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View Poll Results: Is there a difference with feeling safe inside yourself or with the therapist?
I feel safe only with therapist 6 13.95%
I feel safe only with therapist
6 13.95%
I feel safe only with therapist and/or others but not within myself 5 11.63%
I feel safe only with therapist and/or others but not within myself
5 11.63%
I feel safe within myself but not others including therapist 3 6.98%
I feel safe within myself but not others including therapist
3 6.98%
I feel safe within myself and with others but not the therapsit 2 4.65%
I feel safe within myself and with others but not the therapsit
2 4.65%
I am neither safe nor unsafe with the therapist 6 13.95%
I am neither safe nor unsafe with the therapist
6 13.95%
Not only is the therapist not safe, the very odea of safe and therapist going together in the same sentnece is incomprehensible 4 9.30%
Not only is the therapist not safe, the very odea of safe and therapist going together in the same sentnece is incomprehensible
4 9.30%
Other 17 39.53%
Other
17 39.53%
Voters: 43. You may not vote on this poll

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stopdog
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Default Mar 10, 2015 at 04:40 PM
  #1
Is there a difference with feeling safe inside yourself or with the therapist?.

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Default Mar 10, 2015 at 04:47 PM
  #2
I was just pondering the idea of feeling 'safe' in therapy; its something I have never achieved to the point where I feel I can just say whatever, and it will be OK. When I told T1 I didn't feel safe, I think he was at a loss to know how he could make me feel safer and couldn't understand it was nothing he was doing wrong or that he could do better. I haven't yet told T2 I don't feel safe in therapy with him, though I suspect he already knows it.
But you raise a good point: do I feel safe inside myself? No. And there are several subjects I am scared to raise to my own awareness. I just don't feel safe and I don't know where some of this will take me mentally. I don't think you can feel safe in therapy without feeling safe in yourself to some extent; for me, the two will have to grow together.
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Default Mar 10, 2015 at 04:51 PM
  #3
"safe" and "within myself" are not concepts that go together in the same sentence for me. I'm not being facetious - I don't understand what it means.

[edited to add: I do feel safe when I am alone - more than at any other time, including when I am in T's office. Is that what you mean?]
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Default Mar 10, 2015 at 04:57 PM
  #4
I generally feel safe wherever I am and whomever I am with now. It hasn't always been that way, but it is mostly true now.

I once was terrified no matter who I was with. Then I found safety in therapy. Eventually I finally could even trust myself. Took a long time to get there though. It isn't always 100%, but I have faith that even when I am not feeling safe, I have the resources now, internally and externally, to manage through until I feel secure again.
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catonyx
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Default Mar 10, 2015 at 04:58 PM
  #5
Deep. This requires a lot of thought. Hmm!

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Default Mar 10, 2015 at 05:01 PM
  #6
I do feel safe within myself. I know who I am and I like me. I would not want to be anyone but me
I do not feel safe with the therapist- particularly not the first one. It is more medium with the second. Others are iffy. When I know the situation or the type of role and where I fit, I am fine, but there are those where I am not safe at all if others are involved. And not because of the others hurting me, it is not that usually (it is that with the therapist)

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Default Mar 10, 2015 at 05:05 PM
  #7
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I do feel safe within myself. I know who I am and I like me. I would not want to be anyone but me.
Ah. Those things are not true for me. I don't know who I am and I don't like myself at all. I would be equally hopeless regardles of who I was, though.

I feel safe with my T, in the sense that I trust that he will a) keep my confidence, b) use his best judgment to help me, and c) be on my side. I also find his office a calming place in itself. I sometimes picture it when I'm feeling anxious - usually not with T in it, though.
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Default Mar 10, 2015 at 05:38 PM
  #8
I picked other. I feel safe within myself, I feel safe with the therapist, and I feel safe with certain other people as well. Like you, I like myself, trust myself, and feel safe by myself. That safety extends to the people I trust-- T, close friends, etc.
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Default Mar 10, 2015 at 05:47 PM
  #9
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Originally Posted by stopdog View Post
but there are those where I am not safe at all if others are involved. And not because of the others hurting me, it is not that usually (it is that with the therapist)
I cannot reconcile the idea of Stopdog paying to sit with a therapist weekly who hurts her. Or did I misunderstand something?

