[LadyGazelle]

*Trigger warning for Suicidal Thoughts*

Sadly the trigger warning will show where this ends up going but my therapist I was seeing for depression that I have only been seeing a year but the only T I've ever had a really good connection with decided to move jobs out of nowhere. I still have 2 weeks left with him but the announcement left me distraught that the session right after the announcement I ended up saying I was going to kill myself so I ended up in a crisis center but was discharged to a outpatient program I'm still currently in. The psychiatrist at this program up my meds to 20mg lexapro and 5mg abilify. My original dose was working I think without it I would have probably attempted I've been very upset and having problems reaching out to this group I'm in for this outpatient program not even sure if my insurance will extend my stay or not. I can't believe he is leaving and I haven't felt like living since, I mean I have no one to talk to about some of the things we did and it was hard to and now I have to start all over again with someone I don't know and doesn't know me? It's so disheartening to work so hard with someone and they just up and leave! I don't really come here much or share here but felt those here could understand where I'm coming from more than others I know. The mourning is so bad for me and I've dealt with so much personal loss in my life and I'm terrible socially so I have no support network outside of my husband. I'm seeing a friend soon and telling her about this hoping she will be supportive but I'm just so angry, sad and depressed. I'm scared of the new therapist he has in mind and I just don't know if I can take finding someone else and trying again only to lose them again and he often said he would always be there for me and now he is leaving. I'm so upset, scared and alone.

[sideblinded]

LadyGazelle

I am so sorry that your outside source of support is leaving. I am sure that this is upsetting and it will take a little bit for you to actually mourn him. I would not wait long to secure another one and it may take a few trials with new therapists to see if they are the right fit for you. It will take some time but know that it is very possible to find one as good or even better. Take care.

I'm so sorry

[JaneC]

I am so sorry

I know how hard this is, going through it myself right now. Please take good kind care of yourself. I hope your friend will be supportive and kind.

[iheartjacques]

I dread this happening. Most of them moved or changed jobs

[LadyGazelle]

Thank you for the kind words, I feel really alone in this. What's truly devastating to me about this is right before he announced it I had confessed I was attached to him and the therapy room was one of the few places I felt safe and now I won't have that anymore. I know I should go see another therapist but I keep thinking I want to just give up on therapy now because of this and this isn't the first therapist I lost(I had a therapist dump me). I just don't see the point opening up to someone to have to do all again with someone else especially when the one said they would never leave. I have been talking to the therapist at my outpatient program but it just seems strange when I open up there because the reactions I get are very different than my therapist, gosh I'm going to miss him I'm so dreading my last session with him.

[dancinglady]

Do you have to have a last session. My experience is that it is way too painful. Move in and leave him in the dust. That is what he is doing to you. What good reason would there be to see him one last time. With your reaction you could go off the deep end!!!!

[LadyGazelle]

Update:

My friend was extremely supportive and I reached out to my online friends, only a few responded but it's still more than I had before I asked for the support. My last session with my therapist is this week and my first session with new therapist is next week and my outpatient program I'm in I think ends this week also so a lot going on for me. My higher dose medications seem to be working for me but now I have to go to a doctor to get more which I hate doing but I need them so I guess I have to. I'm so not looking forward to this last session this week, I'm going to miss him so much.

[divine1966]

Hang in there I am so sorry

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Apathy123]

I'm so sorry, I'm actually going through the same thing as my therapist is graduating and leaving the program. It's so difficult to get a good connection with someone and then having them leave is just the pits.

do you have any plans for your last session?

[LadyGazelle]

I have nothing really 'planned' for my last session but I did ask for a hug to end the session, I was denied before but he seemed open to it for our last session, I hope he says yes to it, a hug would be nice closure.

Unfortunately or fortunately depending on how you look at it my session got pushed back a day so I see him thursday instead of tomorrow.

I ended my outpatient program today so tomorrow will be the first day I don't have some kind of therapy since I visited a crisis center but I think I'll be ok, trying to be open to change because I really just have no choice left. The meds are helping me manage but it certainly doesn't make this any easier. I do see my new therapist exactly a week later so there is that, I don't do well with 'recommended' therapists but she seems nice enough.

Thank you to all that responded it means a lot, I think this has been the most supportive place I've been besides my friend I talked too. The outpatient thing was nice but I don't think they understand like the people here do at how hard this is for me.