[timentimeagain]

1. does your T smile? my T is so serious...that even if i am smiling..he just wont. i feel like telling him..lighten up a bit...! dont have to be so serious...

2. do you ever interrupt ur T. while he is talking..i have started doing so...and feel terrible for my bad manners !

3. He is usually taking notes..while i talk...and this is decreasing over time. in the beginning of every session..he writes quiet alot...then he stops...sometimes i feel i am saying something important that he should be writing..but he isnt...then i think to myself...maybe its not that important...and i should just stop talking...and i do stop. i actually like it when he is taking notes while i talk...he does look up at me from time to time...i guess i have gotten used to the idea of him taking notes while i talk...and now it seems just weird that he isnt..notepad is left on the sidetable...and i am thinking how does he know i am not gonna say something extremely important next. even though he is listening and paying attention...without the notepad in his hand..it just feels incomplete. he almost looks naked without the notepad ...so to speak...

[Ellahmae]

1. Yes. During appropriate times. Will often laugh, too.

2. No. I don't have to, she'll sometimes interrupt me but it's always valid when she does.

3. She used to take copius notes, now it's off and on. Doesn't bother me never really noticed when she did it before as she's very good at not letting it be distracting so to speak.

[Partless]

Just want to comment on number three, looking back it's usually made me self-conscious. If I say something and T does not take notes, I think probably no big deal. If I say something that I think is no biggie and suddenly T starts writing furiously, I'm like Oh my God what's going on?! I feel judged or like maybe I made a big mistake or maybe I said something real good and groundbreaking, almost want to ask T if I can see what they just wrote! lol

1. My T smiles, a lot more than me. She's sounded amused too, but I don't remember if she has laughed.

2. I occasionally interrupt her. If I do, she falls silent and listens. If I'm rambling, she'll redirect me/say something which catches my attention during a pause.

3. She never takes notes. I think she writes them afterwards. I wonder how she remembers things as I'm quite certain she has a large caseload at the agency.

[brillskep]

1. My therapist smiles quite a bit when appropriate. We both have great sense of humor.

2. Yes, I do interrupt my therapist, but much less than I used to in the beginning of therapy, I think. There are a couple things that I want to say about this though - first of all, I think "good manners" in therapy are much different from day to day life. Yes, you need to observe some boundaries, such as not harassing or harming the therapist (like attacking etc), but other than that, it's a time for you, so it may be helpful to you in some circumstances to do things in your therapy which might be considered "bad manners" anywhere else. But this is your therapy. This is where you get to experioment with whatever it is you need, as long as it's not actually harmful for yourself or someone else. Interrupting surely does not fall under harmful behavior.
Also, in my case, even though I've never got around to telling my therapist, I thought long and hard about why I was interrupting him with certain topics. and what I've realized was that most people in my family had no patience to listen to me or understanding for my feelings, so I felt like if I really cared about a person and topic I might, in some cases, have to interrupt in order to be heard. That otherwise my turn wouldn't come, or it wouldn't count. For me this was a great insight. Now, your reasons and experiences may well be different, but what I'm suggesting is that you have a patient understanding approach with yourself, and that you use this aspect of your therapy for further self understanding and personal growth.

3. Please don't judge the importance of what you say based on whether or not it gets written down. If it's important to you, then it is important. Though I understand how it may come as a disappointment and a surprise if your therapist used to write a lot of things down and now he no longer does.
I don't know why your therapist is taking fewer notes. It could be for a number of reasons and it's safest to ask.
Just a thought, though. Unless you've been for a long time with this therapist and this change is recent, this might be because in the very beginning, a therapist needs to get down your basic details: main issue(s), past concerns, family situation, etc. it might be that, once these things are written down, a therapist may either take fewer notes or just take notes after sessions since he already knows you and it becomes easier to remember what you said.
There are also therapists who stop taking (many or any) notes after a while in practice. Like I said, it could be for a number of reasons. Sure, it could also be that your therapist has a different opinion about what's important - but just because he has a different idea doesn't make it true about you.

[Jessica Hazlitt]

1) Yes, I refer to it as "the annoying thing" because it cuts through all my defences like a daisy cutter. It makes me want to cuddle up to him and kinda tussle like u do with close friends as a kid. Although if he did it during one of our occasional intense moments when we were physically close..... It would probably have other consequences

2) Sometimes. If he's going off on a tangent or getting the wrong end of the stick.

