[Cinnamon_Stick]

I am wondering if therapy is worth it. Why get attached to someone who won't always be there? Why tell someone all of your issues just to have them eventually end therapy? I love my t and she is awesome but I am wondering if this whole therapy thing is really worth it. Therapy get will come to an end some day so why start in the first place? I am really depressed and not sure want I should do. I do like going to my sessions and she has helped but I guess I want to save myself the pain of it ending.

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

Everything ends and changes, people pass away, they change, they move house, they grow up or grow old. This is the way it is. You have to make the best of what you have while you can.

Sometimes things change for the better. You may have to change T one day, and then find you have a better one. Who can say? No one knows the future.

Ts by definition are temporary - you will benefit from therapy we hope, and one day will be able to manage your depression without help. That seems to me to be a terrific thing to aim for, although as you can see from the posts here the way can be difficult and long.

I don't know if my therapy will be effective in the long run. It helps already, but so do my meds. It is a journey that may take a long time to reach the end or it may not ever finish or it may be over sooner than I think. I cannot know for sure, but what other choice do I have?

Hopefully it comes to an end because we have managed to work through our issues and can now manage without a therapist. That's how it was for me and others I know. So, yes, it is very much worth it. And ending when you are at that point really isn't painful.

My T always said the goal here is that you won't need therapy. It isn't meant to be forever. I'm so glad I went through the journey and had a therapist and pdoc whose goal was to get me to that place of healing and independence.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I agree with the other two.

Even after being abandoned by my T, I realize that I did need her while she was there. She did help me, a lot. I'm not at the point where I can accept the good and the bad of that relationship, but I do acknowledge that there were good times and good aspects.

The purpose of therapy is to not need therapy. It's the same with taking medication for type 2 diabetes. You're not meant to be on the medication for life. The medication is meant to help you while you learn better eating and exercise habits. Therapy is there to teach you healthy cognitive and coping habits and support until you can do it on your own. It's like having a one-on-one teacher you connect with, but the goal is to graduate.

[AllHeart]

I think the idea here is to teach you to heal and grow enough to where you won't actually need (or even want) your therapist anymore. It's a unique process--one that requires a lot of trust.

In my experience, it has been SO very worth it. It is hard work yes, and I tried to quit several times before I was really ready to, luckily I had a good t who was able to help me see that I was not ready yet those times.... looking back all the tears, the heartache, the moments of joy, the many aHA's!, every single one of the therapy hangovers.... it was all worth it in the end. I saw t today in person because she's in town right now on business (first time I'd seen her in 2.5 years since she moved out of state and we did all phone sessions during that time) our last appointment was a month ago, so today we just spent some time talking, catching up, sharing stories, I gave her a 'thank you' poem I'd written for her, we hugged goodbye, and I left. Yes, therapy is SO very worth it all, in my humble opinion!!

IMHO therapy is about learning how to function without needing therapy. So hopefully u r the one who ends therapy cuz u can function without the baggage from the past dragging u under water.

For some it is worth it and for some it isn't. It is a chance you take.

For me it wasn't. I would really love to have all the time and money back that I wasted on a phony damaging relationship. I wish I had been smarter and quit before I got so hurt.

I can only speak for myself. This last therapy go-round that I had was definitely worth it. It saved my life, and finally gave me a life worth living.

Originally Posted by Cinnamon_Stick

I am wondering if therapy is worth it. Why get attached to someone who won't always be there? Why tell someone all of your issues just to have them eventually end therapy? I love my t and she is awesome but I am wondering if this whole therapy thing is really worth it. Therapy get will come to an end some day so why start in the first place? I am really depressed and not sure want I should do. I do like going to my sessions and she has helped but I guess I want to save myself the pain of it ending.

But therapy isn't just about going than ending. Thers a while lot of processing that goes on too. That's what makes it worth while

[Perna]

Originally Posted by Cinnamon_Stick

I do like going to my sessions and she has helped but I guess I want to save myself the pain of it ending.

How can you save yourself the pain of it ending if you have already begun?

I found the ending was not like I imagined it would be when I was in the middle of therapy. By the end, one is interested in it ending too, not having the weekly commitment, or moving to a different therapist that can continue the work or whatever.

I thought of therapy as a life "class" with a really good teacher I liked. That helped me some with the goodbye at the end (my therapist and I were both retiring and moving).

Originally Posted by Perna

How can you save yourself the pain of it ending if you have already begun?

I found the ending was not like I imagined it would be when I was in the middle of therapy. By the end, one is interested in it ending too, not having the weekly commitment, or moving to a different therapist that can continue the work or whatever.

