[AnxiousGirl]

I'm 20 and I've been seeing a therapist for over a year for anxiety. I haven't seen her for 2 weeks and won't for another 2 weeks. I recently started cutting my calorie intake to 1200 a day and barely reaching that, so I eat about 800-950 to 1000 most. Also I've been VERY stressed with school and everything so my appetite is completely gone. I've already lost 5 pounds which is crazy. I do look thinner but ill get more thin within the next 2 weeks. I'm afraid of what my therapist might say because she assumes and is worried about my eating habits (based on past experiences). Part of cutting calories it to lose weight but if I tell her that shell get very worried.

Any ideas? What should I tell her?

[musinglizzy]

I lose weight here and there and my T will always mention it. I wear more form fitting things anywhere else, but in therapy, I usually wear bigger, baggy shirts to cover up my body. I LOVE when the weather is such that I can live in hoodies, because I feel so safe in them

Just be honest. T's kind of need to know these things.

[BayBrony]

Originally Posted by AnxiousGirl

I'm 20 and I've been seeing a therapist for over a year for anxiety. I haven't seen her for 2 weeks and won't for another 2 weeks. I recently started cutting my calorie intake to 1200 a day and barely reaching that, so I eat about 800-950 to 1000 most. Also I've been VERY stressed with school and everything so my appetite is completely gone. I've already lost 5 pounds which is crazy. I do look thinner but ill get more thin within the next 2 weeks. I'm afraid of what my therapist might say because she assumes and is worried about my eating habits (based on past experiences). Part of cutting calories it to lose weight but if I tell her that shell get very worried.

Any ideas? What should I tell her?

Do you have an eating disorder?
If you do then you know this is dangerous territory and you need to tell the truth to your T

[LonesomeTonight]

Why did you decide to cut your calorie intake? I agree that you need to be honest with your T.

[AnxiousGirl]

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

Why did you decide to cut your calorie intake? I agree that you need to be honest with your T.

I wanted to lose a bit of weight thats why!

[JaneTennison1]

Originally Posted by AnxiousGirl

I wanted to lose a bit of weight thats why!

You said part of it was to lose weight. What's the other part? Maybe something you could discuss with T?

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by JaneTennison1

You said part of it was to lose weight. What's the other part? Maybe something you could discuss with T?

Yes, this was what I was wondering about!

[atisketatasket]

I second (or third, or fourth) the just be honest. I don't know if you're aware of it, but you're making it sound like it's not just about losing weight.

I lost 20 lbs. my first month of therapy due to an unrelated medical condition. She never said anything, but I noticed her noticing, even though she had no cause to think this was a concern. So with your history, yes, your therapist will notice, and you should tell her all your reasons.

[Chummy]

You can be honest about it to your T. You should be carefull with cutting calories. Do you really need to lose some weight or do you think that you need to? Anything less than 1200 calories a day is too less. You also mentioned that you're almost no apetite due stress, that's also something you should tell your T.

Though I'm also trying to lose weight. I've lost a few pounds in the last 1-2 months, by healthy eating and excersize. It doesn't show yet, for that I need to lose more weight. I haven't told my T (yet), but she knows I find myself too fat.

Could there be a tiny wish inside that your therapist would notice the weight loss? I say this because five or ten pounds usually isn't that noticeable on people--unless a person is seriously underweight. If you're thinking a lot about your therapist's possible reaction to your behavior (losing weight), it's probably because you imagine or think about how she would react. Sometimes when we can't say the words about how we feel inside, we do it without words through our behavior. Depriving ourselves of food (even if we're overweight or of normal weight) is sometimes a way of punishing ourselves or rebelling against what's happening in therapy. Perhaps you're having some feelings you aren't able to express verbally and you're trying to show your therapist through this means. I agree with others, I'd bring this need to "lose weight" up in therapy and I'd also suggest talking to her about your concern what her reaction would be--it can probably be a pretty powerful discussion between the two of you.

[ruh roh]

Therapy is for whatever you want it to be for. If it's not a concern to you, don't bring it up. If it is, then say something. Just think about the overall benefit of talking vs not talking about it.

You can easily waste years not doing anything if you make it about what the therapist will or won't do/say and not your own needs. When I was in my 20's I did the stupidest thing of all in anticipation of a therapist's questions. I won't share it here, but it caused me years of unnecessary pain. Better to just be up front with yourself, and (if you want to do something about it) your therapist.

[BayBrony]

Originally Posted by ruh roh

Therapy is for whatever you want it to be for. If it's not a concern to you, don't bring it up. If it is, then say something. Just think about the overall benefit of talking vs not talking about it.

