I know it's odd, but lately (I got away with it for a year!) he confronts me about it.

[brillskep]

Originally Posted by ThingWithFeathers

Maybe this is why I liked it. I want to feel suffocated with care and closeness. I've never felt that before. I've felt suffocated, but not in a caring or close way.

I think it's different for every person. I have had situations in my life when I was suffocated, even with care, and I don't want that. I don't feel suffocated when my therapist says he's glad though. I think we each experience things in a different way.

I can imagine different reactions I might have. It would depend on the context, I think.

I'm very glad you are ok, TWF.

[ThingWithFeathers]

Originally Posted by brillskep

I think it's different for every person. I have had situations in my life when I was suffocated, even with care, and I don't want that. I don't feel suffocated when my therapist says he's glad though. I think we each experience things in a different way.

It is different for each person. I didn't feel suffocated with care by her saying that either. Just wouldn't mind if I did feel that way