[Eleny]

Do you ever feel this way? I was posting on a separate thread and mentioned I'm nervous about asking my therapist if I can leave. One of the posters asked why I would feel this way when it's my therapy and it got me thinking.

I get so scared at the thought of leaving therapy and feel pressure to stay when I don't necessarily want to or can no longer afford to. If I say I want to leave due to financial issues she goes very silent and looks annoyed. I wonder if this is because she knows it's in my best interests to stay, or if its something else?

Either way I do feel intimidated by her. Even though she can be very empathetic, warm and insightful she does have an intimidating side which makes me uncomfortable. Does anyone else have experience of this?

I'm thinking of trying a new therapist but I'm scared I won't find another one like her. Then again I don't know if it's normal to feel you can't tell your therapist you want to leave.

[PinkFlamingo99]

Has she offered to lower her fee or anything to make it more feasible for you? Or refer you to a lower cost therapist?

[missbella]

Ohhhhh yes. I went through hell trying to leave, and it wasn't something I simply imagined. The co-therapists used outright intimidation and manipulation. And prior to my actually departure and was going to quit out of temporarily tightening my budget. The female co-therapist SCREAMED at me "You're picking up your toys and going home, and that's JUST what you do in relationships." She had no clue what I did in relationships, actually.

Mind you, I was a conscientious debt-free, substance-free woman with a job, house, and never a danger to myself or others. There was absolutely no justification for this coercion beyond the co-therapists' vanity and income stream.

Originally Posted by Eleny

If I say I want to leave due to financial issues she goes very silent and looks annoyed. I wonder if this is because she knows it's in my best interests to stay, or if its something else?

Either way I do feel intimidated by her. Even though she can be very empathetic, warm and insightful she does have an intimidating side which makes me uncomfortable. Does anyone else have experience of this?

I'm thinking of trying a new therapist but I'm scared I won't find another one like her. Then again I don't know if it's normal to feel you can't tell your therapist you want to leave.

I've never felt a therapist had a hold over me, but I certainly can understand that feeling. I suspect it might be similar to have overbearing parents making decisions in your head, or refusing to allow you to make the decision, because, you are afraid to disappoint them. Good luck in what ever decision you make.

[missbella]

And they also can be overbearing, scornful, bullying and coercive in actuality.

[stopdog]

I have not. I had one who told me I could not just quit and I said watch me and walked out never to return. I never regretted it.

[JaneTennison1]

I have. It triggers feelings that if I don't what is wanted from me there will be consequences. But this is a different situation and you hold the cards.

I also wonder if you have asked if the perceived annoyance is accurate or a projection from elsewhere.

She goes quite and looks annoyed. Have you asked if her silence is angry? Have you asked if she's annoyed?
It could be she's thinking how she could help you?