[White Dove]

I've been lurking for a while. Wanted to share my thoughts about the feelings I have for my T. I love her way of looking at life, I love talking to her. My mom coudn't love or care for me. I feel like my therapy is a repeat of this. I have no idea really of my T's stance on caring or love in therapy, but I see there is a real possibility of this relationship just repeating my relationship with my Mom. I love my mom but I am not loved back. I love my T too. If I had the courage I'd discuss this with my T.

[sideblinded]

White Dove, Hello and welcome to PC. There seems to be a lot of people having very intense and loving feelings for their therapist. Personally I have never had any for my T's. You are certainly not alone here. I am sorry that your mother wasn't able to love or care for you. That is very sad. I feel for you. This forum may be helpful as well.

Survivors of Abuse - Forums at Psych Central

The community liaisons and moderators are here for you should you have any questions about navigating this site. I wish you the very best here.

[x5darkangel452]

I worry about that too. My T talks about 'reparenting' in therapy a lot. My love for her is like that of towards a motherly figure. She knows how I feel about her. But it doesn't make it any less painful, when your full desires can't be met: she never has been and never will be my mother. She can never nurture and love me the way I needed my own mother to. So really, it's just a sad situation I think, because I wonder if all this longing for her to be my mother does me any good.

[musinglizzy]

My T and I are talking about love in therapy as I speak.... she believes therapy will not work without love. I don't want to believe it.

[White Dove]

Originally Posted by musinglizzy

My T and I are talking about love in therapy as I speak.... she believes therapy will not work without love. I don't want to believe it.

I kind of believe that too, but I wonder what my T thinks.

[Soccer mom]

I agree, WD, and just posted something similar. I plan to discuss it with my T. I keep telling her it's hard for me to feel close to her because I'm scared she'll hurt me, leave me, etc. She says my feelings will lessen/I'll be more comfortable with it with time.
I have been mad at my mom for her alcohol/prescription drug addiction before she died. Then, all my needs/longings that I had no idea about popped up in therapy and I had a whole new set of things to be mad about.
It took many months but my T. has told me that she cares about me, won't abandon me, won't let me push her away, etc. - opposite of my mom. And, her eye contact pierces my soul and feels so good and hard at the same time. I think part of the healing is telling them ALL of our feelings and having them react differently than our parents.
It's very difficult but I'm hoping it will get easier. I guess it's something to discuss with our T's.