What are therapists responsible for?

There actually is a duty to avoid harming clients. Go to this website and download a PDF document that will show you that, as one of the provisions of the code.
Ethics

It's at www.counseling.org

No offense, but much of this is rather condescending and infantilizing. Some therapy clients have serious wounding and problems, but are at the same time responsible and hard working and respectful. It's not a question of round the clock support; the issue is what the T can or should do if therapy or the therapist puts a client in greater distress.

The way you and others describe therapy seems a bit detached from reality. My experiences have never shown it to have the legitimacy and credibility that your words seem to suggest. The way the biz talks about itself, and the way it actually conducts itself, seem sometimes worlds apart. My ex T stuck to official language while the whole thing was crumbling around her. Therapy encourages clients to take an unflinching look at themselves in the mirror, but seems incapable of the same.

I haven't been able to read ALL the replies yet (I keep getting called away...sick kid!) but I wanted to say I do relate to this. My T and I had quite a disagreement, actually, about the thought of letting me leave in a bad place. This was happening.... and I would dissociate and once even ended up sitting in a snow bank in a neighboring parking lot with a frozen bum after session. NO idea how I got there. What would have happened if I had been driving?? So it took me awhile, but I finally told her about this, and that I needed to be in a good place when I left, and could we maybe spend the last 10 minutes of a session on a more light hearted topic. She thought I had issues with time boundaries, and wasn't wanting to leave at the end of a session. NOT the case. I didn't want to be upset or dissociated at the end of a session, for my safety! She did not believe me. It's as if she thought I was trying to milk her for more time at the end. So since then, i've been able to "stay present" by watching the clock....and now THIS drives her crazy, but I am out the door exactly when my session is to end. She hates that I watch the clock now.... but, I needed to take matters into my own hands and let her know it was NOT because I didn't want to leave. Watching the clock has given me something to focus on so I stay present.

I remember you mentioning this a while back actually, I thought at the time how scummy that was of her. I am glad you have managed to find a way to make it work for you, but also kind of sad you had to do that for yourself.

One thing that bothers me immensely about some therapists is they create this profession, offer a service, and then sort of check out of any responsibility past physically being in the chair. As if nothing that happens has anything to do with them. It's all transference, it couldn't possibly be that they're being kind of jerky about things.

Meanwhile, the rest of us are constantly adapting to, making allowances for, doing everything but dancing a jig through most social interactions because we realize we have some responsibility in them.

BudFox, if it sounded like I had some idealised view if therapy and therapists, that's not the case. I went for therapy for long intervals of time with a few different therapists. I thought they were, basically, well-intentioned people. However, I came to the conclusion that they really don't have as much to offer, as they seem to think they do. When, after being with a therapist for an extended amount of time, I would say that I felt I was not being helped significantly, the therapist would become very defensive and say I was not going about therapy correctly. (This happened to me twice.) I would have already gone to numerous sessions and never told I was not participating appropriately. Then, as soon as I voiced some dissatisfaction with what I was getting out of it, I'ld get lambasted for not doing my part. I think therapists tend to be extremely defensive - utterly unwilling to take hard looks at themselves.

It is a very unbalanced relationship. Every problem that arises tends to get seen as the client's fault, in my experience.

musinglizzy, I came to the same conclusion as you, and I employed the same strategy. I became a clock watcher and took it on myself to wind things down when the end time was approaching. It was just too upsetting for me to be in the midst of a troubling thought and then have the conversation aborted. In my experience, therapists don't do a good job of limiting the conversation to what can be reasonably dealt with in an hour.

SkyscraperMeow, I do agree that this is a profession where one can put a lot, or a little, into the encounter . . . and there's not really any recourse for the client, other than to stop going. It's my impression that therapists do spend a lot of time just occupying a space, or chair, as you say. A lot of what transpires doesn't really constitute therapy, IMHO.

SOOO true. I've always loved your posts...because you really get the down and dirty stuff into words that really mean something!

I'm probably a fairly demanding client, I guess. That could be part of the reason for my irritation. I genuinely expect a lot more than chair sitting, and frankly my therapist is obviously a smart guy. He can do it. Easily. So I guess I'm not letting him off the hook for not doing it. I guess we'll see how that works out long term.

That means a lot, especially coming from you. Because sometimes I've thought I've said too much concerning your therapist, but I really do mean to be helpful, even though I know things are never actually as simple as I would like them to be. It's something I should probably work on. I think my therapist would like me to anyway .

Ok maybe I read you wrong. Hard to know sometimes.

Sky - It sounds to me like this guy is not terribly skillful at what he does. I've had a lot of therapy. Typically, if I was getting upset dealing with something, the therapist would try to help me to "wind down" well before we got to the end of our session. That's part of the art of doing therapy. Of course, a client is going to find it upsetting to delve into certain sensitive issues. A skilled therapist knows how to budget the time. 5 minutes before the session concludes is not the time to encourage staying on an unhappy topic. To leave a bit troubled from time to time might be part of the process. But to be leaving a wreck over and over is not what therapy should be doing.

Therapists are human, and sometimed a therapist just plain dislikes a client. When that happens, I think real harm can be done to the client. I wonder if something like that might be going on. You have to be able to trust that your therapist has some warm regard for you and your wellbeing. If the T gives off the attitude that "Your pain is your problem." then I don't think you are going to be helped by this T.

I was in a partial hospitalization program where one of the therapists took a real dislike to me. I could show up to the program in a mess emotionally, and she would not even offer the slightest gesture of concern. One day, when she was giving a talk and encouraging group discussion, something I said annoyed her and she jumped down my throat. After the class, she came to me offering an apology. I had no real respect for her apology. The problem was much bigger than our verbal exchange in that particular class. The woman just couldn't stand me, and she was just sorry that she let her animosity show . . . with witnesses watching.

I wonder how your sessions with this T would go, if there were an impartial 3rd party in the room as a witness. I wonder if he would let you tape-record the session? Or does he have something to hide?

I suspect this therapist is not highly skilled, or maybe is just not a good match for you. A therapist is not there to become your best friend and shower you with love, but you should feel genuinely cared about.