Therapists do more harm than good

I myself was terminated and I´ve read so much about other people being terminated and if not, how they experience all kinds of other negative effects from therapy. I´m now talking about therapy like CBT and PDT, therapy that should help the client.

Of course I understand there are some good T:s as well but after reading many studies around negative outcomes of therapy, I begin to believe there are many more bad T:s than there are good.

I think most of them just profit on peoples mental illnesses and hard times in life. They kick you out of therapy when they feel like it and it´s nothing much you can do to it.

They act kind in the beginning and then starts to let the client down, showing how cold they really are and how little they actually care. I´m really not just talking out of my own experience, I´ve read about so many people experiencing this.

You get worse, let down, ignored, not seen as a human being. The T keeps treating clients badly because they can, they just kick one client out and wait for the next one. Refers to the clients problems, moves on and just leave clients hurt, sad and most important - not treated. I think therapy is mostly a scam.

I understand that you've had a bad experience with therapy, and I'm sorry that that was the case for you.
A lot of people on here also share negative experiences in therapy, I've read plenty.
However, I think people are much more likely to join a forum, google support etc if they have had a negative experience, in anything, not just therapy. So I guess a site like this is not going to be representative.

Also, I don't know how the process works in your place of residence, but in the UK, the NHS spends a lot of money on providing therapy for patients with mental health and wellbeing issues. The NHS is cash strapped to say the least, and I really don't believe that money gets spent on treatments that aren't show to work, at least the majority of the time.

I don't think it is a scam. But what I am reading on PC scares the heck out of me. And often saddens me. Many do get worse in therapy. That's a Shame. But I don't believe it's a fair representation

As about them not caring. I don't know. Maybe some don't. I dated two t's and they were awful boyfriends so I don't know how they could be good Ts.

I think my t cares

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I think it happens more than people like to think about - not all the time with every client with every therapist - but often. I think a lot of people just quietly quit and go on with their lives. I do not think it helps as much as they like to say it does. But I do not doubt those who believe they have been helped. I think there are those clients who like to sing the praises of the therapist as well as those who think they suck and then those who fall on a continuum between the two. I mostly think it is a crap shoot as to whether therapy or any therapist will help any person or not.

Yes, I agree that there are some poorly trained therapists out there. But I also know that my own difficulties with therapy would make even the most highly trained therapist, with the best skills, therapeutic empathy and compassion, sigh in exasperation and feel stretched to the limits of his/her abilities. Over time, I've recognized that my difficulty "finding" the right therapist has next to nothing to do with the person sitting across from me. I have to accept that I'm not a good candidate for "change" through the process of psychotherapy. Why? I'm competitive, untrusting, suspicious, arrogant, opinionated, and very very VERY resistant to anyone breaching the walls of my defenses. One therapist very calmly told me that she didn't want to argue with me, she admitted hands down that I knew the clinical literature much better than her. Although that admission made me feel elated for a few minutes, I had to admit to myself that in spite of "knowing" the literature inside and out, it hadn't helped me live a better life yet!

So, I can no longer complain and moan about how useless therapy is because, even though I've heard and read a lot of horror stories about how harmful therapy is, I've also read and heard about many more stories of how therapy helped individuals live better, more productive and happier lives. Like everything in life, the issue of whether or not therapy is harmful or helpful is not a black or white issue. There are many shades of gray in there and when I look at honestly, for myself anyway, I have to admit that I just don't have the right temperament/personality/ability to engage in therapy in a productive and healthy manner. Just my take on things from my own personal perspective.

And that's not to say that there aren't lousy therapists out there. There are, but I can't say my own failures at therapy are entirely the fault of the therapists I've seen . . . . not when I look at the number of therapists I've tried with!

All my terrible therapy experiences occurred when I was misdiagnosed. My reluctance to accept the diagnosis frustrated the hell out of them along with my adverse reaction to SSRIs, which they mistook for personality disorder. I couldn't accept what they were saying because I didn't experience the symptoms and feelings they said I had. They also tried to tell me I was abused and came from a dysfunctional family because my father is Aboriginal. It was all questionable because I changed immediately after starting Zoloft. My parents didn't believe what they were saying. After I discontinued the Zoloft, all the impulse behaviors and suicidal ideation disappeared.

I was traumatized by them and all the assumptions that came with that diagnosis. It felt like I was being tossed out in the trash. None of them listened. I realized the only way I would get better was to stop taking medication and quit therapy. It was one of the best decisions I have made.

Years after that nasty experience I got a proper diagnosis. I decided to try therapy again, because I thought it would help me heal from that ordeal and improve my social skills. My experience has been positive and different from a lot of posts I have read here. I believe it is because I am heard and respected.

Certain types of diagnoses make some therapists run. My misdiagnosis is proof of that. Expectations can also affect therapy.

