My relationship with my T is the most honest I have ever been. Is this what makes it? Baring your soul?

I always thought I was an honest person. Then I started therapy with current t, and realized that I didn't come close to even knowing the meaning of honesty before. I now have decided that honesty is more than just not telling lies.

[Crescent Moon]

Originally Posted by Brown Owl

My relationship with my T is the most honest I have ever been. Is this what makes it? Baring your soul?

I think it's when there is no judgment and genuine acceptance. When those things are there.. there's nothing to hide... no need to censure.

[ThisWayOut]

I think honesty is important in moving forward, but you can only be as honest with others as you are with yourself. I think there's a sense of honesty in baring your soul, but I think the trust needs to be there to have that honesty be helpful. It doesn't help anything if you bare your darkest secrets just to have them judged and bashed worse than anything you could do to yourself...
but I think I'm reading your question wrong.

[Restin]

For a long time, I used to believe that the Freudian rule "to say whatever comes to mind" was some kind of absolute law that everybody but me was doing. Now I realize that most people can't come near to doing that. But the T knows you're leaving out stuff, and then can tell what you're afraid to talk about.

Originally Posted by ThisWayOut

I think honesty is important in moving forward, but you can only be as honest with others as you are with yourself. I think there's a sense of honesty in baring your soul, but I think the trust needs to be there to have that honesty be helpful. It doesn't help anything if you bare your darkest secrets just to have them judged and bashed worse than anything you could do to yourself...
but I think I'm reading your question wrong.

Yes I wasn't thinking about being judged, I do feel a bit judged at times. I was more reflecting on what a unique relationship it is.

Honesty = being authentic?

I've noticed how therapy helps a lot with that...I feel more comfortable being myself. Less constricted and more spontaneous with others. Still have a ways to go yet, but I've noticed a difference.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I think there's a difference btwn being honest and being completely open. Leaving things out of a conversation doesn't mean you're being dishonest. My T knows when I'm leaving something out or when I dodge a topic. It's not me being dishonest, it me not being completely open. I agree with mian síoraí. I think honesty has a lot to do with being authentic.

Originally Posted by mian síoraí

Honesty = being authentic?

I've noticed how therapy helps a lot with that...I feel more comfortable being myself. Less constricted and more spontaneous with others. Still have a ways to go yet, but I've noticed a difference.

I feel this way too. Seeing you write that has helped me see it.

And you begin to realise that the same level of honesty is shocking to some other people in your life.

Originally Posted by _Mouse

And you begin to realise that the same level of honesty is shocking to some other people in your life.

Yes, an awful lot of people keep their thoughts to themselves, and only say a tiny bit of what they think. I generally really like people who speak their thoughts out loud.