[stolen_innocence08]

I recently re entered therapy as I was looking for answers.

In the past, we are talking over ten years ago, I went through intensive therapy as a teenager. It was shortly after I got out of a sexually abusive situation that had happened in my childhood.

I thought I'd worked through my abuse issues. I wrote down what happened on a piece of paper. I was having sessions but not with a therapist, who had never really recieved any training regarding the abuse issues and told me directly the above. I didn't tell everything, just a bit, but while I was told it was not my fault, nothing really changed in how I felt about it. And it was left alone.

I re entered therapy a while ago and it feels like my world is crashing down. But that is for another post. I don't know what to expect, do I expect to feel cured after wards? I don't feel I deserve to be there. Or should bring up the past when my present is fairly straight forward. I don't believe I should talk of the past. I believe my T will also think the same.

[laxer12]

I went through some family stuff as a kid and I had talked about it with my T who I've been seeing for a year now. I thought I had processed it all but then I started thinking about it again so I went to a session and said something along the lines of "I'm not sure if it is worth talking about anymore, but I've been thinking about everything that happened with my family again". My T immediately said, "If you're thinking about it a lot and it's bothering you, it's worth talking about". We spent the entire hour really processing it and I felt SO much better about it afterward.

If you have a good T, they will want you to talk about what is bothering you. If your T says it isn't worth talking about, find another one that will listen and help you work through it. If it's on your mind, it's worth discussing.

[ruh roh]

If it feels like your world is crashing down and the past doesn't feel resolved, and you're asking this question...it's absolutely worth talking about. How does it get resolved? Not with simplistic platitudes about it not being your fault. It's a long, slow process that's individual to you and relies a lot on being able to have a good therapist you trust.

[wolfie205]

I used to feel the same way with my previous therapists. 2 of which had no training in trauma therapy. The first one was great but I didn't trust her enough to talk about my childhood with her. They helped get me to the point of being stable and getting on with my life but they didn't help me with all of the emotional issues and self defeating beliefs that came with the abuse. The current therapist I am seeing is trained in trauma therapy and she's great. I don't know if it's because I'm finally at the stage where I have accepted it and I'm ready to talk about it but I opened up to her about my childhood in the first session. I never talked about most of it other than a few incidents with my previous therapists. I think there are specific therapies that help with trauma processing like EMDR. There are also books that my therapist has asked me to read like courage to heal and the body keeps the score. I haven't actually done trauma processing but just feeling like someone knows took a huge weight off my chest.

[AllHeart]

Sexual abuse severely damages and distorts the psyche of a child. There is so much damage done and there is no quick, easy fix for repair. You might consider seeing a therapist that specializes in dealing with trauma for best results. Getting stuck with a therapist that doesn't know how to handle the delicacy of csa can set you back even further.

The effects of CSA will plague you for the rest of your life if left unattended. You mention you feel you don't deserve to be in therapy. That's how sexual abuse makes you feel...undeserving of good things like therapy. As for what to expect when therapy is done? Expect to be healed, and to have a healthy psyche.

You are fortunate to be seeking out help at a young age. I commend you highly for that!