This is a list of beliefs that some would call "core beliefs". Thought it might be interesting for some to look at.

http://www.heartnsoulcounselling.com...e.26965939.pdf

I must have very limited insight because i dont see some of these as being changeable they are just the facts. I am not sure i am in a place just now to explore core beliefs though my T is very gently pushing me in that direction i think.

[divine1966]

I don't believe these are facts at all. These are beliefs. And most are changeable

Only few of them perhaps are facts and few of them I felt are not mistaken. I

I have to be good at what I do and yes it is important. In some jobs you must be very good and in fact perfect or you'll cause damage. And in all reality I do not make enough money to do what I want and itsnt belief but a fact.

But the rest I think all all beliefs and very much mistaken. I was glad that I couldn't relate to any outside of perfection at school and work and lack of money.

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[JustShakey]

Reading that list I realize just how far I have come in the last year. A lot of that stuff used to be true for me. It just isn't anymore

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by JustShakey

Reading that list I realize just how far I have come in the last year. A lot of that stuff used to be true for me. It just isn't anymore

Ditto. I think a lot of it was "environmental". That is in my case envirmomental.

Just for the sake of discussion...if a person is doing really well at work or school, is this belief:

"My accomplishments at work/school are extremely important" harmful?

By "accomplishments" here I'm assuming that means tasks accomplished, people helped, things learned, projects successfully done, and not job title/salary/grades.

If we didn't think school or our job was important, would we pour ourselves into it enough to be a high achiever?

I can see, of course, that if things are not going so well at school or the job, then this belief would become a problem.

Wow! thanks for posting that. I am going to go through it a little more slowly a 2nd time. I imagine my answers have changed dramatically from what they would have been at the beginning of therapy.

Originally Posted by jo_thorne

Just for the sake of discussion...if a person is doing really well at work or school, is this belief:

"My accomplishments at work/school are extremely important" harmful?

By "accomplishments" here I'm assuming that means tasks accomplished, people helped, things learned, projects successfully done, and not job title/salary/grades.

If we didn't think school or our job was important, would we pour ourselves into it enough to be a high achiever?

I can see, of course, that if things are not going so well at school or the job, then this belief would become a problem.

I have known people who had their whole identity wrapped up in their job, etc., who became utterly devastated and paralyzed if they lost that identity. Others who are so hyperfocused on achievement to the detriment of personal relationships.

I believe this comes from the book The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook. I'm not at home so I can't verify that, but this is one of the books that my therapist insisted I read. Actually, he only insisted I read the two or three chapters in the middle of the book over mistaken beliefs and cognitive distortions (going by memory here). Those several chapters were extremely helpful to me. They were a fairly quick and to the point overview.

If I remember right, following the questionaire was a brilliant set of questions to work through with what you considered the most troublesome mistaken beliefs and challenge them. I remember sitting down and just journalling through those questions in reference to my most mistaken beliefs. It was intense and enlightening because it challenged me to figure out where those beliefs originated for me and to, in a way, place that responsibility on those it belonged to. This is cognitive work, but it is very in line with how my T worked with me -- exploring the past in context of how it still affects me in my present. I know people often don't like behavioral cognitive approaches because therapists don't incorporate work on the past, but this type of slant to cognitive work does both in tandem. For me, it was the approach that helped me move forward and heal more than anything.

[scorpiosis37]

While most of the statement are "beliefs" that can be changed, I do think some of them are "facts" for many people given external circumstances. I'm fortunate in that most of the statements have never applied to me, but I found 6 that do apply to me. I do not think that they are simply "beliefs" that I can change at will; I think they are contingent upon external circumstances.

4. There is seldom enough time to do what I want.
5. Life is very difficult-it’s a struggle.
19. It’s very hard to be alone.
26. My accomplishments at work/school are extremely important.
31. I can’t rely on others for help.
35. I’m the only one who can solve my problems

In my view, my career (I'm a professor) is one of the things that gives me the most joy, confidence, and sense of self-worth. I like my job and I don't want to change jobs. However, the downside of my job is that I don't have a lot of free time to do other things. That's a fact. My accomplishments are also important to me. Why shouldn't they be? I've worked really hard to achieve them! I don't think they define me or that I would be worthless without them; they're simply important to me. I think that's a fact. Currently, there are not many people in my life that I can depend on. My family has never been dependable, I do not have a partner, and my best friend moved out of state. I have friends and co-workers who are semi-reliable. If I needed a ride or if I needed to borrow something, would I ask them? Sure. But would I trust them 100% with something really important? No. Why? Because I have yet to meet anyone who has actually followed through when they have promised to do something important for me. Other peoples' failure to follow through has caused me a LOT of problems, throughout my life. So do I trust anyone other than myself? No, not right now. Do I think there are people out there who do follow through? Yes. I have plenty of friends who have parents and spouses who are trustworthy. The fact remains that MY friends/family are not. I would love to meet a significant other who is trustworthy. I think it's possible. It just hasn't happened yet. I also think that, for some, life is freakin' hard. If you have a history of abuse, if you have been a target of prejudice (sexual orientation/race/gender), have difficult socio-economic circumstances, do not have the support of family, etc., then life is often difficult. I do not think that is a matter of opinion. I think it is a fact. I think it could possibly become easier in the future, but if you are currently going through these kinds of things-- or still regularly affected by the consequences-- then I think life is difficult.

