[ShrinkPatient]

I've been reading through the threads. I should have stopped a bit ago but I didnt....
Now, I have totally triggered myself. Some of you write so beautifully and your pain is so deep and raw and I feel like I'm literally experiencing it with you. I'm terribly fearful that my T will split or something horrible will happen I won't be able to reach out to her.
I've also shared so many of your experiences and when I read your words I go right back there. A bit ago, I read a post where the writer was expressing her distress and panic. I heard her scream that she so wanted to cut right now. My feelings about her post were so intense that for a moment, I wanted to cut to.
Also, there have been a couple things I haven't talked to my T about even though I know she'd really want me to. Some of you are so brave and when you're writing about sharing those things, I totally start this internal freak out. I don't know if it's guilt from hiding it or anxiety from anticipating some future conversation.
Sometimes I let myself get so jealous over certain aspects of the relationships some of you have with your T. I just start thinking "if only." My T and I have a good relationship but you know, some of our interactions with our Ts do vary. I know I should just be grateful. If you only knew all my at has had to put up with.
Overall, I really do feel better reading what everyone shares but when I hang on a little too long like tonight, it reminds me how far I have to go. It reminds what I have to lose.
(Ju st thinking about the day that I will never hear my Ts voice or see her face or....feel her hug, my heart starts beating out of my chest! Total panic!)
So, I guess that's it... all I wanted to write. I know we all do this to ourselves. Thanks for reminding me I'm not alone, I'm not the only one!

[CANDC]

I am sorry you found triggers in PC that were not marked with the trigger icon. Everyone using triggering language should use the trigger icon - it is a shame that some do not and innocent people like you are upset. If you notice posts with triggering language that are not marked and want to prevent others from getting hurt, just click the triangle lower left of the post and report the need for a trigger icon. I usually copy and paste the address of the post, but I don't think that is necessary.

There is an article today in Psych Central that talks about self injury and how to cope with it. Here is link if you feel it will help now or in the future.
Self-Harm: The Myths & the Facts | Embracing Balance

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.

I also worry that my T will split and I think this has been triggered by reading some people's experiences.

[CANDC]

I try to give myself breaks where I go offline. Have something to eat and maybe take a nap. When I start to feel I have a fuzzy mind, I take a break from being online.