3) My T has never taken notes. At first I found it odd but I figure it would just get in the way. He makes short notes after each session. If he did during session he wouldn't be able to read mine :P

[stopdog]

1. Yes the woman does. I find it annoying. I am not there to play with her. I have a sense of humor but I do not think the woman is worthy of it.

2. I did. Now I usually don't let the woman talk.

3 she took notes at the beginning. Not well from what I could tell. She seems to have stopped

[Chummy]

1. Yes, my T smiles. At the beginning of the session we greet each other with a ''hi'' and a smile. And also when saying goodbye. During the session, sometimes, when appropiate. I also sometimes smile during the session.

2. No. We let each other finish speaking. I'm not such of a talker, so I don't really feel the need to interrupt her.

3. My T doesn't take notes during session. Which I'm glad about. She write notes about the session when I have left. There's Always some time between two clients.

And about pdoc:
1. He smiles sometimes.
2. I don't. I don't talk much to him.
3. He takes notes. I'm not sure what I think about that. There were more T who took notes during session, and others wrote note after session. And then there were T's who had better wrote down some notes during session.
When he sit opposite from me, and writes something down, I want to know what he writes so bad. I can't read it from where I sit, he doesn't write very clear. I sometimes just want to grab his notebook and read what he wrote about me.

But I don't think that when he doesn't make a note when you tell him something, that it isn't important. Maybe he just wants to give all his attention to you, before writing someting down about it.

[Coco3]

1. Yes, he does. He smiles when you enter the office. He makes jokes or uses a funny example to explain something.

2. Yes I've done that, for instance when he was wrong about something.

3. He never takes notes during session, he writes things down after. He said he has a good memory.

[ruh roh]

My therapist has a great laugh and smile.

She took a lot of notes in the beginning. Now, only occasionally. Once, after she grabbed her notebook and scribbled something, I asked her what she wrote down. She picked it up and read from it--a book title and the name of a humorist I talked about. That was it. I don't ask anymore.

[ThisWayOut]

1) my T's have laughed or smiled, though often they are pretty reserved at the beginning of the relationship. There have been a few times I've said something that I can see T confused about the intended humor (I tend to have really dry humor and super-dry delivery), so I have told them it's ok to laugh at that, or it's ok to smile at that. I would be very uncomfortable with a T that did not have a sense fo humor or playfulness.

2) I try to be conscious of my penchant for interrupting and bull-dozing over what others are saying, T included. I have forgotten how to listen. I'm trying to work on that. One previous T though talked way too much. There was one or two times I told her I needed to be able to finish what I'm saying before she started her monologue. I wouldn't often interrupt her though, because it felt pointless. I spoke less with her, but wrote more. I think we actually got more done that way.

3)Current T does not take notes. Most of my T's have refrained from note-taking unless it was the beginning and they wanted to keep their facts straight, or we were planning something out. I think regular note-taking would be distracting for me...

[precaryous]

1) My therapist smiles and laughs. I see her with other patients in the waiting room...she laughs with them, too. I think she is mostly a happy person. She is appropriate if I am telling her something neutral or serious. She is right there with me, emotionally and intellectually.

2) Yeah, I have a bad habit of interrupting T when she is talking. I've apologized. She said that it was all right...that she hadn't really noticed. If she thought I was interrupting her too much, she would bring it up....but she hasn't noticed it being an issue.

3) She took notes the first session and hasn't taken notes since. She explained this at my first session. Later, I asked her if she makes notes after session...yes, she does, just a few lines.

[junkDNA]

my T smiles and laughs a lot. we joke around a lot.

no i dont usually interrupt him

he doesn't take notes, he never has. he writes notes after the session

[musinglizzy]

1. Yes, my T smiles. And laughs. And will crack jokes. She's quite funny. But she also knows when it's appropriate and when it's not.

2. Yes, I've found myself doing this some, I don't like it. So I'm trying to work on that. But, I also don't talk "enough" in therapy, so I think if I interrupt her to talk, she's probably thankful for it....because it means I'm actually gonna talk.

3. My T took notes the very first session, and not at all since. It would make me nervous, so I'm glad she doesn't. I'm quite sure I would hate that. She has gotten a pad of paper out to write out a list or something pertaining to my therapy, but she doesn't take notes during my session, and I'm thankful for that.