[stopdog]

Going through the questionnaire sort of confirmed for me that for me, the core issue thing is not wreaking havoc upon my life. My answers have not been changed by therapy which was a great relief to me (even the trust one, while higher than the rest - did not go over the list's stated number for concern). I found the list fascinating.

Originally Posted by stopdog

Going through the questionnaire sort of confirmed for me that for me, the core issue thing is not wreaking havoc upon my life. I found the list fascinating.

That's good. Not everyone struggles in that area. I know my answers now as compared to a few years ago have changed drastically which I consider a triumph. Reframing your long-held beliefs about yourself and your world is difficult work.

[stopdog]

It sounds like it would be.

Originally Posted by scorpiosis37

While most of the statement are "beliefs" that can be changed, I do think some of them are "facts" for many people given external circumstances. I'm fortunate in that most of the statements have never applied to me, but I found 6 that do apply to me. I do not think that they are simply "beliefs" that I can change at will; I think they are contingent upon external circumstances.

4. There is seldom enough time to do what I want.
5. Life is very difficult-it’s a struggle.
19. It’s very hard to be alone.
26. My accomplishments at work/school are extremely important.
31. I can’t rely on others for help.
35. I’m the only one who can solve my problems

In my view, my career (I'm a professor) is one of the things that gives me the most joy, confidence, and sense of self-worth. I like my job and I don't want to change jobs. However, the downside of my job is that I don't have a lot of free time to do other things. That's a fact. My accomplishments are also important to me. Why shouldn't they be? I've worked really hard to achieve them! I don't think they define me or that I would be worthless without them; they're simply important to me. I think that's a fact. Currently, there are not many people in my life that I can depend on. My family has never been dependable, I do not have a partner, and my best friend moved out of state. I have friends and co-workers who are semi-reliable. If I needed a ride or if I needed to borrow something, would I ask them? Sure. But would I trust them 100% with something really important? No. Why? Because I have yet to meet anyone who has actually followed through when they have promised to do something important for me. Other peoples' failure to follow through has caused me a LOT of problems, throughout my life. So do I trust anyone other than myself? No, not right now. Do I think there are people out there who do follow through? Yes. I have plenty of friends who have parents and spouses who are trustworthy. The fact remains that MY friends/family are not. I would love to meet a significant other who is trustworthy. I think it's possible. It just hasn't happened yet. I also think that, for some, life is freakin' hard. If you have a history of abuse, if you have been a target of prejudice (sexual orientation/race/gender), have difficult socio-economic circumstances, do not have the support of family, etc., then life is often difficult. I do not think that is a matter of opinion. I think it is a fact. I think it could possibly become easier in the future, but if you are currently going through these kinds of things-- or still regularly affected by the consequences-- then I think life is difficult.

I think that is where the second part of that questionaire is really important. As they explain, there are categories of beliefs that can pool together and as a heavily weighted group combined can particularly cause problems. Individual beliefs spread over a variety of categories may not be particularly troublesome, but if you see a pattern of similar and related beliefs, those may indicate problems in the areas of feeling powerless, low self-esteem, fear of abandonment, perfectionism, etc. Don't overlook that 2nd part. It sounds like your various beliefs aren't indicating a problematic pattern.

[growlycat]

Since core beliefs don't always reflect reality, I'm guessing it doesn't matter what I believe. Believing in the tooth fairy does not make her real.

Originally Posted by growlycat

Since core beliefs don't always reflect reality, I'm guessing it doesn't matter what I believe. Believing in the tooth fairy does not make her real.

I spent most of my life believing I was broken, fundamentally not normal, not at all okay in the world. It was not a reflection of reality, but it completely mattered because in my mind, it was reality. It kept me from having a shred of self-confidence. It kept me isolated. It kept me feeling weak and powerless and open to further abuse. It was real in my mind and absolutely mattered because those beliefs screwed up my life for many, many years.

