[Jordy]

I'm probably way overreacting but I feel like my T doesn't want to help me get my dream job and would rather have me work for her husband. I've applied at both places and she told me to let her know if I have a job interview so we can schedule a session to practice for it. This would be really helpful as my lack of self-esteem really shows in this kind of situations.

Well today I got a call from my dream job and I've got an interview for next Friday. So I texted T: Hi T, good news: I've good a job interview for dream job next friday at 2pm. Jordy

she gave me a one word response: Great!

I'm so confused: if she really meant it, why didn't she offer a session to practice, or at least stated she doesn't have any open spots. Or is this sarcasm as she doesn't really want me to work there? I can't imagine her being sarcastic like this, but I also don't understand why she didn't offer help with the job interview...

[IndestructibleGirl]

I very much doubt it's sarcasm. It sounds like a quick reply fired off when she was busy, but wanted to touch base with you because it was exciting news.

I think you need to state plainly that you would like to arrange a time for meeting and doing interview prep. Ask for what would be helpful.

The fact she offered in the past means that she is happy to help if she can, but probably doesn't want to force it on you by suggesting it again and organizing it.

Why is a therapist getting involved in your career choices?

Jordy, just be assertive and ask for what you need. It may have slipped her mind. She may simply be waiting for you to ask. I highly doubt she's being sarcastic or passive/aggressive.

Originally Posted by _Mouse

Why is a therapist getting involved in your career choices?

It doesn't sound like she is; it sounds like that is Jordy's perception (and I suspect she knows her own perception isn't reality).

[ThisWayOut]

Congrats on the interview! And good luck with it.
as for t, maybe you could simply ask her? She may have meant coming in for an extra session, or she could have meant using up a session with mock interviewing. Either way, just because she didn't mention it via text doesn't mean she doesn't necessarily want to help you.
I'm a bit behind though. When did you start working for her husband? There may be w conflict of interest that's becoming painfully obvious if it's a newer arrangement...

[Jordy]

Originally Posted by _Mouse

Why is a therapist getting involved in your career choices?

She's helping me find a new job, as that is what I really need at the moment to get better. The choice is up to me, but I feel like she believes the job with her husband would suit me better.

[Jordy]

Originally Posted by ThisWayOut

Congrats on the interview! And good luck with it.
as for t, maybe you could simply ask her? She may have meant coming in for an extra session, or she could have meant using up a session with mock interviewing. Either way, just because she didn't mention it via text doesn't mean she doesn't necessarily want to help you.
I'm a bit behind though. When did you start working for her husband? There may be w conflict of interest that's becoming painfully obvious if it's a newer arrangement...

I guess I really should ask her as I won't be seeing her before the interview. That's why to me it was so obvious I was asking for a session without asking.... but maybe I'm just expecting her to read my mind again and setting myself up for disappointment.

I haven't started working for her husband yet, but I've sent my resume in this week. I'm not totally comfortable with working with him, but she's worked so hard on convincing her husband that I could do a great job that I can't really decline. And to be hinest it would be a good position.

edit: I just texted T: Any chance we could meet before the interview? I need help preparing for it...

[Petra5ed]

I think she did her part when she offered a practice session and now you need to ask her for one. Try not to read so much into her not offering one again more likely she doesn't want to be pushy.

[Jordy]

Well I don't know what's going on with her answering my texts within a minute today.... but I've got a session tonight...

Thanks for convincing me to ask for it, though I feel a bit bad for making her work late.

[RedSun]

Would you still be able to see her as your t if you worked for her husband? It's often not allowed, a potential t and I ruled each other out cos our partners play football together twice a year!

[Jordy]

Apparently yes, even though I doubt I could still be as honest with her as I am now. To be honest that's why I don't really want to work for him, but currently finding a full time position is the only thing that can help, so I'll just do what it takes and deal with the consequences later.

[BlessedRhiannon]

I'm so glad you sent her a follow up text to ask for a session. I doubt she was being sarcastic with her first text - it was probably just a quick reply to let you know she got the message and was glad to hear the news. I've learned that with text and email, it is best to take the words at face value, as you can never really know what tone the sender intended. If you're not certain as to the tone, follow up and ask! It's much better to ask than to assume and get yourself upset over something that was never intended to be upsetting.

[InRealLife45]

Originally Posted by Jordy

I'm probably way overreacting but I feel like my T doesn't want to help me get my dream job and would rather have me work for her husband. I've applied at both places and she told me to let her know if I have a job interview so we can schedule a session to practice for it. This would be really helpful as my lack of self-esteem really shows in this kind of situations.

Well today I got a call from my dream job and I've got an interview for next Friday. So I texted T: Hi T, good news: I've good a job interview for dream job next friday at 2pm. Jordy

she gave me a one word response: Great!

...can you just text her and ask for an interview practice session?

[JustShakey]

Good luck with the interview Jordy!

[nicoleflynn]

It is unethical to work for your t; I am not sure about the rules for the t's husband.

[Jordy]

I guess I should learn to trust my T and keep my darn mouth shut!

I saw her tonight and she has helped me a lot. She tried role playing a job interview with me, but I totally froze and couldn't even say a word. So she broke it down and asked me to write down each potential question. We discussed a bit everything I could answer to those. Now my homework is to think some more about it, write down answers to each question and rehearse them.

She'll call me tomorrow or on Monday if she has a cancellation, otherwise I'll see her on Monday night after her usual hours. The plan is to role-play the interview then, videotape it and see what I can improve.

Still can't believe she's fine with working after hours twice within a week for me, especially as I'm not in any kind of crisis. I thanked her for that and all she answered was: If you finally get a new job we both will have done a great job!

So I guess she's more committed to me than I dare to believe...