[kirby777]

Hi-

I am in the horrrifc process of finding a new T due to insurance changes. Since my "story" takes at least 2-3 sessions before any work can begin, i was thinking of going to a previous T. I called but did not make an appointment when she called back.....the reason was on on more than one occasion, she had her lunch during our session. It was soup & crackers. I have an issue w/ smells. But that was not what offended me the most...I am/my insurance is paying her to concentrate on me for those 45 minutes (she will rarely go over)...concentrate on ME. I understand in some busy practices a person/T may not get time for lunch...She has her own private practice.

Would this bother you?

As I type this I am realizing no other T did this...and I have had MANY over the years.

Thanks.

[PinkFlamingo99]

My pdoc always ends up eating when I see her (I'm usually the first appt and she usually has coffee and a bagel or something) and it doesn't bother me, but I don't pay her. If I was paying someone it might bug me more. Plus soup seems more obnoxious.

[Chummy]

This would deffinitely bother me. A T should not have her lunch during your session. Doesn't matter if she is busy or has her own private practice. It's her own responsibility to plan her lunch in her time schedule. During your session she should concentrate on you, and she should not do anything else.

If you think she's a good T for you, then I suggest you talk to her about this. If not, then look for a better T.

Now and then, and after asking if it would be okay with me, it probaby wouldn't bother me. Eating without asking if I minded would not sit as well, but so long as I felt the focus was still there, I probably still wouldn't mind that much, but I'm used to eating and working at the same time pretty much all the time, so I know that if I can concentrate and eat, other people probably can also.

That said, if it bothered you, you certainly would have been perfectly within your right to ask her not to eat during your session.

My appointments are always at the end of the day, and on occasion my T would have a snack while we talked (he always offered to share). It didn't bother me. It wasn't a constant thing or in any way distracting to either of us.

[Whiteroses02]

Not sure if you this could apply to your T, but my T in the last few months started having snacks like a yogurt or fruit during our sessions. Initially I thought she was doing some sort of exposure therapy because I have such issues eating in front of people, but she recently just told me she was 5 months pregnant and then referred back to the times she was snacking in session and that was why. She always asked if I minded or if it offended me before she did though. Maybe there your T is pregnant or has some other health concern that she needs to eat for?

[SoupDragon]

It would bother me a lot, but I do have some food issues.

[secretgalaxy]

My previous T almost always asked if I want something to drink and sometimes asked if I wanted a snack. I usually say no to the drink, and she would then ask if it was okay if she got one herself. She would lightly and jokingly plead with me to have a snack though, and I usually always say yes because I love food, lol. Only once or twice has she eaten in front of me without me joining in, but always asked before doing it.

I would personally be bothered if she did it all the time and didn't ask me. I would either get a different session time or tell her. Especially soup... ugh... the slurping and dripping from the spoon and watching her eat. I hate slurpy sounding foods, if that makes sense. Crackers are okay though. I am really sensitive to noises when people eat.

I hope you find something that works for you!

[laxer12]

It would bother me if my T ate during a session, regardless of if she offered food to me or not. I am self-conscious enough already, I don't need her being distracted by anything. Thankfully my T is awesome at being attentive and not giving me any reason to doubt that she isn't interested or isn't paying attention to to me.

She occasionally asks me if I want water but it is only on days where she also has a bottle in the room. I figure it's common courtesy if she is going to be drinking it in front of me. However, I always decline

[Ididitmyway]

Yes, it would bother me. You are absolutely right. In the 45-50 min of face-to-face time with you she is supposed to focus exclusively on you and what you are telling her. She should have her lunch outside of sessions time. Whether she has the time to do it or not should not be your problem. It's her responsiblity to manage her schedule in such way that her lunch or other personal things are separated from her work. I haven't heard of a therapist in private practice being so busy that they don't have time for lunch. 20 clients is considered a full time practice and that is only 20 hrs a WEEK. Even if some therapists see more than 20 clients it can never get to more than 40 if they are only in private practice. 40 hrs per week is a regular working day, so yeah they all have time for lunch. It's very disrespectful to have lunch in front of a client.

[Jordy]

My T sometimes eats at the beginning of sessions, if she hasn't had lunch yet. I'm fine with it as it usually takes 10 minutes max and as I only see her monthly now we use this time to catch up and start really working when she's done.
I think one of the reasons I don't mind is because she's really lax on session length and will see me as long as I need it and will go over time if needed. So basically I feel like we're chit chatting while she eats instead of her eating alone and me being in the waiting room. It's not really using up session time.

[msxyz]

I'm fine with my therapist drinking, but eating would not be OK with me at all.

[mira belle]

My t drinks coke...while v r in session...it doesnt bother me when he reaches for the can while I am talking...I just look away...ya I look stupid looking and talking g to a wall...but its for few seconds...

[BudFox]

Anything other than a basic beverage would bother me for sure. Soup, my god that's totally inappropriate.

What next, BBQ ribs...

[doyoutrustme]

That's rude to do without asking.

[Myrto]

That would bother me. Your therapist should not be eating in front of you, whether you are the one paying her or your insurance is.

I see my T at 8am before going to work and very often her stomach grumbles (as does mine ) because she clearly didn't have time for breakfast.
Once I even told her that she could eat something because the noises coming from her stomach were quite strong but she refused saying it would be unprofessional and I agree.

[Coco3]

It would bother me and I wouldn't accept it. Like others said, you expect your T to be fully concentrated on you. Eating distracts, so that's a no go. It would also distract me if T was eating. Drinking is ok.

[Partless]

Only if she slurps.

[iGottaBme]

I don't want my doctor, lawyer, plumber , accountant, or t eating
lunch on my time. It is not the eating thing as much as it is a professional issue for me. Professionals manage their time and space.

It personaly would not bother me.
T and I have had many sessions over hamburgers, pizza, cake, things like that. We are used to eating in front of each other. I know she is still paying attention

Originally Posted by BudFox

What next, BBQ ribs...

As long as he shares! Yummy!

[eeyorestail]

It would bother me. Drinking is fine. But eating something involved like soup seems unprofessional.

[scorpiosis37]

It would bother me as well. If she's othwrwsie a good T, I suggest talking to her about this and seeing if she will agree not to eat during your sessions. You could also ale sure to avoid sessions around lunchtime!

[divine1966]

I have issue with other people's food smell. If I am at a restaurant and also eating I can handle it but if I am elsewhere and people eat? Gross. I could see if she eats for medical reason but even then she should ask!

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[JaneTennison1]

I get low blood sugar and so have to eat a range of snacks. I have no issue if she needed a snack but soup? blah, the smell and noise would be so distracting.

[junkDNA]

my T eats sometimes and i dont care. its not like hes not paying attention to me