[Soccer mom]

I'm realizing more and more that when I have a feeling about my T. that I don't understand, it might be coming from the kid inside me. My mom was emotionally distant so I didn't have the normal emotional responses to her.

Now that I have maternal transference, I find myself having all these weird feelings that my adult self says are ridiculous. My friends who support me keep saying it's how a child would feel about its mom.

If a friend of mine mentions seeing my T. out in public, I don't like it. I get a sinking feeling like disappointment. I know she runs with other people and has a small group of friends. She's not a recluse. I saw her car parked to run and wished I had never seen it. It's not that I want to be with her - maybe I don't want her with anyone else? Although her other clients don't bother me. I don't understand why I feel this way and would prefer not to. So, that makes me think it's the way a child would feel. But, I never remember not wanting to share my mom so it's like I can't relate to this. Any ideas?

Gosh this transference stuff is so strange.....

[healingme4me]

I don't know how I'd feel about a friend constantly telling me they've seen my T. And that must stink living in the same community. No words of advice.

[Ellahmae]

I could have written that post myself. However, I haven't figured it out yet and have no idea

[Myrto]

Originally Posted by Soccer mom

I'm realizing more and more that when I have a feeling about my T. that I don't understand, it might be coming from the kid inside me. My mom was emotionally distant so I didn't have the normal emotional responses to her.

Now that I have maternal transference, I find myself having all these weird feelings that my adult self says are ridiculous. My friends who support me keep saying it's how a child would feel about its mom.

If a friend of mine mentions seeing my T. out in public, I don't like it. I get a sinking feeling like disappointment. I know she runs with other people and has a small group of friends. She's not a recluse. I saw her car parked to run and wished I had never seen it. It's not that I want to be with her - maybe I don't want her with anyone else? Although her other clients don't bother me. I don't understand why I feel this way and would prefer not to. So, that makes me think it's the way a child would feel. But, I never remember not wanting to share my mom so it's like I can't relate to this. Any ideas?

Gosh this transference stuff is so strange.....

I don't have any bright theories, I just want to say that I feel the same way about my therapist.
I'm jealous of anybody I have to "share" my T with.
She loves her dog? I'm jealous of her dog. She seems very friendly with her neighbours? I'm jealous of the neighbours.
She has kids? I'm jealous of the kids (weirdly enough, I don't care much about her husband, don't know why).
Is it jealousy you feel ?

I feel horribly selfish for reacting that way: it's like if she isn't with me, then she shouldn't be with anybody else.
But like you, I don't remember ever being so possessive about my mom.

I did compete with my brother all through childhood and teenage years though so perhaps that's why? Did you have to compete for your parents' affection with a sibling?

My T definitely fills a maternalistic role for me. In a lot of ways, therapy is just set up like that. Labeling it transference doesn't do it justice. It's natural to gravitate towards someone that cares for us and listens to us. It's natural to be possessive over someone that makes us feel good, and get jealous over potential threats. It's natural to feel motherly feelings towards someone that does motherly things.

My feelings ebb and flow. There are times I get really upset thinking that my relationship with her is one of many on her side, and other times I'm really glad she can go off and torture someone else for a while! Sort of like our siblings that took the heat off of us growing up

[JustShakey]

I don't remember being possessive of my mom either but I see my daughter (she's 7) doing it with me. She'll hold onto my arm and say things like 'my mommy!' and get quite put out if I give attention to other kids. She also doesn't like it when I go places and do things without her - even if it's boring adult, not child friendly stuff. She knows that I go talk to T on Tuesdays and she's always asking if she can come with me

[unaluna]

My mother will try to flaunt in front of me that she has this special relationship with this or that niece or a nephew's wife, and i'm like, are you serious? Talking once or twice to someone youve ignored for 30 plus years isnt a relationship.