[ThingWithFeathers]

Just curiously asking what people think and feel about Ts showing emotion in session.

I'm okay with it, it helps me feel understood and connected. Sometimes, when my t is showing deep compassion and empathy, her body language and facial expressions show certain emotions (sadness, anger, disgust, joy etc.) other times she involuntarily shows emotion, for example tearing up a little.

I find that I like her sharing her emotions with me, but I am interested in other points of view too.

[stopdog]

I don't think it is necessary for me to have the woman do so. I prefer she refrain. I look at it as though I pay the woman to stay back. For me that would include not assaulting me with her emotions. I see no point in me having to deal with them. Plus, in all honesty, I don't have much if anything that would create any emotions in the woman to begin with- so the times she has reacted in some over the top way, it just seemed like she was acting.

When T1 teared up in session I felt understood and valued and it was a very healing experience. I don't need to feel that depth of emotional connection any more so it (usually) doesn't bother me that T2 isn't that way. I do see the value of it for people who have not previously had their feelings validated in that way.

[NowhereUSA]

I expect him to demonstrate normal emotion if a bit subdued since it's about me. If I had a T that regularly teared up I'd be really uncomfortable.

[Chummy]

I don't think my T shows much emotion in my sessions. She does have this look on her face that she listens, is interested in what I tell her, shows compassion. And she laughs/smiles sometimes. But I haven't seen her sad or mad or something like that. Though when I really cry or tell her something really hard, I don't look at her face.
I wish she would show some emotions. Not too much, just a little bit. It would mean to me that she really cares. Now I feel so alone in my sadness and anger. Like no one understand how much some things has hurt me. My parents don't understand that some things still bother me so much and why I'm still angry at a certain person for the things he did. It feels so lonely.

[divine1966]

T shows emotions. Not o we the top crying or anything but she demonstrates emotions. I think it is just human. If I tell her I got an award for something she was genuinely happy and she was visibly sad when my got ill. I would be concerns if she showed no emotions. It's not human. Over the top reaction though like hysterically crying would make me uncomfortable

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[lunatic soul]

He can't hide his emotions and it's okay, i see he is not a stone.

I'm sure my T shows emotions with other clients, when they say something that affects him positively or negatively. He is very human. I would not think it a bad thing, I think.

[Pennster]

My therapist is a crier. He often gets very teary when I am crying. I like it- his whole mode of working is based on compassion, so it's just in line with him feeling with me, and helping me to feel more compassionately toward myself. His way of working really suits me, though. I could see how some people might not be comfortable with all the tears.

[Sarah1985]

I wish my therapist would show more emotions. She's not a stone, but It's hard when I'm crying and she's just staring at me... It would help me feel more connected to her.

[atisketatasket]

Well, I like it when they get my sense of humor, which believe me not everyone does, and laugh. So that's an emotion.

I am not usually looking at them when I say something that might elicit sadness or tears, but I know one often looks sad and a little stunned after such a conversation, and the other once seemed to have tears in her eyes but didn't shed them. I don't know how I would have felt if she'd actually cried.

I think so long as they keep the focus on the client, emotional expression is OK.

[Cinnamon_Stick]

My T has a very expressive face. I can see how she is feeling without having to ask her. She has shed some tears and I really like that she shows emotion. I feel more connected to her and it shows she really cares. I talked to her about this and she said its a gift that she can share emotions with me as I do with her. I agree that its a special gift even though I dont want her to cry because of me.

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

Well, I like it when they get my sense of humor, which believe me not everyone does, and laugh. So that's an emotion.

Oh yes, that's true - I do appreciate the fact that my T has a similar sense of humour to me. It's pretty important, it makes me feel that he gets me.

[junkDNA]

my T doesn't really show his emotions to me but sometimes he will express them with words

[precaryous]

My T is very genuine with her emotions. She's not over the top with it....she is angry for me when things go awry...that feels validating and it helps me express my anger.
I have seen her sad. I have seen her face become all welcoming and reassuring when I started to talk about some fears. Lately, her voice has seemed sincerely concerned and comforting when we were talking about something difficult and I was in a bad place. My T showing emotion feels very helpful to me and it helps us connect.