It would be an interesting study, if it could be done. My guess is that the majority of therapists don't do much good at all, and then there are those that move toward the opposite ends of the spectrum. I've had bad, good, and a waste of time. The bad ones are hardest to overcome. I'm seeing a great one, but the residue and mistrust from the bad ones still manages to surface.

Studies have been done actually, I was just reading an article this morning that referred to about 10% of clients having worse mental health upon termination. I'm sorry for all those who've had horrible experiences. I do agree that just with every other service, disgruntled clients are more apt to review and share than with decent or good ones so what we read is not going to be proportionate.

I think there a lot more people who are like Meh who leave and they do not get measured by any study. They just disappear and therapists blame the clients rather than themselves or therapy. I did not leave a bad review for the bat **** crazy one I saw for only a few months - it was not worth it to me to bother.

I agree. I think there are far too many incompetent therapists out there and far too many clients getting hurt. I think even when a client thinks they have a good relationship it often ends up being enmeshed and unhealthy and damaging. I don't know if there is any research about who leaves reviews or who comes to forums like these, but I don't think it is more negative than positive. I actually see more therapists with NO reviews at all online.

I have seen SO many people come here talking about their "great" therapist and then down the line they get horribly hurt or terminated abruptly or the therapist does some other stupid thing to cause more damage.

Oh and there is the classic "blame the client" for the failure of therapy. Ha! Clients rarely "win" in the therapy "game."

I found therapy harmful, but for different reasons than you discuss. They encouraged me to idolize them, pretending to be on some lofty plane which I wasn't. They performed a shaman act, pretending their improvised vagary was wisdom, their boilerplate platitudes were understanding. They dwelled on my helplessness, encouraging me to interact as if I was the child and they were the parent. They controlled the narrative, like they knew more about my life than I did. And they encouraged me to fixate on my pain, failures and deficiencies. It got worse. When I told my group therapist team they weren't helping, they left me so invalidated that I began to doubt my own sanity.

In truth I was a responsible, substance-free, employed homeowner and save not being a social butterfly, was doing OK. I don't speak for the universe, just my corner of it.

Yeah, I'm a poster child for those clients Puzzlebug speaks of.... in fact, the title of this thread, I've said that very same thing. I'm REALLY trying to work through it, but I definitely learned how damaging a therapist suddenly changing boundaries can be. Then to let me find out on my own.

For three months after that, two sessions per week, there was NO therapy. I shut down. I'm still very hurt by it, and not as trusting, but we are slowly integrating therapy back in again. But....I don't think I will be able to trust her like I did before. I'm constantly scanning the horizon so to speak, anticipating something else changing. Is it healthy? Probably not. But I'm notorious for feeling defeated and giving up in life...and after the amount of time I have in with this therapist, I am trying not to let myself give up too easily. That's my MO. And even though she hurt me, somehow I still have a glimmer of hope.... although I really do miss the connection I felt with her before. I hope I can find it again. Attachment, yeah, I have that.... but still working on connection. I trusted her somehow to be the one person in my life who wouldn't hurt me, and she hurt me considerably.

I agree with stopdog here in that most clients have a Meh experience and move on. Since I'm a T in training it's interesting to see the other side of the issue where the therapists seem to really respect the clients and even fear them a little. The biggest worry among many of my classmates is that clients will find them useless and won't return. It is most definitely not taught (in my university at least) to foster dependence. The guidance I've received is to meet the client were they are at, not to force a diagnosis or treatment plan on them that doesn't fit or that heh want no part of. Granted I work in a facility that treats a specific disorder so my experience is somewhat skewed. A couple of clients where I am have outside Ts who seem to have hero complexes that elicits eye rolls from staff members yet are idolized by patients. Yet these types of experiences are thankfully not the norm.

I´ve done so several times, it was after ealuation meetings but still. I just left after one or two meetings. I´ve experienced a T who almost fell asleep during our first meeting, of course I never went back to her. Another had a glas of water and a pitcher only to herself and nothing for her clients.

In the beginning when I searched for new T:s after being terminated I told them I could write a bit about why I didn´t want to see them anymore. I sent them e-mails explaining why but after seeing some more T:s I just left them a message like "I don´t want to continue our contact" and then like "regards" and nothing more.

It felt good to leave those incompetent and deceitful persons with perhaps at least a little feeling of not knowing what went wrong. Of course noone ever replied back or asked what went wrong. As I´ve experienced this several times, it just shows the true side of most therapists.

Perhaps those with negative experiences are more prone to write about it in forums like PC but when I mentioned studies about negative effects from therapy, I´ve read several big studies written at universities.

I´ve also noticed that you start out thinking you have a very good relationship and then from one meeting to another, you´re in a rupture and the T just plays the unsympathetic role. My T even wrote we had a good relationship and she then totally and cruelly just let me down saying she suddenly wasn´t the right T for me.

