[HarrisonHarrison]

I've been seeing a Christian counselor at a ministry center for the last 3 months or thereabouts. Initially when I went to him I was angry and frustrated because I knew I needed to be medicated and was having trouble getting services. I hadn't started studying psychology heavily like I do now (I've read 3 psych books since Februrary, half way through a 4th) and was still unsure of what was really going on mentally. I am now medicated and know my diagnosis. However, I've been treating our last few sessioins like a game because it gives me pleasure. I've been withholding what I know, not sharing all my feelings. Last sesssion he said I fascinated him, which gave me a twisted pleasure and I want to make those feelings grow. But he asked me why I was seeing him last session or what I wanted out of therapy, making the game no fun. I read that when a patient becomes resistant to their therapist or psychiatrist progress typically starts to grind to a halt and progress stops. I am considering dropping out of these sessions. I don't want to be cured, if what mental health professionals are saying about the possible remission of my disorder after X amount of years or therapy and medication. I don't know...I don't see the point in continuing with it, especially if I'm resistant. I know what a therapist may try to use to get under my skin due to my extracirricular studies beyond my college education. I know the tricks...

[gayleggg]

It does sound like therapy may be counterproductive for you. I think until you decide that you want help and to be honest and forth coming in therapy that you would be better off saving your money and reading your books.

I'm not sure that you will get much out of therapy if you are not being truly honest. I don't know what psychology books you have been reading, I wonder if they are quite old texts? I think most Ts work with a genuineness and don't use tricks. I'm not too keen on diagnoses, I prefer to think of everyone as being unique individuals, I'm not keen on people being labelled, and I don't think the diagnostic system in DSM is really worth much, despite how much it is used. You are who you are.

[ThisWayOut]

I wonder if you are not starting to get close to something you would rather not touch at this time? clients can throw up a whole bunch of defenses when something freightening is on the horizon... your comment that the game was no fun after T asked what you are looking to get out of therapy strikes me more as a slight panic reaction as opposed to simply ****ing with your T for shits & giggles, but I could be wrong.

if you're considering leaving then it probably is the time to leave. how do you feel about termination?