I am made uneasy by accidental encounters with my T, outside of therapy.

Does anyone else experience this?

[musinglizzy]

I've only run into her in the parking lot. It wasn't a deal at all...just said hi. Earlier on, she talked about that, and said, like most, that if we ever ran into each other in public, I'd need to make the first move. Or ignore her, she's fine with it. I told her then that I was sure I'd say hello, and wouldn't think anything of it (as far as being uncomfortable). I still feel that way. Maybe that changes when you're actually in the moment...but I just don't see myself being uncomfortable by it. I've seen some who run into them at the grocery store or something, and avoid them at all costs. I'm quite sure I'd make a special trip to walk right up to her. Although, the chances of us running into each other outside of session are not very good. We're in different cities. I actually wouldn't mind running into her....

thank God it has never happened to me. i hope it doesn't. i would be so awkward.

[SoupDragon]

yes absolutely.

[ThisWayOut]

omg, yes! I wouldn't know what to say Luckily, I have only seen one of my T's out of the T setting... it was hugely awkward, and we didn't talk beyond saying hello. It was a small social gathering, and I left fairly quickly after that.

No. I am not sure why one would freak upon seeing another human being in public. I always have enjoyed seeing my t in public. Perhaps it is because my husband is a therapist so I just see all therapists as plain old people; perhaps it is because i have gone out in public with my t quite a few times, like to the grocery store/ shoe store/ pet store.

I've never seen her outside of session. I don't think I'd be uncomfortable, though!

[Chummy]

It has never happened to me.
I think if I would see my T outside of therapy, I would just say ''hi'' and then just continue with whatever I was doing.

If I saw T2 it would be no big deal and I'd just say hi. If I saw T1 I would try to act like it was no big deal and say hi, but I can imagine myself getting shakey and jittery and taking a while to regain my composure after he is gone.

[stopdog]

One of the reasons I choose straight therapists instead of lesbians is I am not likely to run into them in my real life. I am not certain I would recognize them but if I did, I would ignore them completely.

[Soccer mom]

I have several times - good ole small town. Two times I got very nervous and felt like I was fumbling around as to what to say. Other times I was totally fine and it wasn't a big deal. I think it depends on where I am in therapy. I actually run into her husband more than her.

OP here, I ask because I ran into my therapist today before and after session. It was awkward. We parked next to each other and I noticed her eating lunch in her car next to me. Then at the end of session she went to retrieve what was left of her lunch from her car, just as I went to my car. I felt like I was watching my secrets get food and prepare to drive off.

[sunfun]

No, I haven't ever saw my T outside of session, I honestly wouldn't mind seeing him, I'd just be so nervous that he didn't speak to me or it was so formal and awkward... in session, I feel like my T and I are really close, and I wouldn't want that "feeling" to disappear if I saw him in a regular setting where we are both ourselves. I think I'd be pretty upset.

[WrkNPrgress]

I told a versrion of this story in another thread. I once crossed paths with my T in a café. It was awkward, only because I felt awkward. I saw T there first (the part I didn't include in my other thread was that she was with her family and I was with my partner.) I had no intentions of bothering her but had plenty of time to think about what to do if we made eye contact. I thought- I'll just nod and smile.

I had gotten up to order at the counter and had to walk by her table a couple of times. I did not look down at her (again she was with her family and I had no intention of even interrupting that space). Next think I know, she was right after me in line. I felt like a kid who sees their school teacher out in the 'real world.' I said hello first. (I had to- she was right there.) She was perfectly cool and asked about my health etc., but I just chatted awkwardly while we waited. I could have cursed myself for being so awkward. Why can't I talk like a normal human being!

I told my partner after I got back to the table- so she could see who this person was. My partner said later T kinda looked over at us when she and her family got up to leave. I'm pretty sure both were just a bit curious to see what the other looks like, since they both hear about each other on a regular basis. lol.

We never spoke of it in session. I think I might like to someday, just to address the issue of my inability to speak to people in those kinds of situations. It's a loss, I think.

[JustShakey]

The one time I saw T outside of session I teased him for taking the elevator instead of the stairs (it's one flight for Christ's sake). I'm not sure it counts though, because it was right before my session.
I think I'd be alright if I met him in the 'real world' by himself, but I'd probably find it awkward as hell if he was with his family or anyone else really...

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Yes, it's strange because I'm used to having all my fantasys contained in the therapeutic space. Outside it feels like there's no order.

[Mike_J]

It has never happened to me, but I would love to bump into her at the grocery store or something like that. Wouldn't try to strike up a conversation or anything but would just smile and say a quick "hello"

Therapists are people too