[AnxiousGirl]

As some of you may or may not know Ive been in therapy for a year and for the past few weeks we started doing some intense exposure therapy. I try really hard to suck it up and be tough about it and so far it's working but at a very high cost ( I come home exhausted and cry myself to sleep ). The last time I saw my T was 2 weeks ago because last week I had to flu so I cancelled the appointment. So my next session is tomorrow and I haven't done ANY of the exposure homework I was supposed to. For 2 reasons:

1- I was actually very sick and didn't want to deal with the exposure

2- I was terrified to do it

Now I'm so anxious because I dont know what to tell her when she asks me if I did the exposure or not. I really am anxious and I can't go to sleep. Anything you guys say will help !

Thank you.

[ShaggyChic_1201]

AWW, AG,

It's ok that you didn't do it. Your T will understand. You are doing the best you can. Last week wasn't the right time. Doesn't mean you're a failure. Maybe next time will be, or the time after that.

Deep breaths. T won't be mad at you! He/she wants you to get better. Exposure therapy, tho it sounds awful in the abstract, is a tool to help you, not a punishment

[Cinnamon_Stick]

Just tell her you were sick and did not feel up to doing your therapy homework. You can also tell her this is getting intense for you and you need to go at a slower pace. I hope your anxiety gets better.

[Pennster]

Yes, it will be good to be honest. It sounds like you put a lot of pressure on yourself to do your therapy perfectly - does that sound true to you? I feel like maybe you could ease up a little on the pressure you put on yourself - maybe I just don't understand it properly, but I feel like if the exposure is distressing you that much it would be better to take it at a slower pace. Like I suspect it would be more likely to be effective and lasting if you're doing it at a pace you can handle, and you would feel more satisfaction in mastering these difficult things rather than feeling overwhelmed by them.

[AnxiousGirl]

Thanks for the answers! The problem is, that this is the next step in the exposure list I made. So there are FAR more scary things ahead. This step is still at the bottom so I have to get through this. I have my session in a few hours and im such a mess. This is the first time im going into her office not having done my homework

[gayleggg]

It will be okay. Just be honest with her. You can pick up where you left off. She will understand. None of us are perfect. It's okay. You are okay. Hang in there.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[AnxiousGirl]

Just got home and I'm exhausted. I have no energy for anything I was very close to crying for the first time but didn't again so now I feel like crying it out. Why is therapy so hard

[ShaggyChic_1201]

How are you doing now?

I was just reading about exposure therapy, and this passage is important "if a client does not complete a task, this is not viewed as a failure, but an opportunity to learn more about the phobia."
I hope that's useful to you, and I hope you're ok after a tough session.

[AnxiousGirl]

Originally Posted by ShaggyChic_1201

How are you doing now?

Not bad but when I tried to do the exposure last night I couldn't again. It's so hard I wish I can just get over the fear.

[AnxiousGirl]

Originally Posted by Echos Myron

I was just reading about exposure therapy, and this passage is important "if a client does not complete a task, this is not viewed as a failure, but an opportunity to learn more about the phobia."
I hope that's useful to you, and I hope you're ok after a tough session.

Thanks for this! My therapist told me the same thing but in my mind it is a failure. I couldn't do the exposure again

[JaneTennison1]

Correct me if I get this wrong but I think it's related to your pefectionism streak. IE you want to do step A, step B, step C and move on. Except anxiety is probably more like Step A, Step B, Step A, Step A, step C and so on, it is not a straight line during which one conquers a fear and moves on. I get that you want to do it perfectly but half of the perfection and curing of fears is i n jumbling all the steps, getting so anxious your brain takes a week off, being stuck on a step for 2-3 weeks. It is how you will "get better"

Good luck!