Figuring out that those beliefs truly weren't reality when I had spent my life making choices based on those mistaken beliefs was life-changing.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by jo_thorne

Just for the sake of discussion...if a person is doing really well at work or school, is this belief:

"My accomplishments at work/school are extremely important" harmful?

By "accomplishments" here I'm assuming that means tasks accomplished, people helped, things learned, projects successfully done, and not job title/salary/grades.

If we didn't think school or our job was important, would we pour ourselves into it enough to be a high achiever?

I can see, of course, that if things are not going so well at school or the job, then this belief would become a problem.

I think if this belief starts causing problems then it is mistaken. For example if one is willing to sacrifice their relationship or neglects thief children in order to have 4.0 or one is a workaholic etc other than that it isn't a false belief

For me professional and academic success are important and I do like to be near perfect but it doesn't cause problems in my life so i don't consider it mistaken

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Originally Posted by Bipolarartist

I must have very limited insight because i dont see some of these as being changeable they are just the facts.

I know I'll regret posting this, but I agree. The list makes me rather angry because it is so condescending and so blind to the fact that people are different. (I'm starting to feel like a broken record here.) Plus it is contradictory. Are we allowed to think that life is hard or not? Question 5 says no, we're not allowed to believe that, questions 38-40 say we're not allowed to believe the opposite. Is it okay to prefer to be alone and not trust others, or is it "mistaken" to think that it's hard to be alone? (And who is the author of the list to tell other people that the assertion "I feel x" is a "mistake"? Does she know better than I what or how I feel? Probably not. I do realise that it's just sloppy phrasing, but I have very little patience with that kind of sloppiness in this kind of text.)

There is no science behind this, it's all based on culturally acceptable notions of what people ought to want or not. Which is not a crime, but it is dishonest of the list's author not to state that up front. She gives no references at all, we have no idea where she gets the list from. Plus: "It’s important that you give this group special attention when you begin to work with affirmations to start changing you mistaken beliefs" (bolding mine) Yes, because affirmations works for everybody. Not.

[msjblonde]

Originally Posted by scorpiosis37

While most of the statement are "beliefs" that can be changed, I do think some of them are "facts" for many people given external circumstances. I'm fortunate in that most of the statements have never applied to me, but I found 6 that do apply to me. I do not think that they are simply "beliefs" that I can change at will; I think they are contingent upon external circumstances.

4. There is seldom enough time to do what I want.
5. Life is very difficult-it’s a struggle.
19. It’s very hard to be alone.
26. My accomplishments at work/school are extremely important.
31. I can’t rely on others for help.
35. I’m the only one who can solve my problems

In my view, my career (I'm a professor) is one of the things that gives me the most joy, confidence, and sense of self-worth. I like my job and I don't want to change jobs. However, the downside of my job is that I don't have a lot of free time to do other things. That's a fact. My accomplishments are also important to me. Why shouldn't they be? I've worked really hard to achieve them! I don't think they define me or that I would be worthless without them; they're simply important to me. I think that's a fact. Currently, there are not many people in my life that I can depend on. My family has never been dependable, I do not have a partner, and my best friend moved out of state. I have friends and co-workers who are semi-reliable. If I needed a ride or if I needed to borrow something, would I ask them? Sure. But would I trust them 100% with something really important? No. Why? Because I have yet to meet anyone who has actually followed through when they have promised to do something important for me. Other peoples' failure to follow through has caused me a LOT of problems, throughout my life. So do I trust anyone other than myself? No, not right now. Do I think there are people out there who do follow through? Yes. I have plenty of friends who have parents and spouses who are trustworthy. The fact remains that MY friends/family are not. I would love to meet a significant other who is trustworthy. I think it's possible. It just hasn't happened yet. I also think that, for some, life is freakin' hard. If you have a history of abuse, if you have been a target of prejudice (sexual orientation/race/gender), have difficult socio-economic circumstances, do not have the support of family, etc., then life is often difficult. I do not think that is a matter of opinion. I think it is a fact. I think it could possibly become easier in the future, but if you are currently going through these kinds of things-- or still regularly affected by the consequences-- then I think life is difficult.

Yes yes yes, just this! I could have written this!

Originally Posted by Mastodon

I know I'll regret posting this, but I agree. The list makes me rather angry because it is so condescending and so blind to the fact that people are different. (I'm starting to feel like a broken record here.) Plus it is contradictory. Are we allowed to think that life is hard or not? Question 5 says no, we're not allowed to believe that, questions 38-40 say we're not allowed to believe the opposite. Is it okay to prefer to be alone and not trust others, or is it "mistaken" to think that it's hard to be alone? (And who is the author of the list to tell other people that the assertion "I feel x" is a "mistake"? Does she know better than I what or how I feel? Probably not. I do realise that it's just sloppy phrasing, but I have very little patience with that kind of sloppiness in this kind of text.)

