[secretgalaxy]

T wants to start going deep into the emotional things...

She said I was avoiding too much. I want to talk to her about them, but I am too scared to.

She also said she won't push me. But that is exactly what I need. I just can't bring it up as I don't know how or what, exactly, to talk about. I just don't know what is bothering me so much.

Any ideas on how to survive tomorrow?

Could you write out your fears in a note?

I'm going through the same thing and my T and I work on not overwhelming me while still pushing me a bit.

The most critical thing is that you're willing!

[secretgalaxy]

That's a good idea The only problem is that I don't know what is bothering me... She wants to get to the root of why I am

Possible trigger:

suicidal

I think I am going to write down, or draw my emotions, even if I can't pinpoint where they are coming from. That may help open up some.

Thanks!

Drawing sounds like a good idea!

You can also start out by telling her you don't know what's bothering you or "the root cause" of things.

Sometimes, things are complex.
Good luck!

[ThisWayOut]

one thing that helped me was asking T to push, and asking her to remind me I asked her to push me on things. One day I want to tackle things head-on, then I get to therapy and I freeze...

Drawing things out sounds like a great idea. I do that a lot. It's a good way to get talking abbout things (even if it starts out simply as explaining what I was tryign to do and how it failed my vision)...

Maybe you could make collages out of pictures from magazines/ news papers? That used to help me get talking with my first t.

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by ThisWayOut

one thing that helped me was asking T to push, and asking her to remind me I asked her to push me on things. One day I want to tackle things head-on, then I get to therapy and I freeze...

Drawing things out sounds like a great idea. I do that a lot. It's a good way to get talking abbout things (even if it starts out simply as explaining what I was tryign to do and how it failed my vision)...

Agreed with this idea of asking her to push you. Just say you want to talk about it, but may need her to help draw you out, and it's OK if she pushes you a bit.

[secretgalaxy]

I told her last week that it was okay to push me, as I will not talk unless she at least starts it. And even then, I'll probably minimize my feelings. She explained that I have to be willing to change and to work on it, then she wouldn't have to push. I thought that was a bit weird.

[growlycat]

Although there is nothing wrong with silence, saying anything can help break open the conversation. Even if it just to say "I am having a hard time finding the words to express what is going on for me." Sometimes just talking about why it is hard to talk is enough to get you to the harder conversations.

I think my psychodynamic T and I had to discuss the meaning of shame before taking on bigger conversations.

[AllHeart]

Writing things down helped me. I still have to do it sometimes. Drawing is a great idea, too if you are a fast drawer. Be sure to tell (or write) your T that you need a little push, and that you aren't really able to identify the root cause so she understands. She should have some ideas on how to help you with figuring out to label what you feel.

[dontevenknow]

I had something along the lines of this in therapy where I felt this gut feeling that I wanted to get everything out but I couldn't fathom bringing it up myself, I didn't even know how. I did basically what other people here recommended, I asked her to push. I basically said, ok I can handle this, lets go. Bc I also had a hard time deciding what to even talk about I told her basically that she could ask any question and I would try and answer it. Our agreement was though that if I told her we had to stop or she had to back off that she would (she would ask why, but she still would).

In regards to her statement that if you were willing she wouldn't have to push....I don't think that is necessarily true. Maybe you are willing to try and just struggle with finding the ground to start. I don't understand why she is hesitant to push you....maybe try reaffirming that you are willing to put in an effort but you trust her and need her guidance along the way?

[secretgalaxy]

Thanks everyone for all your replies, they helped quite a lot! I am not that nervous about it anymore. My appointment is in 2 hours, so Thankfully I'll be able to get it over with.

I'll explain to her that I'm willing but I just can't start. I don't know if she will let me write in session but I don't think I need it. I may write a little before I go so that I have a jist of what my feelings are.

I don't think we have enough silence in our session, so I'll try to remind myself to allow some in. I tend to try to fill it up with mindless chatter, haha.

I will definitely let everyone know how it went, and hopefully I will get some stuff out today, maybe even have an epiphany :P

Again, thank you for all that answered!

[PinkFlamingo99]

Good luck! I'm worried sick about my appointment today too.

We can do it!

[secretgalaxy]

We didn't get really deep today, but I was able to open up a little bit more to her. She became a little more worried that my SUI thoughts have increased and so she wants me to come next week.

Honestly she didn't have to push too much as I spoke openly about certain things, but I did not go into any details whatsoever. Maybe next week she may push a little bit more but I feel I did okay today and didn't babble off topic.