Any ideas on how to let go of a past t (and a past job... and a past...) completely

It's time. I want to move on from this.I want to get better. I am sick of this running my life and taking up so much time and energy. I want a better life for myself. I want a chance at making the things I want (not things that are forced on me or taken away from me) happen.
I want to move past this - the loss of my ex t, loss of my job, the suicide attempts... I'm done going over it all. I just want to move on. I know I've done some bad things in life, and I've had some bad things happen. I've had some things happen to me that were cruel, abusive and unfair. But I still survived and I still believe I deserve a shot at having a good life and reaching a few of my hopes dreams and goals.

So how do you let it all go? How do you start over? How do you move on and move past everything?

"Getting Past Your Past"

Getting Past Your Past: Take Control of Your Life with Self-Help Techniques from EMDR Therapy: Francine Shapiro: 9781609619954: Amazon.com: Books

You can start with a book

Not to be rude, but you're asking us?

Yes, as those who have been in therapy I wondered if you had learned something I didn't know or hadn't thought of because my ideas are not or have not worked.

Oh. I'm still in the throes of it, but I will say I've been where you are in terms of wanting to get past it all. The only thing that has helped is finding the right therapist for me. I feel more forward movement. It's glacial, but it's there.

Getting over past therapist who moved and another that was more awful? Still trying to do that. This therapist is helping and is very supportive of processing all of it. That has been very helpful in letting go. It's just not overnight.

I think you're already doing the first step. You're sick of it and wanting to move on.

I think you have to forgive yourself and love yourself. Sounds cheesy. But you forgive yourself and you love yourself and you tap into some deep inner resolve and then, one step at a time, you move forward.

You go to work. You pay your bills. You save money. You meet people. You put yourself out there. You make an effort to smile. You make an effort to be kind.

You cut out people who drain you. You surround yourself with people who are healthy and who build you up.

You build up others, rather than cut them down. You ignore the pettiness, the shallowness.

You take up physical activity with regularity. You exercise. You eat well. You treat your body well.

And life happens. And some days suck. And other days, you see a sunset and you think, "I'm thankful for this life of mine. It's not perfect. I'm not perfect. But it's the only life I've got and I accept it with all its warts and hair, and I'll make the best of it."

I think that's the most that any of us can ask for. Especially those of us who were abused or suffered early on, or who don't have good families or riches to fall back on. But peace in one's life, in itself, is a really worthy goal.

I never think about the past but its the mind and body keep the score and it is has created a miserable existance.

lickety, I feel you on the glacial movement, but at least it is something. I am thankful for my new t, and although we had a rocky start (me not wanting to trust and then have to go through all this again someday), I am beginning to feel that forward movement, and like she is helping with this. She has also been supportive in helping process it all and let it go.

I can't tell you how much energy has been freed up, just today, just from posting this. I am looking forward to what I will be able to accomplish now that all my emotional energy is going forward again instead of looking back and wanting that which wasn't and will never be.

Thanks for your reply lickety- I wish you well in your therapy and on your journey as you make peace with your past also.

Thanks for your support Peejay. I read your other post about how you are healed from being abandoned by your t, and how it took you three years. Reading your reply and then going on to read your other post could not have come at a better time. Like it is fate or higher power telling me that this is possible. You are proof, you have been there and have let go, moved on and healed. I'm encouraged and inspired by you, and (can't think of the right word) proud (?) of you for your work you have put into healing yourself. It takes the support of many, but in the end, you heal yourself. Thanks for showing us it can be done and helping those who are on their way. I know it is a process and it may never be over, but it can and does get better. There are brighter days up ahead.

Moxie, this is so true. I don't know if hate is the right word, but it is truly difficult to go through life and have these automatic responses to things that we seem to have no control over because they are so deeply embedded in our brains and bodies. No amount of healing work takes away the memories, even if you forget, like you say - the body and mind remember.

I take it you are a reader since you recommended a book. Have you read "The Body Keeps Score"? http://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Sco...dy+keeps+score
It's definitely on my wishlist. Anyways, thanks for taking time to reply.