[laxer12]

Have you ever asked your T about what they think your biggest issues/challenges are and what they think is the most important to work on? Did they give you their opinion?

I'm just wondering because my T let's me guide the the conversation, which I like, but I'm wondering if she sees something I don't that would be helpful for us to work on/talk about. I have my own list of a couple big challenges I still have (all of which we have touched on, some more than others, over the past 9 months) but I want to know what she thinks. I'm just not sure if she'll actually tell me...

[Chummy]

I haven't. We have talked about those things, but I can't think of when I've ever asked her for her opinion. I almost never ask my T questions.
I let my T guide the session. But now my T wants me to start doing that.

I don't know if T's give their own opinion, but you can tell her about the list and she will probably talk with you about it.

We had those kinds of discussions regularly. It wasn't something I had to ask him about (and wasn't particularly a mystery to me anyway.)

[Parva]

First, your desire for this kind of input seems totally common. I'm always looking for my T insights, observations, diagnoses, etc...I need her to see me and care enough to really think about what I need, and her sharing it with me is a huge validation. And she won't/can't share her insights, it's really hard, but we work through it together.

Second, it can be like pulling teeth to get T to give your their concrete opinions. Part of that is because they actually don't have all the answers; they only see a fraction of what's going on with you. Plus, all of us patients are so incredibly complex and dynamic that simple observations aren't all that meaningful. If you're in deeper PT, you're probably changing literally on a daily basis. So she might have some thoughts, but probably not the 'answers'.

Third, it can be hard for a patient to accept what the T says, whereas, if we figure it out as part of the process, it can have tremendous meaning. There is a huge risk for both the T and patient in their spitting out their observations.

I assume that your T sees you and cares about you. Meaning that she's not simply sitting idly by while you do all the work. She's probably completely invested in the process. Having said all this, talking to your T directly about this - whether you get the answer you're looking for or not - can be a very beneficial thing. Takes a lot of courage, but you can do it!

[Leah123]

No, I haven't. I think it's important to rely on my own priorities and sense of what's not working to guide the direction of my therapy. It's very odd to imagine that someone else might have a better handle on my challenges than I did, doesn't make sense to me.

I'm sure you can ask her though, I don't imagine it would be a challenging question for a therapist in any way. The worst she could do as far as I can guess would be to turn the question around.

[stopdog]

No - I don't care what the woman thinks it. At first, she did try - but since the things she wanted changed (like not being what she deemed was unattached - she kept trying to attach me) were not things that bothered me nor would she explain how it fit into why I said I was seeing her, I made her quit talking about it.

[laxer12]

Originally Posted by Parva

First, your desire for this kind of input seems totally common. I'm always looking for my T insights, observations, diagnoses, etc...I need her to see me and care enough to really think about what I need, and her sharing it with me is a huge validation. And she won't/can't share her insights, it's really hard, but we work through it together.

Second, it can be like pulling teeth to get T to give your their concrete opinions. Part of that is because they actually don't have all the answers; they only see a fraction of what's going on with you. Plus, all of us patients are so incredibly complex and dynamic that simple observations aren't all that meaningful. If you're in deeper PT, you're probably changing literally on a daily basis. So she might have some thoughts, but probably not the 'answers'.

Third, it can be hard for a patient to accept what the T says, whereas, if we figure it out as part of the process, it can have tremendous meaning. There is a huge risk for both the T and patient in their spitting out their observations.

I assume that your T sees you and cares about you. Meaning that she's not simply sitting idly by while you do all the work. She's probably completely invested in the process. Having said all this, talking to your T directly about this - whether you get the answer you're looking for or not - can be a very beneficial thing. Takes a lot of courage, but you can do it!

Yeah, that makes sense and we have talked about some of this stuff before. I once asked her what she thought of me as a person which led to an interesting discussion. She actually did tell me what she thinks but she made it clear that she only sees me in the therapy setting so she can only go based of those experiences. She told me that she didn't want to answer that question but did because she didn't want to leave me feeling empty and without an answer. I'm just not sure if she would also answer this one. I know she'll turn it back on me regardless.

[PinkFlamingo99]

The current one says her priority is my safety. I guess that makes sense.

[Sawyerr]

This thread got me thinking about asking her for her opinion about different things. I never do. She's the most important person in my life right now but I don't really care what she thinks about stuff in my life. Maybe asking for her opinion would for me mean, I'd be dependend on her. I don't think I am.

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[Cinnamon_Stick]

I always want my T's input. That is the reason I am in therapy. To talk about what is going on and to get my T's input about how I should handle situations, what I should do and ways to cope with certain situations or when things get bad.