[ThingWithFeathers]

Why do I send heavy emails where I open up to my t at the start of the weekend? I know my t can't respond to it before next week, but I do it anyway. Now I'm left feeling vulnerable and anxious. And, it'll last until I hear back from her.

I don't like this feeling. I'm glad I opened up (though I can't bring myself to read the email), but I also regret sending it. It's going to on my mind for at least the next 3 days. And, in the end, she may not even see it as important in the way I do, and might simply reply with a generic line or two. All that waiting - and for what ... a sentence? Oh boy, that's pretty pathetic.

At least I know I'll hold out until she replies, knowing I'll be hearing from her helps in getting through - even if it incredibly needy.

[gayleggg]

Yes, emails and text messages do sometimes lead to regret. Maybe you could write the emails and save them as a draft, then wait 24 hours before you send it. That way it would give you time to think about whether you want to send it or not.

[musinglizzy]

My T highly encourages Emails, because she knows I communicate best that way, although I'm fighting it myself. I find it too easy to Email things then regret saying some things later. I can, however, communicate with my T via Email or text over the weekend.... I'm just trying to choose not to. But I understand about writing heavy Emails, then waiting for a reply. I usually get one, but occasionally I don't.

[ThingWithFeathers]

Gayle, thank you. I did sleep on it and I guess I don't so much regret her know what I wrote, I just feel embarrassed that I sent it at all.

musinglizzy, my t also always responds. Sometimes at length, sometimes very briefly. She works for an organisation and they are not open weekends (except the crisis line). I can also relate to being better able to communicate through email.

I guess one thing I worry about is that I already feel differently compared with how I felt when I wrote the email, I'll definitely feel differently again by the time she replies.

Oh, well. It's the pain of waiting - which I think many people feel with their ts.

I do the same thing. Even now, in the midst of terminating. Probably especially now. i think I'm regressing a little as I go through this part of the process. I sent t a long email last night, explaining what I actually meant to say in my session yesterday evening, where I got the impression she heard something else. Now I feel all weird about it because I KNOW her, she won't respond, she'll let me (make me) sit with this until we talk again in 3 weeks. Which intellectually yeah is probably the right thing for her to do but... you're so right it's the pain of waiting.

[BlessedRhiannon]

I do the same thing - I think it's kind of like the "door-knob" revelations that happen in session - where you revel something big right as you're walking out the door. Sending a "loaded" email when you know T isn't going to respond for a few days kind of feels more safe because you'll have a few days to get used to the idea of being vulnerable about what you've revealed before your T sees it and can respond.

Unfortunately, my T has figured out that I tend to email my most loaded emails on Fridays, when she didn't used to check emails. Guess when she now checks emails...yup...Fridays! But, I've figured out that she doesn't always check emails from the weekend until late on Monday. So, if I need to have a few days to adjust to what I send her, I can send an email on Saturday or Sunday.

i understand you feeling embarrassed. you're not pathetic at all. writing emails expressing painful things is actually a very brave thing to do; you're putting yourself out there subject to scrutiny. I'm proud of you