She even said she had thought about that earlier on. But she never told me anything like that, she let me believe that we had a good relationship and that she thought I should try to find finances to be able to stay in therapy.

The T always have the power of course, you may perhaps file a complaint but in most cases it will do no good as the T has to do very severe things like sexually offending the client to be met with any kind of consequences to their actions.

Perhaps those with negative experiences are more prone to write about it in forums like PC but when I mentioned studies about negative effects from therapy, I´ve read several big studies written at universities.

I´ve also noticed that you start out thinking you have a very good relationship and then from one meeting to another, you´re in a rupture and the T just plays the unsympathetic role. My T even wrote we had a good relationship and she then totally and cruelly just let me down saying she suddenly wasn´t the right T for me.

She even said she had thought about that earlier on. But she never told me anything like that, she let me believe that we had a good relationship and that she thought I should try to find finances to be able to stay in therapy.

The T always have the power of course, you may perhaps file a complaint but in most cases it will do no good as the T has to do very severe things like sexually offending the client to be met with any kind of consequences to their actions.

Why did this T change boundaries or perhaps you weren´t told why?

I can relate to this a bit because my T in a way also suddenly got the thought about changing boundaries and she let me down by doing so. In my case I sent her e-mails between the sessions and after some time I think she regretted she´d let me. But! She of course never told me, she just ignored the last couple of e-mails I sent to her and she left me feeling stupid when she hadn´t read them although she said she would.

Many T:s just hide behind their role as a T, everything can be excused because of something you as a client can´t understand. That is, they create their own rules and way of acting and then just refers to some standard in how their work should be done.

They don´t treat clients as humans and definately not humans who seek their help.

QUOTE=musinglizzy;4537255]Yeah, I'm a poster child for those clients Puzzlebug speaks of.... in fact, the title of this thread, I've said that very same thing. I'm REALLY trying to work through it, but I definitely learned how damaging a therapist suddenly changing boundaries can be. Then to let me find out on my own.

For three months after that, two sessions per week, there was NO therapy. I shut down. I'm still very hurt by it, and not as trusting, but we are slowly integrating therapy back in again. But....I don't think I will be able to trust her like I did before. I'm constantly scanning the horizon so to speak, anticipating something else changing. Is it healthy? Probably not. But I'm notorious for feeling defeated and giving up in life...and after the amount of time I have in with this therapist, I am trying not to let myself give up too easily. That's my MO. And even though she hurt me, somehow I still have a glimmer of hope.... although I really do miss the connection I felt with her before. I hope I can find it again. Attachment, yeah, I have that.... but still working on connection. I trusted her somehow to be the one person in my life who wouldn't hurt me, and she hurt me considerably.[/QUOTE]

Perhaps it´s a bit different from country to country as well, where I live there are no authorities that really have the power to look in to say a private practise. You can file a complaint of course but nothing is done about it as long as the T hasn´t done anything specifically criminal like having a sexual relationship with a client.

I myself has thought about filing a complaint just to be able to tell my ex T all the suffering she caused me and also to get a little revenge as the complaint would go through a regulatory authority. But of course I wouldn´t get any actual restitution though, my case wouldn´t be seen severe enough.

I don´t think T:s that have worked for some time fear their clients or fear that they´d leave, not to talk against you but it´s how I see it. If they´d respect their clients and if they wanted the best for them, there haven´t been that many complaints about T:s here at PC or elsewhere.

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I wish I knew why, because I'd love to know what NOT to do. I was having a hard time with trust, and my T started making a habit of sitting by me, even holding me while I cried. I learned to appreciate that. Then it was gone after 4 months, as quick as it started....but it took me awhile to realize she wasn't offering that anymore. When I questioned her about it she said that was not her modality, but she knew I was in a very dark place and very alone, and she strayed from what is her modality to help me through that, and to help gain my trust. Well, my trust was definitely damaged by something she did to gain it in the first place. My upset doesn't come from her taking away this action, it's due to the fact she didn't talk to me about it. So, knowing she can up and change things whenever she feels like it leaves me spending more time in therapy watching for something changing or being taken away, rather than therapy itself. Because I know she's capable of changing boundaries without even letting me know. I've been told by numerous people that it seems like, based on my story, she found herself too attached, realized it and backed off. She was going through a rough time herself in her own life, and was pretty vulnerable herself I'm sure. That does make sense, because I can't see a T admitting that to a client. But I also disclosed some displeasure around the same time.... the issue going on in her life was trickling into my therapy a great deal and I was having a hard time with that.

Thinking back to who or what I was back in February when the boundary changed, and looking at myself now, I'm in a far worse place now than I was then. I've found myself regretting that disclosure, I've even found myself regretting letting her touch me at all. I told her had I known it was temporary and she'd be taking it away, I never would have let her do it to begin with.