There is no science behind this, it's all based on culturally acceptable notions of what people ought to want or not. Which is not a crime, but it is dishonest of the list's author not to state that up front. She gives no references at all, we have no idea where she gets the list from. Plus: "It’s important that you give this group special attention when you begin to work with affirmations to start changing you mistaken beliefs" (bolding mine) Yes, because affirmations works for everybody. Not.

No where does it say these beliefs aren't allowed, and again, you are looking for patterns of beliefs that might be creating problems in your life, not looking at each belief as a dictate of being right or wrong. If you don't see a pattern to your beliefs, if they aren't culturally relevant for your life, then it very well may not apply for you.

By the way, Mast, why would you regret posting your own take on this questionaire? Your opininion is just your opinion and equally valid to you. Your cultural takes on things are quite interesting. I, for one, always enjoy them. I mentioned the source of this questionaire later in the thread by the way. It is just one part of a whole process, not a process unto itself. Kind of the first step in a process of personal introspection rather than a terminating assessment.

[unaluna]

Some of my "mistaken beliefs" that have changed thru therapy are pretty basic. 1. I'm allowed to eat BEFORE im mad with hunger. 2. I dont have to be constipated. 3. People are glad to see me. My mother never acts glad to see me, but my t always does. I went from cringing in the waiting room to dancing. 4. I know how to take turns (this showed up in a job review, that i didnt).

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by Mastodon

I know I'll regret posting this, but I agree. The list makes me rather angry because it is so condescending and so blind to the fact that people are different. (I'm starting to feel like a broken record here.) Plus it is contradictory. Are we allowed to think that life is hard or not? Question 5 says no, we're not allowed to believe that, questions 38-40 say we're not allowed to believe the opposite. Is it okay to prefer to be alone and not trust others, or is it "mistaken" to think that it's hard to be alone? (And who is the author of the list to tell other people that the assertion "I feel x" is a "mistake"? Does she know better than I what or how I feel? Probably not. I do realise that it's just sloppy phrasing, but I have very little patience with that kind of sloppiness in this kind of text.)

There is no science behind this, it's all based on culturally acceptable notions of what people ought to want or not. Which is not a crime, but it is dishonest of the list's author not to state that up front. She gives no references at all, we have no idea where she gets the list from. Plus: "It’s important that you give this group special attention when you begin to work with affirmations to start changing you mistaken beliefs" (bolding mine) Yes, because affirmations works for everybody. Not.

I think you can look at those beliefs in a cluster, that's why those scores are put together in a cluster. Of course we are allowed to think or belief whatever the heck we want. But for example if a person always believed they are inferior or not worthy of love or are useless etc then it us something to work on. But that's if a person wants to work on something. If not then it is their choice

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[Chummy]

Thanks for the list! I was actually working on what my core beliefs are today. The ones that bother me, that make me depressed and feeling worthless. The ones that need to change.

Originally Posted by Mastodon

I know I'll regret posting this, but I agree. The list makes me rather angry because it is so condescending and so blind to the fact that people are different. (I'm starting to feel like a broken record here.) Plus it is contradictory. Are we allowed to think that life is hard or not? Question 5 says no, we're not allowed to believe that, questions 38-40 say we're not allowed to believe the opposite. Is it okay to prefer to be alone and not trust others, or is it "mistaken" to think that it's hard to be alone? (And who is the author of the list to tell other people that the assertion "I feel x" is a "mistake"? Does she know better than I what or how I feel? Probably not. I do realise that it's just sloppy phrasing, but I have very little patience with that kind of sloppiness in this kind of text.)

There is no science behind this, it's all based on culturally acceptable notions of what people ought to want or not. Which is not a crime, but it is dishonest of the list's author not to state that up front. She gives no references at all, we have no idea where she gets the list from. Plus: "It’s important that you give this group special attention when you begin to work with affirmations to start changing you mistaken beliefs" (bolding mine) Yes, because affirmations works for everybody. Not.

I agree with all of this. It's bunk/junk "science. No offense to the OP who posted this at all.

Originally Posted by puzzle_bug1987

I agree with all of this. It's bunk/junk "science. No offense to the OP who posted this at all.

No offense taken. I nor the writers of the list ever called it a science anyway. It is simply a method of evaluating your own beliefs about yourself, an approach that might be helpful to some. As in all thinks psychology-related, no one approach is right for every person. This IS an approach that related to the questions concerning beliefs that were already being discussed, and it IS an approach that some have found helpful, including myself. To completely personally write of an approach is each person's prerogative. We do need to be cognizant that our personal opinion about this is just that -- personal.