[Tearinyourhand]

T shows emotion. I find it useful.

[skeksi]

I like it when T shows he's feeling a little bit of what I'm feeling--it shows he's "with me." When I first started seeing him I was very numb and having him model emotions has been really helpful, so sometimes I need him to show emotion so I can, too.

[ejayy78]

My T shows her emotions and I don't mind it since I have a hard enough time trying to figure out what I feel anyway. A couple weeks ago I was talking about how a family member really showed care in my life and she teared up. I guess I gave her a funny look because she had to explain that she was just happy for me...joyful tears or something like that. I'm glad she's not afraid to show how she's feeling and one day I hope to be able to show her an emotion other than scared, because I feel like that's what she usually gets from me

[Sawyerr]

For me, showing emotions makes her human. It also helps me to show them (I'm more stone-like).

[LonesomeTonight]

It's weird--I never saw my T get emotional in response to me until 6-8 months ago, and I've been seeing her for 4 years. Since that time, I've seen her tear up maybe 10 times in response to things I was talking about. It's almost as if something I said really connected with her, like she suddenly understood what I was going through, or maybe it was the fact that I was hit with a major depressive episode about that time. I feel touched because it shows she really cares (even though she'd never actually admit it!)

Marriage counselor has never teared up that I'm aware of...though there have been a couple times when I was really upset that he took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes, so maybe he was trying to conceal the fact that he was tearing up? He's a very sensitive person, and I can tell he's feeling emotion at times regarding what I'm saying based on his expression, his eyes, and his voice when he responds to me. It's clear that he cares, and I appreciate that (he recently shared that verbally, too). MC (and T to some extent) also get my humor, and I like when I can really make them laugh (like a genuine laugh).

I don't think I could deal with a T who was a completely emotionless, blank slate.

I find it really helpful when my T shows her emotions, whether its sad or mad or frustrated or whatever. It makes her more real, and helps me see that it is ok to share my own feelings.
My first T was pretty much a blank slate and it made me crazy at times. Even when i could tell she was CLEARLY mad or upset,she would deny it. Like i was blind or stupid?

[nottrustin]

She shows basic happiness and sadness however, she doesn't cry or anything like that. The reason I don't cry is because I always feel sad and helpless when others are crying. Therefore, I don't cry as I don't want to cause that discomfort for others. So if T were to cry it would be awkward. There was once that she had a tear in her eye when I was discussing something painful and I actually shed a couple of tears. I was okay with it however, more than that would have been uncomfortable for me.

[Rive.]

I guess it depends in which context and how it is done. I mean, they are human after all and i am not interacting with a robot or a piece of furniture, so some emotion is bound to come out.

That being said, if they went into hysterics or cried at the drop of a hat (for example), that would be weird and off-putting (meaning exaggeration or ‘faking’). I can also recognise fake emotion and a T exhibiting that would lead to an immediate loss of trust.

I also couldn't work with a blank-faced T. Might as well talk to the walls then..

[pmbm]

My therapists shows emotions, and I often think that she is trying to model expressing emotions for me. I was crying hard one day about a past therapist who was abusive, and I swear I saw her wipe away a tear. Our session ended pretty soon after that and the next session, I asked her about it. She asked me why I needed to know and I couldn't come up with a reason, so she would not answer me. I know some people would be really mad about that, but it just made me giggle because she would file that reaction under crossing boundaries probably, and I really appreciate her strict boundaries but sometimes they Crack me up. I wonder if she has ever thought about the fact that a lot of the information she guards in the name of boundaries is available on Google, and of course, I Googled her before choosing her to be my therapist.

[AllHeart]

I appreciate my T showing her emotions. They always feel genuine, and make me feel much more connected to her. Though the first time I made T cry due to my pathetic story from childhood, I felt really bad about it for quite a while. Now, I understand and appreciate her tears (and everything else).