I thought of therapy as a life "class" with a really good teacher I liked. That helped me some with the goodbye at the end (my therapist and I were both retiring and moving).

This is very true in my experience. When you get through that process, it really does feel right to move on. I was very ready to be done with it, not because I hated it, but because it was just no longer that vital for me and I was ready to use that time and money in new ways. I felt completely secure when it was time to move on to the next stage in life.

Originally Posted by lolagrace

This is very true in my experience. When you get through that process, it really does feel right to move on. I was very ready to be done with it, not because I hated it, but because it was just no longer that vital for me and I was ready to use that time and money in new ways. I felt completely secure when it was time to move on to the next stage in life.

Yes, this exactly. I feared it for a long time, too. But that was because I wasn't ready yet. I echo the "it really does feel right to move on". And, it's also freeing in a way to know that, I have gotten to know myself well enough that I will recognize if/when I need help in the future and will be able to ask for it without having to let things get to a crisis point if that makes sense.

[Coco3]

One day you'll know you're ready to move on from therapy. Then you won't feel the same about ending as you do now. You look back and you see what therapy has brought you, how much you've changed, how it was all worth it.

You'll be strong enough to cope with ending and moving on. It'll probably hurt, but it's a bittersweet kind of pain. You'll miss your T, but you'll also be very thankful.

[Cinnamon_Stick]

Thank you for all of the replys everyone!

[msxyz]

Find a therapist who will see you for as long as you want to.

[Madison_Simone18]

It's different for every person, but in my personal opinion, i think that Therapy is worth it because Therapy is a place where you talk about whats going on in your life and how you feel and in some cases talking about whats going on , helps. To me Therapy helped me a lot and even though i went there for depression i've found it very helpful to talk to someone instead of holding everything in. When Therapy came to an end i created a Therapy Journal and from time to time when i need to i write what i'm feeling down. Everything eventually does come to an end but that doesn't mean that you have to stop expressing how you feel. If you don't really like writing, you could always join an emotional support group or you could talk to friends and family. I hope this helps.

[PinkFlamingo99]

To be honest, it wasn't worth it for me.

[Soccer mom]

I was in your place several months ago. I've recently come to the realization that my T. is there to help me and push me along but I have to do all the work. I'm totally attached but I think it's more secure now. I have also come to the realization that she can't give me everything I need/want. This was huge for me. I looked back at past letters of why let myself feel this way - it will end, this is too painful, she doesn't feel the same etc. You have to move through all of those feelings. Those are the things you need to bring up to her. I just today (after a year of therapy) realized that I don't like feeling close to her because i feel like I'm imposing my feelings on her. What if they are wrong? What if she doesn't want them? I realized it's all from my mom and this affects ALL of my other relationships. I never say my feelings first because I could be wrong or they may not want my feelings.
I have shed so many tears this past year and completely been in the dumps. I've had to leave work due to my emotions, pushed everyone away, etc. I hated every moment of feeling attached to her knowing it will end.

We recently decided to space sessions. I still don't like it but I'm better about it. I've realized that I'm really ok. While I'm attached to her and miss her, it doesn't mean I won't have a connection with her. I could go on and on due to so much progress this last month.

Keep going and tell your T. all about your feelings. They all stem from your childhood. Once you figure out how and why, you can process them easier. The more you talk, the better it will get.

[Cinnamon_Stick]

Originally Posted by Soccer mom

I was in your place several months ago. I've recently come to the realization that my T. is there to help me and push me along but I have to do all the work. I'm totally attached but I think it's more secure now. I have also come to the realization that she can't give me everything I need/want. This was huge for me. I looked back at past letters of why let myself feel this way - it will end, this is too painful, she doesn't feel the same etc. You have to move through all of those feelings. Those are the things you need to bring up to her. I just today (after a year of therapy) realized that I don't like feeling close to her because i feel like I'm imposing my feelings on her. What if they are wrong? What if she doesn't want them? I realized it's all from my mom and this affects ALL of my other relationships. I never say my feelings first because I could be wrong or they may not want my feelings.
I have shed so many tears this past year and completely been in the dumps. I've had to leave work due to my emotions, pushed everyone away, etc. I hated every moment of feeling attached to her knowing it will end.

We recently decided to space sessions. I still don't like it but I'm better about it. I've realized that I'm really ok. While I'm attached to her and miss her, it doesn't mean I won't have a connection with her. I could go on and on due to so much progress this last month.

Keep going and tell your T. all about your feelings. They all stem from your childhood. Once you figure out how and why, you can process them easier. The more you talk, the better it will get.

The first part of what you wrote could have been written by me! I just hate my attachment to my t. I plan on talking to her about it.

Thank you so much for your post. It really helped.