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Member
Member Since Jul 2015
Location: CA
Posts: 294
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#1
Quite frankly, at this point, I'm tired of dealing with psychologists/psychiatrists.
In my experience, they - psychiatrists - either just want to give you medication right away or - with psychologists - after quite a few sessions already paid for in hard money, it turns out they can't help you due to not having the right qualifications or they don't have time for regular enough appointments or I just don't mesh well with them, not enough trust, etc. I've wasted so much time and money on trying to find a therapist or whatever expert I may need to solve my problems. I am also skeptical about psychotherapy being efficient enough especially at the price it comes at for one hour of talking. It's a really really inefficient use of time. Surely there are other options? I am otherwise not against certain forms of psychotherapy but under such conditions I can't do much with it. I also cannot do much with the forms of therapy that are aimed at building some emotional connection with the therapist. Or the forms that require free association, I am hopeless at that sort of stuff. CBT is not bad but I think I need more than CBT, unfortunately. Also, my own views on medication is - with the exception of people whose brains have imbalances of genetic origin - that it's only good temporarily while you find the root cause of your issues and then you can modify your own mindsets, attitudes, behavioural strategies and/or your environment. So medication is completely out of the question for me, though considering the severity of my issues, maybe I'm delusional about my ability to avoid it forever. Though I'm sure they are nowhere near as severe as some other people's on these boards. Not yet anyway. So I am still hoping to avoid it... I don't know about the future though, will I get worse or better. I think what I'd like is someone who has intuitive understanding of people who I can talk to regularly enough, a few hours a week at the minimum, and not for much money. I don't know if that is enough to solve my problems of course but it would be nice to have this for a start. Anything like that available? |
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![]() BudFox, CantExplain, Cinnamon_Stick
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#2
Social workers might be less costly than psychologists.
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![]() tiger8
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Sep 2013
Location: Pugare
Posts: 1,923
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#3
Maybe give online counseling a try? There are sites like this one betterhelp.com and others. They have pay by month plans which are less than normal therapy and plans with unlimited emailing and some limited number of phone sessions a week. Icing on the cake, since they're online emotional attachment seems more unlikely.
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![]() tiger8
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Member
Member Since Jul 2015
Location: CA
Posts: 294
9 7 hugs
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#4
Great answers, I can actually use this, thank you so much.
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Magnate
Member Since Aug 2011
Posts: 2,082
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#5
And finally, the possible use of group therapy!
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![]() tiger8
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Member
Member Since Jul 2015
Location: CA
Posts: 294
9 7 hugs
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#6
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Poohbah
Member Since Aug 2013
Location: US
Posts: 1,030
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#7
I've also combined therapy with meditation, mindfulness, yoga, regular exercise, and increased socializing. I don't know if any of those might help you as well, but it might be worth a try. For me, it helps the weekly therapy session feel less pressured, as I know it's only one of a number of things that I am doing to take care of myself.
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![]() BayBrony, Bill3, BudFox, Favorite Jeans, pbutton, Rive., tiger8
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Member
Member Since Jul 2015
Location: CA
Posts: 294
9 7 hugs
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#8
Quote:
The rest is not a problem as I do regular training and I like introspecting ![]() |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
Member Since Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450
(SuperPoster!)
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#9
Life coach ? Might be helpful.
__________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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Member
Member Since Jul 2015
Location: CA
Posts: 294
9 7 hugs
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#10
"Life coaching is the process of helping people identify and achieve personal goals. Although life coaches may have studied counseling psychology or related subjects, a life coach does not act as a therapist, counselor, or health care provider, and psychological intervention lies outside the scope of life coaching."
? I don't think I need this if that's what it is (quoted from wikipedia) But thanks! |
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Member
Member Since Apr 2015
Location: Sacramento
Posts: 37
9 |
#11
Great topic. I like the idea of betterhelp.com if it works like it could - where therapists could read about you and choose you to work with. Like the OP, it seems hard to make a match and the financial commitment is just too high.
I had such a great T for several years in another state. Been trying to find another for some time willing to go DEEP in my past but they all disappoint. |
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Member
Member Since Jul 2015
Location: CA
Posts: 294
9 7 hugs
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#12
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 3,983
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#13
I don't go near psychiatrists, but I can relate to your predicament with therapists. I have also wasted a lot of time and money in pursuit of help. Feels like needle in a haystack, and I have given up for the time being. Plus more I read and experience, the less clear I am as to how a therapist would help.
