[Eleny]

Have you ever wondered if your T genuinely cares or is very good at faking empathy? I have wondered in the past, but maybe these are just my own trust issues.

[vonmoxie]

Actively showing empathy is an included part of standard treatment programs for various disorders, so it's altogether possible that at times it requires effort on their part to make that display occur.

Being an intuitive person, I find fake empathy more distressing than no empathy at all, but have had difficulty convincing therapists of this. Because they're not going to be inclined to admit that they have attempted to show empathy and possibly not pulled it off, as it suggests that what they consider to be an important skill may be missing from their occupational toolbox. I'd certainly recommend working towards opening up that dialogue in a way that's not accusatory though, if it's something that concerns you. Therapy's supposed to be a place where you experience constructive interaction.

[Ellahmae]

At first I did. Now I know that she genuinely cares, less by what she says (although she does say she does) and more by her actions and gestures, tones and feelings she 'shares' with me. I am a very good reader of people and of their honesty and I don't get that my T shows me 'fake empathy'. I do find fake empathy to be distressing and frustrating, I'd rather those who fake care/understanding not try to show any at all.

[Suraya]

I really dislike the whole fake empathy piece if therapy. I haven't voiced that to T, I just basically ignore it and let her go on doing it, even though I know it's mostly fake. I'm a good reader of people and I get that she doesn't care as much as she pretends.

[ChipperMonkey]

I don't think you can pay for empathy.

I think most therapists dish out pity.

[stopdog]

I find empathy awful but I don't get concerned if it is fake or not. I think the fake kind would be less bad for me. I have never had what I thought was pity from a therapist.

[Fuzzybear]

Some T's are not able to have empathy because of their own dx (IMO)

[Cinnamon_Stick]

I also used to think the empathy my T expresses is fake but now I can tell its very genuine. I am very intuitive and can tell how my T is feeling. I can tell when she is not herself.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by Eleny

Have you ever wondered if your T genuinely cares or is very good at faking empathy? I have wondered in the past, but maybe these are just my own trust issues.

What I see is "rationed caring", which can be difficult to distinguish from fake empathy.

I wondered about it in the past. But since work progressed I learnt it cannot be faked. Once you've had it, there's no way you cannot believe it.
Before T with this T, I'd never had it. Now I have I can spot a fake -and actually is not that people fake it, it's that they have never had it and are trying to have a quality that is beyond them. Not a deliberate act - a T that hasn't got that quality needs to enter their own therapy.
None of this is a weapon to be used against anyone else. It's always a lack in the person who is trying to portray a quality.

It's not an empathetic person choosing to pretend to fake it. How does that make any Sense???

I've never thought my long-term T's were faking their caring and empathy. I did sense it almost immediately with a couple female T's that I tried out and immediately decided were not for me. I agree with Mouse. I can spot someone bad at empathy a mile off; the real deal cannot be utilized effectively unless it is truly genuine.