You can easily waste years not doing anything if you make it about what the therapist will or won't do/say and not your own needs. When I was in my 20's I did the stupidest thing of all in anticipation of a therapist's questions. I won't share it here, but it caused me years of unnecessary pain. Better to just be up front with yourself, and (if you want to do something about it) your therapist.

Unless she has an eating disorder . I say from experience that if you have an eating disorder and you are doing anything abnormal regarding eating you will NOT want to talk to your T about it. But you need to. This is how you prevent recovery lapses from becoming full on relapse. You'll never want to do it but you need to. Anorexia has the highest mortality rate of any mental illness. If you are restricting calories and have a history of eds, you really need to tell your t

[ruh roh]

I'm quite familiar with eating disorders (even though she hasn't said that's what this is). It's still up to her. That's all I'm saying. Even with people telling her to do it, she makes the decision. When you're young, I think there's a tendency to think the world is still the same as when you're a minor, that people will step in and do something, but at some point you realize you have to be the one to do it.

[divine1966]

Are you overweight and have legitimate reason to cut calories? Or is it something you do not need to be doing? Do talk to t about it if it concerns you

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[AnxiousGirl]

Originally Posted by divine1966

Are you overweight and have legitimate reason to cut calories? Or is it something you do not need to be doing? Do talk to t about it if it concerns you

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

My BMI is perfect for my heigh, gender, and weight. I just have really low confidence and figure that if I lose weight that will change.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by AnxiousGirl

My BMI is perfect for my heigh, gender, and weight. I just have really low confidence and figure that if I lose weight that will change.

In this context you do need to talk to your t. I think being young college student your calories intake is too low. And being thin doesn't equate happiness so I believe you got to address it

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Cinnamon_Stick]

Your T can't help you unless you tell her what is going on. I had to learn that years ago the hard way.

[AnxiousGirl]

Originally Posted by Cinnamon_Stick

Your T can't help you unless you tell her what is going on. I had to learn that years ago the hard way.

I dont really like the fact of someone knowing how I really feel. That's why therapy has been really hard for me. The entire year I've been going I've only been scratching the surface. It takes a while for me to open up completely.

[Parva]

Originally Posted by musinglizzy

I lose weight here and there and my T will always mention it. I wear more form fitting things anywhere else, but in therapy, I usually wear bigger, baggy shirts to cover up my body. I LOVE when the weather is such that I can live in hoodies, because I feel so safe in them

Sorry to hijack, but hoodies are my go-to therapy apparel. I can hide in the things when I need. I have a couple of gigantic ones that I save just for those days when I know it's going to suck...

[Chummy]

Originally Posted by AnxiousGirl

My BMI is perfect for my heigh, gender, and weight. I just have really low confidence and figure that if I lose weight that will change.

I have thought that for years, if I'll be skinny then things will change. But now I know that won't happen. I've talked about this with my T. If I'll be slim, I'll still not like myself. I might worry less about my weight. If I'm slim I won't have to worry that someone might call me fat. But I'll still have a low self-esteem. I won't have a lot more confidence if I have lost the weight.

[Chummy]

Originally Posted by AnxiousGirl

I dont really like the fact of someone knowing how I really feel. That's why therapy has been really hard for me. The entire year I've been going I've only been scratching the surface. It takes a while for me to open up completely.

I was like this for years. The first 5 years I had therapy, I was too scared to tell how I really feel. Some of that had to do because my previous T's weren't really good. But I also didn't like to tell everything to a stranger. Only with my current T I've been ably to open up more. I still have trouble to tell everything and to tell all my feelings. I often keep things to myself for months until I finally tell T.

Maybe you don't trust your T enough? I don't trust my T 100%. With a lot of things I trust her, but some things I'm afraid to tell her because I'm not 100% sure she would react good. Even though she probably will.

Have you told her this? It's hard to get ''better'' if you don't talk about everthing that's bothering you or holds you back. I know this, I experienced this, but even while I know this it's still hard for me to talk about everything.

[atisketatasket]

Originally Posted by AnxiousGirl

My BMI is perfect for my heigh, gender, and weight. I just have really low confidence and figure that if I lose weight that will change.

I think the confidence issue is not going to be solved by losing weight. You sound healthy as is.

Also...BMI is one of the most damaging things ever. It's simply no guide to whether someone is healthy or fit. For instance, I do triathlons. According to my BMI, I'm on the edge of obesity, because BMI does not distinguish between fat and muscle (which weighs more than fat), and I am very muscular. To judge your health by that score isn't giving you the whole picture. How do you feel is the question - and right now you need to gain confidence, and from what you've posted here and elsewhere, it's not your weight.

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[Lauliza]

If you have an eating disorder than yes you should tell your T and please don't try to hide it in baggy clothing. She needs to know these thing if she is to be of help to you.