[Ad Intra]

I've had problems with therapy, mainly the fact I've always terminated early. As a teen I saw a T but my dad took me out because he didn't like her. I was in therapy last year but my old-T quit.
Frankly if I saw a new T I would have a '**** you' attitude.

[guilloche]

It's really rough when you have had therapists quit on you, and been pulled out of therapy against your will. Of course it's going to be hard to trust someone new!

Do you know what you hope to get out of therapy this time around? Does focusing on that help any? Or... maybe you could be really upfront and blunt with new Ts on your first visit, and use this to weed them out? Like just tell them, "Look, I need and want therapy, but frankly, I've been burnt by a couple therapists and feel like it's going to be a rough road before I can start to trust you. How would you work with that?"

I am sort of thinking of my T, who has heard all my stories of T-abandonment. He's got a bit of a tough guy persona when you first meet him (which is really funny for a *T*), but honestly, he's also got this sense of *stability* - like a rock. I think that if you were upset and started cussing at him, or had an attitude, he'd be ok - he wouldn't take it personally, and he'd do his best to find a way to reach you and have an actual conversation, without blaming you or making you feel more awful.

I guess that's just to say, even if you have a **** you attitude, there are SOME Ts out there that will be OK, not take it personally, and be able to help anyway. I'm not sure how you find them though, other than talking to a bunch and weeding out the ones that can't deal with it.

Good luck... I hope you can find someone helpful!