[Walking Man]

I got a referral to a specific therapist. I'm concerned because she does Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. If I understand correctly the approach they use de-emphasizes why you are the way you are, especially with respect to childhood, focusing on how you are, and how you act right now. I also understand that it can be very structured and focused.

I'm concerned because I think I really need to talk about my experiences growing up. I'm also concerned because, frankly I just need someone to talk to, and might get frustrated with too much structured goal oriented work. I'm the sort of person that needs to understand "why".

I know how things go will depend a lot on me and the therapist personally. I don't want to state my concerns too directly at our first meeting (i can be a little blunt). Are there questions I could ask, or things to say, that would help?

[LonesomeTonight]

I think it depends on whether she's strictly a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist or if that's just one of the tools she uses. My T does CBT, and I initially went to her for that to help me with panic attacks. But she's also trained and has background in psychotherapy, so we switched to that approach when I wanted/needed to focus on other issues. So I'd ask about that.

It depends on if the therapist ONLY does CBT or if it is one of the approaches she uses. I personally would never see a therapist who only used one modality of therapy.

That said, my therapist is very behaviorally oriented (CBT/REBT, etc.), but also incorporates other modalities as needed. As behavioral has he is, we most definitely looked at my past in the context of how it affected my present. I benefitted greatly from the behavioral approaches, and honestly, it is those skills that I continue to use most often now that I am no longer in therapy.

Definitely ask if CBT is her only therapy modality. If it is, it probably won't be a good match and you might should keep looking.

[Chummy]

Not all CBT therapist are strict on CBT. My T does CBT, but also other things. We also just talk. We talk about how I am now and also about things that happened in the past that still bother me now. I'm glad we're doing what we do. I also need room to just talk and not just strictly CBT excersizes.

You can just tell her about your concerns in the first meeting. It better to talk about that now, in the first meeting. Then she know what you need and you know what you can expect of her.

[PinkFlamingo99]

We do a lot of now-focused stuff but I think a lot of how you interpret the past can affect how you act or feel now, if that makes any sense. We do talk about important things and how I feel about them, like if I feel guilty or sad or whatever, and it makes it hard to have relationships in the present.

[growlycat]

My CBT T started off very here-and-now focused. I think he is trying to adapt to my need for him to understand my past. Mixed results so far. I have/had a long term psychodynamic T who I only talk to briefly once every 2 weeks. His approach saved my life. If you feel you need psychodynamic, go for it.

[Walking Man]

She also does acceptance-commitment therapy, and interpersonal therapy. It seemed like both of these were Behavioral approaches.

[PinkFlamingo99]

Behavioural can also be the thoughts you tell yourself about something that happened in the past, if that makes any sense? I was having a lot of trouble relating to a family member and a lot of it had to do with confusion/guilt/anger over abuse in my past. We also work a lot with acceptance/commitment but talking about it and trying to kind of find ways to reframe the past was part of it. Learning ways to stop constantly blaming myself for everything and understanding what happened to me as a child (understanding properly as an adult) before moving on and finding ways to deal with the relationship now.