[rainbow8]

I'm not missing a session because I see my T every 2 weeks but she's away on vacation for a week and it's always hard when she goes away. It's hard for me when anyone I care about goes away. I get scared something will happen to them. I just have to use my skills and have faith she will be okay. It's an ingrained pattern though. I feel unsettled because my T is away. I'm secure about her caring, but unsettled when she travels. Does anyone else feel this way when people, especially your T, goes out-of-town?

[justdesserts]

I've felt that way before--it used to be a HUGE source of anxiety for me whenever anyone I loved traveled or even went away from me for a short time. I didn't have a t when it was worst, but I know how scary it was for me and how much anxiety it caused me. I still worry when people I love travel, but the anxiety is not as bad--I wish I could tell you how I got better. Hugs to you. I hope you get some relief soon.

[junkDNA]

my T goes backpacking in the Colorado wilderness at least 1nce a year. it stresses me out bc i always think he's gonna get eaten by a bear. but it hasnt happened yet!

[ScarletPimpernel]

I struggle with this also.

Missing a session is the worst, but even if I see my T and Pdoc at normal intervals, it still causes me anxiety if I know they're out of town.

My Pdoc has decided that she just won't tell me if she's out of town.

My T, however, can't do that. If I have a crisis, I have to know if she has access to email/phone or not because contacting her is part of my crisis plan.

I haven't learned to cope with this real well yet. It's in the category of fear of abandonment or loss, so I figure it will get worked out when I figure out the others. For now, I just use my normal coping skills, re-read her emails, read her letter, and focus on all the ways she shows me she cares. I always survive, but it's not fun.

[musinglizzy]

It's always been hard for me, too. I have a session with my T tomorrow, then will miss three sessions with her. I didn't think it bothered me so much this time, but now that it's nearly here, it does. But I have enough emotional crap going on in my head lately I suppose that's why.

[IndestructibleGirl]

It's not quite the same but similar in a way - when I left the country a couple of months ago, I felt a real wrenching sensation at being so far, in terms of distance, from my therapist. It just didn't feel like a good idea to be so far away from her. I sat on the plane and texted her that it was making me feel unhappy and edgy, and then when I landed she had sent a lovely message back reassuring me she'd still be there when I got home, which helped. We texted throughout the week I was away here and there. So yes, I relate to the idea of milage between you and the T being stressful even when you're not missing a session, even though in my situation it was the other way round.

When is she back? Hope you can settle yourself soon.

[coolibrarian]

I get this way, too, even after many years with my T.

[rainbow8]

Originally Posted by justdesserts

I've felt that way before--it used to be a HUGE source of anxiety for me whenever anyone I loved traveled or even went away from me for a short time. I didn't have a t when it was worst, but I know how scary it was for me and how much anxiety it caused me. I still worry when people I love travel, but the anxiety is not as bad--I wish I could tell you how I got better. Hugs to you. I hope you get some relief soon.

Thanks, just desserts. It's gotten somewhat better through the years too, but I still worry. I have the same feelings when I travel also, but that's a little different. Breathing and meditation help but it's hard to stop my negative "what ifs".

Originally Posted by junkDNA

my T goes backpacking in the Colorado wilderness at least 1nce a year. it stresses me out bc i always think he's gonna get eaten by a bear. but it hasnt happened yet!

I'd worry about that too, junk DNA. I'm sure your T knows how to be safe in bear country,
though.

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

I struggle with this also.
Missing a session is the worst, but even if I see my T and Pdoc at normal intervals, it still causes me anxiety if I know they're out of town.

My Pdoc has decided that she just won't tell me if she's out of town.

My T, however, can't do that. If I have a crisis, I have to know if she has access to email/phone or not because contacting her is part of my crisis plan.

I haven't learned to cope with this real well yet. It's in the category of fear of abandonment or loss, so I figure it will get worked out when I figure out the others. For now, I just use my normal coping skills, re-read her emails, read her letter, and focus on all the ways she shows me she cares. I always survive, but it's not fun.

Thank you, Scarlet. It sounds like you have a good plan. It helps to know I'm not alone with these fears.

Originally Posted by musinglizzy

It's always been hard for me, too. I have a session with my T tomorrow, then will miss three sessions with her. I didn't think it bothered me so much this time, but now that it's nearly here, it does. But I have enough emotional crap going on in my head lately I suppose that's why.

I hope the 3 weeks goes quickly for you, musinglizzy.

Originally Posted by IndestructibleGirl

It's not quite the same but similar in a way - when I left the country a couple of months ago, I felt a real wrenching sensation at being so far, in terms of distance, from my therapist. It just didn't feel like a good idea to be so far away from her. I sat on the plane and texted her that it was making me feel unhappy and edgy, and then when I landed she had sent a lovely message back reassuring me she'd still be there when I got home, which helped. We texted throughout the week I was away here and there. So yes, I relate to the idea of milage between you and the T being stressful even when you're not missing a session, even though in my situation it was the other way round.

When is she back? Hope you can settle yourself soon.

Thanks for sharing how it is for you when you leave your t, I G. I'm glad your t texted you. T will be back home Monday. She wants to try staying off her phone so won't answer me if I write, until Sunday or Monday. My appointment is Tuesday. I guess I'm doing okay.

Originally Posted by coolibrarian

I get this way, too, even after many years with my T.

Thanks, coolibrarian. I've seen my T for 5 years and I worry more sometimes because I care more. It's hard.

Its a big worry for me too. I know its silly but i worry that she will be in a car crash, have a heart attack, get run over - basically die.. And leave me... Probably just attachment issues.

[rainbow8]

Originally Posted by 8888an8888

Its a big worry for me too. I know its silly but i worry that she will be in a car crash, have a heart attack, get run over - basically die.. And leave me... Probably just attachment issues.

That's exactly what I worry about!

[musinglizzy]

I have had that fear so many times in my life.... it just sucks to think that way. But life experiences and depression, I think, cause us to be wired differently. Like I said in my post, my T is leaving too, I have a session with her today, then skip three. Thankfully, I see her twice a week, she's only going to be gone.... I dunno....8 days... but although I was struggling just seeing her once, I think seeing her twice a week has only helped me to become more attached to her, and more quickly. I've been seeing her for almost 8 months, but it seems like a lifetime. Yes, I worry with trips (this is her third time leaving in the 8 months I've seen her), but I also worry about abandonment in other ways....simply just hearing "I can't help you..."

I hate thinking and feeling the way I do.... and it's helpful to have people here to understand. I'm so glad I found this board.