Struggling with telling my therapist

dancersam23 · Jan 28, 2015 at 03:54 PM

Hello everyone

I've been struggling a lot with telling my therapist all my feelings. I don't know why but for some reason I just can't tell her the truth with out having overwhelming anxiety. I know I should tell her because then she can help me, but every time I have an appointment, I say to myself I'm fine and I shouldn't bother her with anything. I guess I'm just looking for help. I don't know how much longer I can go without saying anything, but I don't know how. Any suggestions?

sideblinded · Jan 28, 2015 at 11:19 PM

dancersam23

You have to start with baby steps. Start with something that is not too difficult. It is important to make sure that you have at least one thing to say that is bothering you only if it is a little thing. Then as time goes by you can build up to more distressing things. So have one thing that you have to say when you see her next appt. Best wishes and I hope that this helps.

SnakeCharmer · Jan 28, 2015 at 11:44 PM

As sideblinded said, it helps to start with baby steps. Would you be able to tell T you have lots to say eventually but it make you feel anxious so you want to go real slow. That's a start. Have to start somewhere. I wish you the best!

The_little_didgee · Jan 28, 2015 at 11:46 PM

I also recommend starting slowly. You can try writing a letter and handing it to your therapist. Poetry, painting and drawing are a few other options to consider. I've done all this and found it very helpful in reducing my anxiety. My therapist really liked it when I brought my art. It really helped us connect and I learned that she really loves art.

ThisWayOut · Jan 29, 2015 at 07:26 AM

I found that talking about the anxiety around something makes it easier to then get into the topic. Generally, t's have worked with me to find out what's causing the feelings around whatever is uncomfortable, and we find a way to make it more comfortable to talk about. When I first started with a therapist specifically for sexual assault, she knew it was there, but I couldn't talk about it. We spent a few sessions on what stopped me from being able to say things about it. I talked about the shame I held around it, and the fear of judgement. T was able to normalize some of that. It them became easier to be able to talk about the rest of it.
The other suggestions of telling t through other forms of communication, or starting with baby steps are also really good. I communicate a lot through writing or art (And much of my art utilizes song lyrics that explain my feelings). Hopefully, your t will be able to help you through the process of opening up, but you do have to clue her in to the fact that you are struggling with it...

evahis · Jan 29, 2015 at 09:32 AM

how about emailing her before the session to tell her that you struggle with anxiety and that you find it hard to talk about, but you would like to talk about it at the next session.
Then that eases you into talking about it.

evahis · Feb 01, 2015 at 04:31 AM

hope it went ok and you were able to bring it up with her?

LindaLu · Feb 01, 2015 at 06:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dancersam23

... I say to myself I'm fine and I shouldn't bother her with anything...

Is this the part holding you back? Because any decent T is absolutely looking to "be bothered." They view their jobs as helpers and problem solvers. Being bothered is what gets them up in the mornings. Weird, huh?

Would it help in session to 1) present a small situation where you got anxious recently, 2) say it affected me in X way, 3) say I know anxiety is not rational/not helpful/can be improved/something you must know about, etc.

Then you can start from a position of consumer who is self aware and seeks assistance from a coach or mentor or whatever is a safe-but-genuine way to think of your T.

You might be feeling some anxiety/intimidation from your T herself (?) which is not uncommon. It's a brave thing to even see a T. Good luck!

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Struggling with telling my therapist

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SnakeCharmer Grand Member Member Since May 2014 Location: United States Posts: 906 10 826 hugs given	Jan 28, 2015 at 11:44 PM #3 As sideblinded said, it helps to start with baby steps. Would you be able to tell T you have lots to say eventually but it make you feel anxious so you want to go real slow. That's a start. Have to start somewhere. I wish you the best!
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evahis Member Member Since Sep 2014 Location: UK Posts: 62 10 48 hugs given	Jan 29, 2015 at 09:32 AM #6 how about emailing her before the session to tell her that you struggle with anxiety and that you find it hard to talk about, but you would like to talk about it at the next session. Then that eases you into talking about it.
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evahis Member Member Since Sep 2014 Location: UK Posts: 62 10 48 hugs given	Feb 01, 2015 at 04:31 AM #7 hope it went ok and you were able to bring it up with her?
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