And yes steep fees can be major problem. One psychologist wanted USD$220/hr just to talk. I don't get it. I would love to have a dedicated person to talk to a couple times per week, but I don't know what sort of person either. Maybe a spiritual professional. For me a critical thing is that there be little or no power disparity. I don't want to end up subordinating to an external authority. I did that before and ended up shattered. |
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![]() Gavinandnikki
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Member
Member Since Jul 2015
Location: CA
Posts: 294
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#14
Quote:
Can I ask what sort of issues you have and what made you start and think that therapy would not help you? |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 3,983
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#15
Quote:
Trying to find a new T after that, given that the immediate issue was now harm from prior therapy, became something of a nightmare. At this point it is unclear to what extent therapy merely uncovered these issues, versus actually inducing them. What are the issues you need help with? |
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Member
Member Since Jul 2015
Location: CA
Posts: 294
9 7 hugs
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#16
Quote:
As for uncovering vs inducing an issue, I think there are issues that are buried from the conscious mind, are dormant and perhaps inactive yes but it doesn't mean that if you find access to them that you actually induce them because 1) it was already causing other issues anyway, everything is connected in the brain 2) there is no guarantee it would not have been awakened later in life either suddenly in some other setting or over time gradually. Just my opinion. My issues, hmm, I have some old coping mechanism resembling schizoid PD that no longer works consistently - it used to work for 10+ years - and that left me unstable mentally/emotionally. You could say that such a dormant inactive issue as mentioned above was awakened suddenly in a life setting. I do think that that coping mechanism was just hiding issues with rejection and abandonment in general. What does attachment rejection mean in your case? Do you reject others or do you fear others rejecting you? Last edited by tiger8; Oct 02, 2015 at 12:12 AM.. |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 3,983
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#17
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Yea that would seem logical. I fear others rejecting me. Thats why the therapy rejection was so gutting. I was powerless to prevent it because of the attachment and dependence. |
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![]() Gavinandnikki
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Member
Member Since Jul 2015
Location: CA
Posts: 294
9 7 hugs
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#18
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I hope you can solve your issues! I don't have any conclusion on how well betterhelp works yet btw, I'm still in the process of negotiating to get a counselor for myself who fits my needs. |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 3,983
9 752 hugs
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#19
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Magnate
Member Since Jun 2014
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 2,490
10 |
#20
I think, like with many things, there's a level of trying to sort out what's useful and what's not for yourself and also determining how it's useful.
For example, let's use myself. My depression is biological. This is really an undisputed fact at this point. We've found a medical treatment (ketamine) that works and it's so utterly put my depression into remission I realize now how helpless I was to change anything. There isn't a therapy on the face of this planet that would have fixed my depression. My T knew this. He's DBT trained and so I found and still find seeing him useful. Twenty years of depression and what he does is rooted in practical skills coaching. I know what I need and I find he helps. Contrasting that with another example, my best friend had a chronic mild depression. It got worse for a bit so she tried Wellbutrin and stuck with it for about a year and a half before coming off. It fixed whatever was going on in her head and she didn't need it again, but she knows it's an option should it ever arise. Therapy on the other hand? Eh. She just needed a friendly ear and we're besties so I was more than happy to be that friendly ear. My advice to people in general when they ask about mental healthcare is that I recommend skills based therapy and if they find that isn't enough to pursue psychiatric care. The reality is that a brain under stress *does* undergo chemical changes and a medication can help right those changes. Like my friend. She needed something temporarily, she took it, and then she didn't need it anymore. Why is that any different than needing an antibiotic or some other medication? Yes, it's trickier to sort out because we can't yet crack open the brain and know what's going on (ha! and in my case 20+ antidepressants and other meds never made a dent - ketamine grew pathways that apparently I was missing). Long long long answer. Anyway, my point is, I think there are useful therapies and useful drugs but the brain is tricky and so are our personality and moods and so we have to decide what we're willing to live with. In my case, we were getting pretty desperate as my depression hovered right between "nightmare" and "a$s end of demon town." __________________ “It's a funny thing... but people mostly have it backward. They think they live by what they want. But really, what guides them is what they're afraid of.” ― Khaled Hosseini, And the Mountains Echoed |
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