[indigo11]

My therapist is going on vacation in August. I have one more meeting with him and I am trying everything to not be angry at him for "leaving". I'm not angry at him, at all actually. I know he is coming back, I know that therapists need vacations just like any other human, etc. I've known about this vacation for a few months at least. The closer it gets the more distant I get in my meetings (except for last Monday when I talked about what seemed to be a million different things) and then seem to want to "lash out" in emails, which I'm trying really hard not to do. I know others deal with this, especially those who have abandonment issues. But for some reason it is more difficult this time. He said I can email him while he is gone, but chances are I actually won't. I over analyze everything, which doesn't help anything at the moment. Others have mentioned "therapy homework" which hasn't been ever brought up (except practicing things that we have talked about, so I guess that is in a way). I wish I could bring this up, but for some reason struggle to, because he will be gone all of August. First time having a therapist that isn't just gone for a week - and I've been in therapy on and off for 22 years.

[Perna]

It helped me to acknowledge that I was angry at my therapist for going away and stop using energy to try to figure it out, make it betters, etc., just let it be; accept it as the base starting point. Then I figure out 1-2 projects to do: one for while my therapist is away and one for something that's going on in like October that I want to work on getting ready for. I often kept a daily journal for the 3-6+ weeks my therapist was going to be away or I would hyper-focus and decide I had to pick one word for each day or one sentence describing the day or describing what I had learned that day, etc. and I'd take a piece of lined paper and write the dates down the side for the purpose. Or, if I had a ritual for therapy days, I would continue it for the time period my therapist was not there, kind of like a prisoner marking off days in their cell I use to take a handful of large life savers in the morning of my therapy day and try to make them last until I got home again late in the evening (my drive was long to/from). I would do that when my therapist was away, too, as a kind of continuity thing. A couple of times I did not tell work that my therapist was away and would take off the afternoon as if I were going to therapy. Think of a project to connect to your therapist like that? Maybe write him an email only on your therapy day to tell him briefly how/what you are doing?

Do you like Halloween or take classes in college or have a birthday or vacation or anything coming up you can focus on and work toward that happens after your therapist gets back? Being able to imagine yourself psychologically beyond the period he'll be away has helped me. I used it too when we terminated; I had joined a group, was moving house, going on a European vacation, etc., had a lot going on after termination so I could help myself not get stuck in the ending.

I'm sorry to hear that your T has not prepared you for his absence. A good T would have helped make plans for you by either giving you a referral in his absence or suggesting other options to serve as some relief for whatever issues you are dealing with. Your T is lacking consideration for your condition by leaving you for a month without alternatives.

[Leah123]

Originally Posted by Mistysea

I'm sorry to hear that your T has not prepared you for his absence. A good T would have helped make plans for you by either giving you a referral in his absence or suggesting other options to serve as some relief for whatever issues you are dealing with. Your T is lacking consideration for your condition by leaving you for a month without alternatives.

"He said I can email him while he is gone, but chances are I actually won't. I over analyze everything, which doesn't help anything at the moment. Others have mentioned "therapy homework" which hasn't been ever brought up (except practicing things that we have talked about, so I guess that is in a way)."

Sounds like there has been some plan. If the OP wants a referral in addition, they can ask, but not all clients will be interested in or need to see another T, and I wouldn't expect a therapist to think every client would want or need one, depending on the situation.

[AllHeart]

Been there, done that! Once I decided that I needed this woman (my T) to help keep me sane, I allowed myself to email her "x" amount of times during her vacations. She always responded and sometimes even emailed me first.

I also figured she wouldn't have offered to let me email her if she really didn't want me too, so the same should hold true for you. Your T is welcoming your emails so he wants to support you while he away. If sending him emails will help you, I vote you go for it!

[indigo11]

3 more weeks. Not doing ok. Didnt think it would be this difficult just after 1 week. Last 2 days have been the worst.

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I understand how hard it is and i am sorry.
My t disappeared for a couple months recently due to family issues.
It was very hard.
Try to keep busy... I took a lot of naps and read a lot of books.

[indigo11]

Thank you. It's starting to get easier. 2 more weeks though, seems like such a long time. It's weird, I've missed meetings with him for up to 3-4 weeks, but when he is gone... come back already!

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[bounceback]

My T is going out of the country for a month and then only have 5 more weeks left with her before I move. It truly sucks even though I know she needs to regroup and stuff. Her timing is just incredibly bad. Also August is an incredibly bad month for me. August 24 is my mom's birthday. August 17th is my dad's birthday. August 5 I lost my cat.

[AnxiousGirl]

I haven't seen my T for a month and my session is next week. I felt the same exact way, I was scared that I wasn't able to handle her being gone and that I needed the weekly appointments. However, after like 3-4 days I sort of said to myself that this is a break for me too. For a whole month I won't be stressing about going to the appointments and worrying about what topic will be discussed. It felt like my own little vacation. I have therapy homework too but I haven't even opened it because I'm currently in exams so I have that to study which has been keeping me busy. Go out with friends, that helped me the MOST. Time flies and the next thing you know your T is back and you're dreading your session ( like me right now ) Goodluck!