[Ambra]

What is it? We all know more or less. But do you think it occurs in every therapeutic relationship to some extent, or there can be one without that (and without transference)?
I always get new insights from PC, so I was thinking about some later behavious of my T.. saying "me too!" and finally telling me something about her or repeating she is not leaving me or a loooot of questions about a T I interviewed once and then controlling herself to not look unsettled. Or saying "I'm happy you didn't dump me" when I didn't show up by mistake. The therapy setting remains and we are working well, ethics etc. always respected, but at times it's like she feels free to speak frankly and losen her boundaries a bit now. I love it as I feel more at ease and makes her more real to me.
But I was wondering if that is a sign of countertransference or if it's not, what that might mean. Hoping it's not burnout.

[granite1]

i don't think my T has any problems with countertrasference. at least not with me anyway

[BayBrony]

Originally Posted by Ambra

What is it? We all know more or less. But do you think it occurs in every therapeutic relationship to some extent, or there can be one without that (and without transference)?
I always get new insights from PC, so I was thinking about some later behavious of my T.. saying "me too!" and finally telling me something about her or repeating she is not leaving me or a loooot of questions about a T I interviewed once and then controlling herself to not look unsettled. Or saying "I'm happy you didn't dump me" when I didn't show up by mistake. The therapy setting remains and we are working well, ethics etc. always respected, but at times it's like she feels free to speak frankly and losen her boundaries a bit now. I love it as I feel more at ease and makes her more real to me.
But I was wondering if that is a sign of countertransference or if it's not, what that might mean. Hoping it's not burnout.

I think it's just being a real person. My T has confessed to thinking " J, don't f×÷= this up!" To herself since my case is one of the most intense of her career. She is a person who has fears and insecurities. I think they TRY to keep them out of the therapy room but they sometimes bleed in...aand it doesn't necessarily mean counter transference is at work

[eskielover]

I know now that it's nice to have a T who I can relate to as a REAL person who I can sit down & talk through difficult things with & get real feedback.....a REAL DISCUSSION. She was also my DBT group leader to for several years while I was seeing another T who retired last December. They are all so much better than the other T I had in Calif where all I did was sit there & talk without getting any feedback or ideas on how to handle things or the how do you think would be the best way to handle something then talk through it....that never happened, so there was never a 2 way conversation before though he was a nice person......everyone in my previous life was nice but they were all dysfunctional also.....it's no nice to feel like I have REAL functional people around me now to communicate with.....makes me realize that I wasn't the one who had the problems before either.

I just get a real person who has also gone through her own traumatic experiences in life.....it just feels comfortable in a very functional sort of way.

I think all relationships, including therapy relationships have transference/countertransference, and most of it is in the course of just interacting with another and goes unnoticed. Your therapist is just doing what to me what looks very natural. Burnout, does not come to mind at all. Would you be willing to have the discussion with her about what you are seeing in her, and how it affects you? I hope you can take in what she has to offer, ambra. Good luck!

[LindaLu]

It might not be countertransference, but genuine mutual comfort. Or if your T was formerly awkward, maybe that was CT. Could you let her know that you've noticed new ease in the sessions, say that you appreciate it, and ask what she thinks has changed? Ts do burn out, but it seems from others' experience on PC they express that with snippy or hostile remarks to clients.

[Ambra]

Thanks for the replies, my T has always been genuine and there have been a few misunderstandings but we've always sorted it out. she's always been a sort of blank slate though and hardly disclosed anything if not once and for therapeutic reasons. Now she is doing it more often and disclosed something she would suffer about etc, which i didn't expect at all. Or comments about that other T that implied she was definitely not happy and when I said the session was a disaster she really looked relieved and said "Ambra, you know I'm never abandoning you but we will only terminate by mutual agreement right?" and then said sorry for judging the other T. I thought T's shouldn't promise to never abandon a client. She did and she's always kept the promise and remarks it at times. But I fear this disclosures will make me think she truly enjoys me as a person while I have to keep in mind I'm a client.
She confessed the other day she grew with me in a sense as I was one of her first clients and the first one to disclose such history. I didn't know it as she handled me so well. So that's why I was wondering about all these changes. Anyway I love it in general, she is being real and it might help me not idealize her. I might bring this up, just to say how I appreciate it, hoping she doesn't get defensive.