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Default Mar 10, 2015 at 05:55 PM
  #10
I picked "other." I'm not sure I know what safe feels like, but I do know that I feel comfortable with my therapist most of the time and mostly comfortable with myself when I'm working or asleep.
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Default Mar 10, 2015 at 06:03 PM
  #11
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Originally Posted by Crescent Moon View Post
I cannot reconcile the idea of Stopdog paying to sit with a therapist weekly who hurts her. Or did I misunderstand something?
The woman intentionally mocked me. I now make her not talk and I never play with her.

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Default Mar 10, 2015 at 06:11 PM
  #12
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The woman intentionally mocked me. I now make her not talk and I never play with her.
Mocking someone... especially therapist to client... is incredibly disrespectful. Was she remorseful at all?

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Default Mar 10, 2015 at 06:17 PM
  #13
No. She admitted it, but was without remorse. I finally got a half-hearted apology but only after quite sometime.
I did walk into the trap she laid. Now I am more viglilent and have gotten better at not doing so.

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Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
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Default Mar 10, 2015 at 06:24 PM
  #14
I'm not sure how to answer this. Not because I don't understand the question, but because I am in a very strange place right now... I'm not sure I feel safe at all... I don't trust myself to fly solo right now, that's for sure. I'm at a huge junction in my life and nothing feels safe. But maybe that's just life and the risks we have to take to live it...
Safe... Is there any such thing I wonder?

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Default Mar 10, 2015 at 06:25 PM
  #15
I chose "other." I feel safe within myself around 90% of the time. As I am working on trauma from the past, I sometimes struggle being in my own skin a bit, but generally I like being myself.

I feel very safe with my therapist, and there are a few people in my life-my parents and a few close friends who I feel extremely safe with.
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Default Mar 10, 2015 at 08:21 PM
  #16
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No. She admitted it, but was without remorse. I finally got a half-hearted apology but only after quite sometime.
I did walk into the trap she laid. Now I am more viglilent and have gotten better at not doing so.
You're more tolerant than I am, I guess. I wouldn't want to be in the same room with her.

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Default Mar 10, 2015 at 08:22 PM
  #17
I picked other. I do not feel safe. Period. Not with myself, not with others, not with T, not with an armored security truck and german shepherds and. . .well, you get the picture.

I know who I am, I don't like that person, I'm trying to turn that person into someone I can like and who does things that I admire. I can't relax my guard for a moment, or I'll slide further back into that person, and further away from the person I wish to be "when I grow up."

Physically I only feel safe with my children, although I manage to tame that fear most of the time in public. Mentally unsafe all the time.

Good question SD!
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Default Mar 10, 2015 at 08:51 PM
  #18
hmm... I had to read the responses before I totally understood (or think I understand) what you are asking.
Physically, I generally feel "safe" in that I don't care what happens to me or my body. Well, that's not totally accurate, but I pay very little attention to what happens to me. I grew up in chaos and continue to live in chaos to a degree, so I feel as safe as I can at the moment. There's not much that can physically be done to me that has not been done, or that I have not thought of doing myself.
Emotionally, I don't feel safe all that often, neither within myself nor anyone else. I tend to feel safer with certain people, but even that is not all the time. I had a few therapists I look back upon and realize I was safe in their presence and in communicating with them, but it often didn't feel safe at the time. Definitely don't feel that with current T, but 2, 4 & 18 T's ago I had that, so I know it's possible...

Oh, I generally dislike myself as a person (at least at the moment and in this physical area), and I dislike the path my life is taking. I'm working on changing both of those, though my life-path is the easier one to change, so that gets more effort. I end up spending a lot of time hating myself and fearing others feel the same way (though I would also understand if they did).
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Default Mar 10, 2015 at 09:03 PM
  #19
I voted other because sometimes I'm only safe inside myself, some times with the t and sometimes not at all

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Default Mar 10, 2015 at 09:58 PM
  #20
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Originally Posted by stopdog View Post
No. She admitted it, but was without remorse. I finally got a half-hearted apology but only after quite sometime.
I did walk into the trap she laid. Now I am more viglilent and have gotten better at not doing so.


Do you mind if I ask why you bother to see this person at all? You sound like you really dislike her, and for good reason!
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