Lost trust in my psychiatrist

My pdoc is working a 4 day week because she has a 5 month old baby. She also is medical director of the psych clinic I go to. She used to be my only therapist until she went out on leave and left me in the hands of a very capable psychologist whom I like very much.

My problem is trust and always has been to some extent. We sit there and pour out all our miserable feelings and failings and faults, etc. and I feel shame about all of it.

Well my pdoc told me she would not be doing any more therapy work at all when she returned from leave and would only be seeing people for medication visits.

So, yesterday I get a call from the front desk person who says she needs to reschedule a med. visit with my pdoc. I said wow she is busy with all these med. visits, and the girl tells me "She has also been doing therapy visits". Right away the red flag came up of anger, fear and distrust. I was very hurt.

I wrote my pdoc a nasty little note asking her about it and now I wish I could take it back! I did write and apologize but still have not heard from her. I suppose she could be out of the office.

Do you think I have ruined any relationship with the pdoc? I do see the psychologist for therapy now and like her a lot, but now worried about the whole issue of trusting. Maybe I should just quit therapy altogether and get my help from the Lord, my Bible Study group, and my close Christian friends plus my husband who is very supportive and level-headed (more than I am obviously).

Very discouraged,
Olivia

Oh my God I would also be so upset! The therapist should understand the intensity of your reaction. I mean the relationship I have with my therapist is the most intimate one, in many ways, that I have ever experienced. it is more intimate than sex I think. It would devastate me that i would not have heard back from them but what I find is that often there turns out to be really valid reason for the delay ... the message was not received or something and all my turmoil and heartbreak was for nothing.

That does sound upsetting, but please make sure you get all the facts before you get really, really upset. You have to know the whole situation-- often the reception where I go to therapy gets facts misconstrued. As far as the note, I don't think you ruined the relationship.... pdocs and therapists are used to our honesty, which can sometimes come out in the form of anger or hostility... I'm sure it's ok... just find out the facts.

Thanks for your replies. Pinksoil, I already sent her an email and she usually replies.. I admit I was so upset from the phone call yesterday I had a drink and some of the things I said would never say otherwise. I wrote back this morning and apologized, admitting that I could be very wrong and I would like to discuss this with her at my next appointment of June 1.

I think she may be out of the office. I will be seeing my psychologist tomorrow however and will talk with her. Although my Pdoc is my psychologist's boss so don't know how that will go!

I know some personal things about my pdoc which I know she is surprised about. She keeps herself very private; didn't want anyone to know the baby's name, even when she returned to work. She did show me a picture of her baby when I asked. I hope I haven't ruined things between us. Thanks for your input on this.

Olivia

hey. it might be that she is seeing a few clients trying to finish things up with them... you said that you clicked well with the person you saw once she went and that you are continuing to work with her. it might be that she had some clients who were in a very vulnerable place and so it is taking some time for her to finish up with them / find them someone else to see.

i really do understand the hurts... especially as i too would have got the impression that she wasn't seeing ANYONE for therapy anymore...

That would freak me out too. Except, I always freak out and then a m sorry later. Get the details first...Try not to feel bad about your initial reaction. If she is any kind of good T she will of course understand. Is it possible the receptionist is wrong??? Maybe she is still in the "weaning" process with these other clients. Could it be possible she hasnt found new T's for them? I would just try not to obsess about it until youspeak to her. I know its easier said than done. I would be hurt too.

I agree with the others that the receptionist might not be relaying the whole story. Your pdoc should not take what you said personally because she is a professional. I can understand why you were upset and I think that you are entitled to an explanation if she is seeing other patients. She might have a valid explanation.

Olivia, I think it will be okay. I imagine she meant she won't be doing any new-start therapy visits but probably has to "finish" with a few people she didn't get situated with another therapist before her leave? Since people are in all different places in their therapy, there were bound to be a few that were too close to the end or only doing short-term therapy or something who weren't good candidates for her to move to someone else?