[LonesomeTonight]

1. Both my T and marriage counselor smile quite a bit. MC does a lot of joking around with me and my husband, which makes the atmosphere more relaxed.
2. Occasionally, but I always apologize when I do.
3. My T will occasionally scribble something down on her legal pad. I asked once about it, and she said it's for things we should bring up or discuss more in future sessions. My MC never takes notes. I don't know if he later writes things down or just remembers it all. Meanwhile, my p-doc writes very extensive notes, to the point that I have to stop talking to wait for her to finish writing them down. She needs to learn shorthand or something!

[AllHeart]

1. Yep. She grins more than smiles, and we both laugh a lot.

2. No, I very seldom interrupt. Someone once told me when people interrupt it's usually means that person isn't listening, so I'm paranoid about being labeled a non-listener. IDK though. I think it's human nature to interrupt others to some degree.

3. My T used to take a fair amount of notes, but barely takes any anymore. I remember her note taking in the beginning used to be distracting to me also. Made me kinda paranoid truth be told. Thought I must be a real nut case for her to have to write down so much about me. Now she barely takes any notes, and remembers a lot more than I do. She must really dote on everything I say. HAHHAA!!

[Tearinyourhand]

T has a gorgeous smile and laughs a lot. both of which I find endearing. he's just a totally affiable, geeky guy who happens to be DDG. his whole face lights up like a little kid. he also makes sound effects like an applause meter to let me know I've said something that's made him feel a burst of affection towards me. it's hilarious because he's so bright side and I'm so Lydia Deets.

I don't really bother interrupting him. I'm in therapy to learn how to navigate real world scenarios. i like the things he has to say and enjoy hearing how he processes what I share. I mean if I want no reaction to 50 mins of me jibber jabbing I can arrange my stuffies on the couch and talk to them.

he doesn't take notes. claims to have a terrible memory and yet remembers practically everything I tell him in session.

[stopdog]

What is DDG?

[Jessica Hazlitt]

Originally Posted by stopdog

What is DDG?

I think it's "drop dead gorgeous"

1. Yes, she smiled and we laughed often too. When I saw her in person last month after so long, we were both smiling pretty much non-stop!!

2. Yes I interrupted her allllll the time. Not rudely, but just because I had a sudden thought or insight that just burst out of me and I always said I'm sorry and then she'd say "no, no, continue!" lol

3. She didn't take any notes this last time we talked because it was such a laid-back session. But she always did take notes.

[Crescent Moon]

My first therapist was quite a lot like that. He would smile, but the copious note-taking was a problem. Our whole relationship became a problem. He was intense, thought a lot of himself, was not at all warm, and the whole thing eventually imploded.

The therapist I have now never takes a note when I'm in there. I think she jots down a very brief, basic thing after I leave. She is attentive, and generally warm. She is 'in it' with me. And therapy with her has been very successful.

That's how I always felt with my t too - that she was always "in it" with me. And mine was very successful as well!

[laxer12]

1. My T will smile but if I'm being serious, then she is serious too. Sometimes during silences where I don't know what to say, I'll look at her and she'll give me a little smile but it's more of a "I'm going to wait for you to say something" smile. I'm usually pretty serious during sessions but recently they have lightened up a bit so we both smile more.

2. I never interrupt my T. I'm a really attentive listener and I try not to think about what I want to say while other people are talking so I don't have anything to say to interrupt her anyway. A couple of times we have started talking at the same time and I usually stop and let her talk because that's just what I do.

3. I saw a T once for just a couple of sessions and she took notes but my current T who I've been seeing for about 7 months never takes notes. I didn't realize how much note-taking bothered me until seeing my current T. I feel like she is 100% present and listening to me and there are no distractions if she isn't taking notes. I'm sure she takes a few notes after the session but I'm really glad she doesn't do it while I'm there.

[justdesserts]

1. Yes, he smiles and laughs. We joke and tease back and forth. I think he's a fun person.
2. I try not to interrupt him. He doesn't interrupt me, either.
3. No therapist I've ever seen has taken notes. When I was in graduate school getting my counseling degree, they specifically told us NOT to take notes, so I'm always surprised by how many therapists take notes.

[RedSun]

1. She smiles sometimes. If I make a joke, she will laugh, but that's not often. She always smiles when I arrive, which is nice.
2. No I don't usually interrupt. Sometimes we both go to speak at the same time, and she will say 'go on' to me.
3. No she doesn't take notes in session. She said she writes a few brief lines after each session.