[Yearning0723]

I am really struggling with terminating with T. We've both agreed that it's the right thing to do, and she's been very kind to me about not rushing me out of her office or, in her words, "dropping me like a hot potato." Today was our third session after she told me we needed to terminate (just to rehash - because she didn't feel experienced enough to help me), and she said that we need to start moving down to once a week instead of twice a week, which I know in my head is the right thing to do, but I really don't think I'm ready. Last week we only had one appointment because she was sick, so it was a whole week before I had my session this week and I missed her SO much. This isn't a feeling I usually have, but for the past few weeks I have felt so clingy to her and I'm constantly making lists of things I want to tell her.

I've started seeing a new T, and even though we've only had two sessions, it feels like it could grow into something good...but I'm still not ready to give up my current T yet. I feel like I will eventually be ready for once a week sessions and then no sessions at all, probably as I get to know new T better, but right now I'm just not ready. I have a feeling current T won't push me, but at the same time I feel really confused about this, and confused that this attachment has hit me so hard out of nowhere.

Current T asked me today what would help make the termination process easier, and I thought a lot about it after our session and decided it might be helpful to book one session for a month or two after we terminate...I don't know if this is a thing she would even be allowed to do, or want to do, but I think the biggest problem I had terminating with former T is that after I stopped seeing her, I had so many thoughts and feelings and regrets that I just couldn't share with her, so I wasn't able to fully process everything, and I think it might not be possible to process everything until after I've gone awhile without seeing her. And it might just be helpful after I've gotten more comfortable with new T to see my current T and realize I'm okay without her, and just to share some final thoughts and hopefully tell her I'm doing okay. Is it okay for me to ask if we can have a session like this after termination?

[stopdog]

I see no reason why a client cannot ask for something like that. It does not mean the therapist will agree - but asking is not wrong as far I see.

[Bill3]

When ready you could go to every two weeks for a month and then a month later and then stop.

[Yearning0723]

Originally Posted by Bill3

When ready you could go to every two weeks for a month and then a month later and then stop.

I thought about asking for once every two weeks (and I might), but I think at the point at which I would be ready for once every two weeks, I probably would be ready for less than that too, and also, it might be pushing my luck. But I will give it some more thought, because it occurred to me pretty quickly too.

[Bill3]

Another idea instead of two weeks and then one month would be two consecutive one-month spacings.

Spacing appointments out is a known technique when ending therapy, I believe it is called fading.

[Ididitmyway]

Yes, it's ok. I hope she will agree to it and that it'll make your transition to the new T easier.

[Yearning0723]

Originally Posted by Bill3

Another idea instead of two weeks and then one month would be two consecutive one-month spacings.

Spacing appointments out is a known technique when ending therapy, I believe it is called fading.

That might be a good idea. I will ask T. I think she will be pretty patient with me...

I don't think there's any reason why you couldn't ask for whatever would be the most helpful to you. I wish you all the best with this!