[muse]

I NEED to talk to somebody, but I don't know how to find a good therapist in my area who will "click" with me or even have time for me, I'm not sure if I need a therapist or a psychologist or whatever, AND I have no idea how to tell my parents YET AGAIN that I kinda sorta might maybe need some slightly more urget help (I mean, I'm not having breakdowns or anything, but I'm snowballing and I want it to STOP before I lose all willingness to BE HELPED).

As a sixteen-year-old with parents who's reactions are huge triggers, this is a bit hard. How'd you all manage? Any suggestions?

thanks much, all,
~muse

[sunrise]

Muse, could you start at your school? I have a sixteen year old daughter and her high school has guidance counselors as well as a psychologist. These professionals would be a starting point. They would probably not provide therapy but would help assess your needs and refer you outside of the school to appropriate care. Hang in there. Good luck.

[muse]

I appreciate your kindness so much, but I really don't think that'd work. I have no idea where your daughter goes to school, but where I am guidance counselors are more superficial than anything. I don't know of a single one I'd trust with personal data, truthfully, especially not the woman to whom I am "assigned", and most of the students I've talked to feel the same. Granted, I may well be underestimating them, but... ugh. My school system's couselors are more for working out schedules and classes and such, not helping with emotional difficulties.

[sunrise]

Muse, my daughter goes to school in the U.S. Sorry for the confusion, but actually, I didn't mean to suggest you trust your guidance counselors necessarily with personal information or expect them to help you themselves with emotional difficulties, but rather use them as a point of entry into the mental health care system. You may perceive the counselors as having the job of helping with student schedules and future plans, but they, as well as the school psychologist, are also trained to refer students out for services to the agencies or organizations that can serve their needs. It's a starting point that might prove useful, and one that is readily accessible to you. Good luck!

i think sunrise's idea to speak to your school counselor is an excellent place to start.

here's a site that talks about therapy and the different kinds of therapies and therapists. it has a great question and answer section and many links to areas within the site to specific topics. i go there often and i like it very much: www.guidetopsychology.com

it sounds like it will be hard for you to tell your parents and you're worried about their recation. choose a calm time, keep it simple, and emphasize that you are taking responsibility for finding a way to feel better and that you appreciate their help.

as far as finding someone you can 'click' with, it is something you have to try out by going for a few sessions. in that initial bit of getting to know one another process you'll see how it goes, how you feel about the therapist, how you feel in the presence of the therapist.

it's okay to not be sure about needing therapy. it's okay to go and talk a few times and see what it's like and if you like the therapist and feel comfortable ( you can feel nervous and anxious and also feel that the therapist is trustworthy and kind, someone you could talk to). that you want to talk to someone is also your need to talk to someone and good to act on. maybe you have some thoughts about 'deserving' therapy?

the therapist will have time for you. she/he will be very glad to make time for you!

[Perna]

Muse, I had the same problem with the guidance counselor at my high school, because my official name is "Margaret" he decided my nickname was "Peggy" (go figure!) so he'd call me Peggy, which is not even close to my nickname. I'd have to "translate" when I'd see him looking at me as we passed in the hall or something and he'd say "hello" to "Peggy" and be sure to answer back.

How about other relatives besides your parents? Do you have an older sibling you can confide in who can break the news to your parents or an aunt/uncle, etc.?

I'd think up a "plan" do a little research on how you can find out the other info you would like to know (how about your family doctor/pediatrician, can you ask your Mom to take you to/see him? He can break it to her in a way she'd have to buy it?) and then work through your plan (pretend you're doing a project for school, the result being to get interviews with 2-3 different therapists, how would you organize it?).

You might read this stuff http://www.metanoia.org/ it's very good, solid info.

You could get in a conversation with your Mom about when she was a teenager, the problems she remembers having and how she solved/approached them and then break it to her that way, that you'd like to see someone professional to discuss some of yours?