dreamt of ex-T

When I was about 16 I had a great counselor at school and she helped me through rough times. Since then I would regularly dream about seeing her whenever I was going through a rough patch, this happened much less since I started seeing current T almost 4 years. Sometimes I dream about current T, sometimes about ex-T, but only when I'm really down like at the beginning of the year when I was feeling suicidal.

Last night it happened again: I dreamed I was back in high school but at my current age, and I saw ex-T on my way to my classroom, like I used to every morning. As we haven't seen each other in years we went to an empty classroom and started discussing stuff. I don't remember details, only that at one point she said she'd have to call current T as she didn't want to interfere in my treatment plan, and ex and current T discussed me and made plans for my therapy.

I woke up shortly afterwards, and hours later this still leaves me quite worried. These kind of dreams are always warning signs for me that I'm about to get worse again, that I need to ask for more support. But right now I'm doing as well as can be hoped in my situation, I have absolutely no urges to self-harm in any way, I'm really excited about my new job and can't wait to start... Of course live isn't perfect, but I haven't been this well in a long time. So why did I have this dream? what is my mind trying to warn me about? I really hope my brain messed up and it's just a glitch, but this never happened before and I can't shake the idea that something will happen soon.

I have recurring dreams about my ex-hs, where i get back together with them, then i realize why i divorced them, and i have to break up AGAIN. It usually means im not being honest about something irl or with t, like i am settling instead of speaking up about a problem. Maybe you are worried about your new job? Is your family hassling you about it?

worrying might control your thoughts throughout the day and make it hard to focus. May you could have the two talk and see what they think. Thinking about your new job and your future might also help you sleep better at night because your mind will be filled with positive things about your life instead of negativeness.

I worry a bit that I will struggle with the job, that I will let everyone down, but I know this is due to my BPD and remind myself that I can and want to do this. My co-worker seems really nice, and I'm sure after a few days I will love it.

My family is very supportive of this new job and really happy for me... so no that's not it either.

I've had no contact with ex-T in years, except for one closure e-mail in which I thanked for all she has done for me. So, no I don't think T needs to talk to ex-T.
I could call T, but honestly I don't see the point. I'm absolutely fine except that I had this one dream when I wasn't supposed to and I find this very weird. There's no point in blowing it out of proportion. To be honest, I think it's nothing major, but unusual enough that I had to get it off my chest in order to worry less about it.

I dream about PrevT often. For me, it usually means I miss her and it's time to get in touch with her again. I haven't dreamt of current T yet, that I can remember.

You might want to go by how you feel...you are doing well..excited about starting a new job and chapter in your life. Maybe a little of the anxiety and excitement about the new job is coming out in your dream?

I know I tend to over-think things. It's hard, but try not to read more into your dream than that.

When do you start the new job?

On occasion I dream about my first therapist. It is always some variation on I am looking for him but can't find him. It almost always means I'm not doing well and need to pay closer attention to what is going on with me. Usually I'm headed on a downslide.

I've been thinking about this some more and remembered that during my dream I was complaining about current T to ex-T and now this all makes sense:

So I start this new job on the 15th and T's husband is my new boss. She obviously knows I'll work for him, he knows I see his wife for some issues. But I have no idea what he exactly knows about me. But I wonder whether he knows about my BPD (my educated guess is he at least suspects it), my CSA (I don't think T would give any details), my family issues...and so on...
It's just weird knowing my boss lives with the person who knows me best in this world, or at least knows the most intimate details of my life.

I've also been wondering about potential situations like: what if I am depressed again and need some time off, but her husband his slammed with work and really needs me. Would she give me the sick leave or not?
Or if he needs to change my work hours and they conflict with therapy. Should I tell him I'm supposed to see his wife at that time? What is more important work or therapy? Could I ask him to bring me a refill prescription if I need to cancel a session due to his work?

I realize I'm probably worrying way too much, both he and his wife are experienced Pdocs and I suspect they have talked about this among themselves to some degree. I guess all this is more an maternal transference issue where I wonder whether I'm as important as her husband, whose side she would choose and so on.

At the end of the day all I can do is take a big leap of faith, truly believe that she has my best interests at heart and that her husband is a nice guy who cares about his staff.