[Leah123]

Hello all. It's been quite a while since I posted but I often wonder how people are doing down the road after I see them struggling so much in therapy here, so... thought I'd post a thread on my progress.

I was going to just write a follow up to this thread: http://forums.psychcentral.com/psych...t-anxiety.html, but thought everything warranted a new one.

I struggled for a long time with the expense of therapy, it felt worth spending huge sums on for a while, then not so much, as I realized the spending wasn't sustainable. I've been in therapy with her now for 27 months or so, and we now work at a flat monthly fee, less than 30% of what I originally spent thanks to cut backs, compromises, and eliminating the substantial agency fee.

I've had a hard time realigning my spending with my means, but am making significant strides.

I've nearly completed my long-deferred dream of earning a bachelor's degree. I complete my studies in 2 weeks, 3 days and 14 hours, haha.

I was offered and accepted a part time role in my new profession to help with the career transition, along with a prestigious role at my university which will also help.

I've significantly decreased my problem behaviors and made some solid progress with my daughter's problem behaviors. She's doing beautifully, not perfectly, in school, sports and with a little group of friends.

I think I've given up on perfectionism (mostly at least) and that makes life a lot easier, and enabled me to focus on the important stuff. My floors aren't mopped but I have time to cheer on my kiddo's team, take a nap, and just enjoy things a little more.

I'm still insanely busy, sleep deprived and stressed, however, the end is in sight. I just cut back a little at work, from 60 hours to 55, and graduating will free up time as well. After the summer break when my daughter will be home, I'll look forward to finding a full-time new job better aligned to my interests.

I was feeling miserable when I started writing, mostly exhaustion and some stress, but then I read my old threads, my unrealized goals, my struggles, and saw my progress and felt so much better, and proud.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?

Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.

It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

-Marianne Williamson (edited excerpt)

Congratulations on getting your degree. You sound so much more peaceful and like you've found some much-needed balance in your life. So happy to hear you are doing so well.

[Ambra]

wow Leah, it' so nice to hear from you again. I'm glad to read about your progress and your achievements. That's just great.. congratulations, keep going!

Just one question, IF you feel like answering: how did it feel to cut sessions?
Again, well done.

[Leah123]

Hi Ambra, nice to hear from you too! I've been looking out for familiar folks.

I struggled with cutting sessions. It was frustrating to know that while most do it in 50 minutes (with varied levels of success and frustration, haha), that I did wonderfully with multiple 70+ minute sessions in a week, up to 5-6 hours: Though it was draining emotionally and financially, it worked for me.

These days, we do two sessions a week, one about 60 minutes, the other about 30, and email. I also have the option to combine my 90 minutes into one session, but so far I favor the frequency over depth, though it's a close call.

It helps to know I have options and email, and she's let me add an extra session at difficult periods. Plus I don't have to stress about being billed in one-minute increments anymore (due to the service we used). And it's nice to.... experience that she's not a clock-watcher. I pay her a fair monthly rate and she seems comfortable with a 30 minute session being 40. Then for example, she's on vacation this week, so we won't have a late-week session at all, but I'm fine with that.

So glad to hear things are going well for you. When I posted about my troubles with my (now ex) T last autumn you posted some helpful words in reply. I like what you say in your signature, particularly the bit about playing small.

[Bill3]

Thanks for the update! So glad to hear!

Congratulations on your degree!

[stopdog]

Glad it is going well with you.

[Coco3]

I don't know you (except from your reactions to my topic), but I'm glad you're doing so well. It's nice that you've come back to give an update.

[Lauliza]

Great to hear from you and I'm so happy for you!

[unaluna]

This is so gratifying to hear. My fear (cant think of the word) is that we work and work and never get anywhere.

[JustShakey]

(((Leah)))
Good to hear from you! I'm glad you're doing well.

So good to hear from you Leah! Congrats on getting your degree and you do sound more balanced, more peaceful. Thanks for updating us! I don't know if you've seen my updates of late, but I recently wound up my own therapy. Well, except for one last in-person meeting, my t will be in town at the end of the month and we're planning to get together while she's here. I haven't seen her in 2.5 years!! I accomplished SO much with her during that time doing phone sessions only. I'm excited to see her and close out our relationship in person, the way it started. She is leaving the door open for me if I need a tune-up or something down the road, but for all intents and purposes I consider my therapy with her complete.