[iheartjacques]

My t asked me again who was the dr I saw re my meds. I fudged it and gave him the name of another dr within the practice. Because I didn't want him talking to my gp and having me hospitalised.
He asked me if I really thought he would have me hospitalised. I said I don't know. Because I know a psychiatrist has that power and I had a bad experience years ago after a suicide attempt.
He said "we're on the same team" and it was about getting me better.
I said how everyone else I've seen has given me a direct number or email for emergencies. He said all contact was through reception. I said I emailed 4 times. He got 2. He said he was sorry, he doesn't check his emails everyday. I was like wow. After all the **** I cop at work for not checking emails everyday, and he doesn't.
So anyway I told him what I said.
He just said. Oh.
I was all over the shop.

[iheartjacques]

Then he gives me a piece of paper. It's got his number on him. For me only. For emergencies about my medication only. I was surprised. He said he thinks he knows what sort of person I am and that he can trust me.

[iheartjacques]

So was that his attempt at building trust?

[iheartjacques]

He asked me again re the gp. I said I'm sorry I can't say it. I can't trust anyone and I don't know how to fix it.

I think if you feel that you don't want to divulge your GP's name, then I think that's fine. He needs to prove himself to you. Why would you just trust him totally? If you were totally trusting of him, then you probably would have said who it was. Trust is a two way thing but, that trust has been broken for many of us, so go with your gut. When you are ready, you will share more. Take care & don't beat yourself up. Xxx

I think trust is probably a two way thing, the T needs to trust that the client is being honest about their thoughts, feelings and their actions. I don't know if that was your at building trust, perhaps your T decided to be flexible with you as he could see you needed it. Can uour T accept it if you don't give your GPs name?

I probably would have accepted less that desirable behaviour until I'd experienced very trustworthy behaviour.

[iheartjacques]

I'll probably eventually tell him when I'm not such a danger to myself. I can't decide what it is thar I having difficulty trusting, that he's a male (father and brother issues) or that he is a psychiatrist and does have the power to make those kind of decisions. Or both.

[guilloche]

Are you in the US? Even if your T knows your doc's name, in the US, they can't talk unless you sign something giving them permission. Of course, if your T is making this big of a fuss over knowing who your doc is, my guess is the next step is fussing over you signing the consent form.

Anyway, yeah sure, it's a 2-way street... except... as the client/patient, your privacy, trust, and sense of safety is important. Your T needs to understand that. Your T shouldn't badger you to share things that you're uncomfortable sharing... though T might explain *why* it's important to know.

Safety is already so hard, I would think bugging you to share that info would make it harder... thus harder to get treatment?

Originally Posted by iheartjacques

I'll probably eventually tell him when I'm not such a danger to myself. I can't decide what it is thar I having difficulty trusting, that he's a male (father and brother issues) or that he is a psychiatrist and does have the power to make those kind of decisions. Or both.

Your therapist is a psychiatrist? Just checking to see if I understand.

[BlessedRhiannon]

I do think trust is a two way street - the T has to trust the client to be as honest as they can and to show up and be willing to work. The client has to trust the T to be as honest as they can and to help guide them in this painful work of therapy. I also think that for some people, trust has to start with a leap of faith. The T may not have given you reasons TO trust them, but they haven't necessarily given you reasons NOT to trust them...in that case, you may have to just take a leap and decide "I'm going to trust this T provisionally, until they prove one way or the other that they can be trusted or not."

The therapist has to trust me to be honest. I have to trust the therapist with my secrets, and I have to trust her to trust me. If I didn't feel like the therapist trusted me, I wouldn't be able to trust her.

Yes, I think it's a two-way street.

[Partless]

In reality in normal relationships all trust is two-way but therapy is not a typical relationship. If you lie, the therapist doesn't get to lie as well. They have ethical codes. You have to be able to trust them, they don't have to be able to trust you. Why? Because they're not the ones sharing intimate details. You are.

[iheartjacques]

Originally Posted by jo_thorne

Your therapist is a psychiatrist? Just checking to see if I understand.

Yes he is a psychiatrist who does the talk therapy. He can only talk to my GP if I give the correct name and my permission. Which I didn't do.

[iheartjacques]

He didn't ask again after I said why I wouldn't tell him. But I did say I need a plan of action for next time I fall into that hole. So he gave me some names and numbers to call for help. His private phone number is the last resort. I probably won't use it. But knowing his boundaries, that shows he trusts I'm not going to abuse it. Really, I did already know it, I googled it. i know his personal email addresses etc but didn't use any of them because I respected his boundaries that all contact was through reception.

[iheartjacques]

After all, this therapy is about ME, not him. I'm not going to waste $200 per session to talk about him.

[thepeaceisinthegrey]

Yes, I certainly think trust has to be a two-way street in therapy. My T and I have a very trusting relationship and that's extremely important to me.

My T has asked to talk to my PCP before and I have always given her permission. She always asks me before she wants to call her and it's usually only about health related problems. My T did call my PCP once when I was very suicidal because she knows how close I am to my PCP and she wanted her to know so I had that extra support. So, communication between T and PCP is not always a bad thing.

I think it should be but wasn't for me. My T betrayed my trust. He literally turned against me for no reason. Very strange and unethical behavior for a T .

[feralkittymom]

I think trust is very much two way, but we don't trust each other in the same ways. The more I trust him, the more I make it possible for him to trust me. In turn, the more he can trust me, the stronger my trust in him grows. If I were unsafe, the more I could trust him, the more I could confide in him; that in turn allows him to trust me more. A T can't manage unknown risk. But then the onus is on the T to be willing to accept the known risk--and that means being available, being transparent, being willing.

Ts who tap dance when safety risks appear I don't think are being trustworthy--they're managing their own risk rather than the risk of the client.