[wolfie205]

I'm in my early twenties so I'm a young adult who's trying to figure out life. I just started trauma therapist with a new therapist. It's been great. I trust her more than any of my previous therapists, I opened up to her easily and we have a good relationship. The only problem is that I'm wondering if I'm getting too attached to her. I know transference is common but sometimes she feels like a mother figure or the parent I've never had. I came from a huge family and she understands how it feels because she has the exact same number of kids. I'm guessing that her kids are slightly older than me but not too much. We share the same interests like music and she's always been so supportive and protective of me. I know the therapeutic relationship is a professional one but sometimes, I can't help wishing she was my mother.

Despite how intense sessions can get, I find myself looking forward to each session and when she's away, I actually miss her and being in the room. I used to see my therapist once a month and I did fine. I see her almost every week and yet, I feel sad when we have to miss a session. I'm not the sort to open up much in therapy and I never had this problem with any other therapists because I didn't even trust them enough to tell them about my life.

Should I tell my therapist? What should I do?

[laxer12]

I would talk to her about it. You seem to have a really good and healthy relationship with her so she should be able to work through it with you.

You're definitely not alone in how you feel about your therapist. I feel the same way towards mine and I know that there are a ton of people on this forum that also have those feelings. It can be hard to talk about but those conversations generally help, especially when you have a good T that can work through it with you.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by wolfie205

I know the therapeutic relationship is a professional one but sometimes, I can't help wishing she was my mother.

I have felt this very strongly and I'm sure others have too.

In my view, if mothering helps the patient, that's a legitimate form of therapy. Unfortunately, not all therapists feel that way.

But you're always allowed to talk about it, regardless.

[Cinnamon_Stick]

Originally Posted by wolfie205

I know the therapeutic relationship is a professional one but sometimes, I can't help wishing she was my mother.

I could have written this. I actually have a thread about this and transference on here. I know how painful it is to have that wish that your therapist was your mother. I know how it can eat at your core. I am sorry you are going through it as well. Please know its totally normal to feel this way. Your therapist is probably giving you something you never had and treats you good and you realize you have never felt this way and you never want to let her go. How can you not get attached?

One of the best things I did was tell my therapist these feelings. Its very hard. In my case it hurts me to just look at her. If she knows how you feel she can help you to work through these feelings. My T really gets my pain and she is helping me with these feelings. They are very intense for me lately. I am going to have to talk with my own T more about this because its really effecting me. Another thing that helps me is to be happy for the role she does have in my life even if its not the role I desperately want her in. I feel like through therapy she is "mothering" me in a way. Therapy still feels very healthy and professional.

I do hope you can work through this with your T. It might be hard but it really helps for her to know you have these feelings.

[SoupDragon]

I felt like that for a long time. It is not as intense now, so in my experience it does pass and maybe serves a purpose.

I never discussed it with my T, but I am sure many know that clients have these feelings.