I'm fighting hard to try to get past this and focus on therapy, she was perfect for me until this happened, we worked very well together, and I feel attached to her, regardless of the hurt and lack of complete trust I feel. I just keep thinking, if I work hard enough at it, I can move beyond this and continue this journey with her. Because really, that's what I want.

I feel such a huge amount of pain and anger coming from your posts when you talk about the difficult process of finding the right therapist and your hurtful feelings following your former therapist terminating you. I truly do feel for you; I can tell that you're confused and totally disillusioned by the entire process. I did want to ask about the water issue. Did you ask for a glass of water and she refused to get you one? That would be really rude and you were smart to leave that one in the dust. If you didn't ask for water though, I'd say that it's important to realize that therapists aren't "hostesses or hosts" that are obligated to offer us food or drink upon entering their "house/office". Sure, some do, but it isn't a given. It's fine to ask and if she refused then she was pretty rude. I do know that some therapists don't encourage eating or drinking during session time (pretty controlling if you ask me ), but they believe that the client and therapist needs to focus on the task at hand and not be distracted. But if you're a therapist sitting and talking all day long, you might need a little water to wet a dry throat so you're not croaking at the client. If you didn't ask and she didn't offer, don't chalk that up to her being rude or stingy. Perhaps there were other things about her interaction with you that turned you off to her style.

The other thing I wanted to mention is that it is a very very rare therapist who will follow up with a phone call or email if a "new" client calls or leaves a message saying they aren't returning. Therapists are trained not to "chase down" clients to see why they aren't returning. It's kind of crass and almost like a lawyer "ambulance chasing" or if they're drumming up business from someone who has indicated they weren't interested. If you request that they call back and they don't, that's not kosher, but it's pretty standard stuff for you not to get a call from a therapist to ask what happened. It is sometimes a little different once you're an established client. If you suddenly call and say you're not returning, many therapists will call to inquire what happened; But that doesn't happen all the time either. Some therapists really put the client in the driver's seat and allow them to lead on the issue of whether or not they want to be in therapy and if there's been a rupture, they give the client space to decide if they want to return and work through it. It can be a painful process if a person takes the therapist's non response as direct feedback as them not giving a hoot for you. It might just be their style and them letting you lead the way. And then of course, there are clients that are so busy and have a waiting list that if we don't return it's no problem for them because they have someone else to fill the spot. The trick is to really try not to take those initial meetings too personally. It does take time to find the right person and to make a solid connection. If you continue to look, I really hope you find someone who is a good match for you. You deserve it!

Great post, Jaybird!

It's my understanding that minor ruptures are normal and can even be helpful in therapy. Major ones, like some mentioned on this thread, are not, of course, but it's like any relationship - there will be some friction and disagreement.

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I'm sorry for your negative experience. I dont' think this forum is an objective place to take a poll of overall experiences. Like a previous poster said, the most vocal users of internet resources are usually there because they have a complaint or need answers for something confusing. People who are feeling great in therapy don't always feel the need to vent about it.

Personally, I've been through 3 personal Ts and 1 couples counselor. Yet, I myself have had mostly positive experiences in therapy. Even with the Ts I didn't "click" with, I wouldn't consider those a negative experience. The first one I had, I left after a couple of sessions. I didn't know the 'etiquette' (if that's a thing) at the time and just didn't feel the need or desire to return or reschedule with him. I decided after a session I just wasn't going back. After about a month called to check on me, and I basically said, "I'm okay, I just don't want to reschedule." I don't think I needed to tell him anything beyond that. The second, I dropped after a few months. Again, I just didn't reschedule but I did tell her I was not schedule another meeting. She never bothered to follow up. I think she was disappointed but understood. We just didn't really click. My current T is good for me. I've been with her for about two years or so.

I work in academia. Because of my job's proximity to a good Psych school, I have met several student counselors over the years, and I have met and made several friends who are practicing counselors at Ph.D. and LPC levels. Another close friend of mine doesn't practice but teaches and keeps up on research in the area. Out of all those people I've only met 1 of whom I would question his ethics and boundaries, but even he took kept his issues in check.

Fact is, Therapists are human. They have flaws and they have their limits. It's true. Like all human beings, you're gonna meet some bad ones and ones who aren't bad but just not good at their job. Others means the best but just have lots more to learn. Like dating, It can be hard to meet a "good one" but when you do, you get the point of it all.

But despite all they have to teach us, even the best therapist in the world can't be everything to us. In the end, we still have to take care of ourselves, and that's a hard thing to do sometimes.

I think most people on this forum tend to gush on and on about their wonderful therapists and the negative posts are fewer.

I guess it depends on what you focus on though.

The problem with this as I see it is that those people do not explain this is what they are doing (if it even is what they are doing - I find people on this site twist themselves all around to find in favor of the therapist).