[rep97]

Ok I have a weird traumatic incident happen to me. I basically talked about sexual incidents in graphic manner in front of my parents and psychiatrist and it scarred me so bad I have panic attacks and emotional flashbacks over it and am perpetually bored with life and everything in it.

Now I tried a therapist that was expert in brainspotting(a type of emdr therapy) and she kept saying don't talk about your trauma if you don't want to. Now that really discouraged me and I didn't talk. Meanwhile all I wana talk about is my trauma in a safe environment to get over it.

My question is being a male myself would I find a female therapist who would be comfortable in exploring my trauma with me so I could talk about it in an environment that is safe and non-judgemental. The thing is the least amount of judgement or uncomfort I sense I get uncomfortable myself and it doesn't solve anything.

Now I am a fan of prolonged exposure therapy where you are exposed to the trauma repeatedly to get over it, of course in a safe enivronment and a non-judgementa environment. So if I contact a therapist what questions do I need to ask and what kind of therapist do I contact to finally reach out and begin the journey towards healing. I have suffered since 2011 and I think my condition is really hindering me in every way possible so much so that I can't work or study. So what questions do I ask a therapist if I contact her to make sure she does prolonged exposure therapy with me and I am exposed to the traumatic incident repeatedly?

p.s. I am looking for a female therapist because with male therapist I don't feel comfortable and I think they are judging me no matter how non-judgemental they are.

Just talking about it isn't all is about. I've said words that I've built around it in my head for years. But there were no feelings attached. That comes with time. When it wants. Not when I wanted.

[aetheorist]

If you are requiring EMDR and/or Exposure Therapy specifically, then as you call around I would confirm the therapist is trained and willing to use those approaches specifically, before scheduling. Otherwise you may want to ask a potential therapist if she is "trauma-informed" in her approach. Nothing wrong with preferring a female clinician. Best of luck!

My therapist would not do that kind of trauma exposure as repeated replaying of trauma events typically just causes retraumatization. Rather, what he did was work on trauma only as it was impacting my current life. We only explored specific events in that context and only in the amount of depth needed to understand how it was impacting me currently. Just talking about the trauma over and over is not was does the healing. You have to explore with specific purpose in mind.