[lozza89]

Since I was 15 years old I have been using a helpline for kids, I have spoken to numerous counsellors there over the last 11 years (you have a regular counsellor and of course they come and go over the years)

This year in March I turned 26 which meant I could no longer use the helpline. It was so hard on me as they knew me better than anyone and they were like my sole support, even above my face to face therapist and the rest of my face to face treatment team. My counsellor from the helpline promised me that after the first 6 months of ceasing contact with her I could call her for a quick chat/ catch up. I asked her if doing that was really ok and she said yes, that many other people did it too!

It's now been around 8 months since my last call to her and I wanted to call so badly but I feared that maybe she wouldn't remember me and so I sent her an email. It's been almost a month and I have had no reply so yesterday whilst I was waiting to see my therapist I called the helpline and asked if she was there.. I was told by the counsellor who answered my call that she was no longer on the phone and so she could not put me through to her.

I should have asked if I could speak to her quickly, explained the situation to her but I could barely speak and do anything.

How could my helpline counsellor do that to me? How? She should have known not to promise me something that she was unable to fully commit to. She knows about my past, about how I cope when people don't keep promises, when people just disappear from my life without a single word or even saying goodbye.

I just don't know what to do, trying so badly to stay safe but whats the point. Like seriously? I just don't know what to do anymore, I don't know what to do.

I know that people change positions and all that but how could she just not be there anymore? I don't know what to do.

[JaneTennison1]

She probably doesn't know you emailed or called. She didn't break a promise because she doesn't know you called. Call again and ask for her to return the call this time.

[Nammu]

Nobody can foresee the future.

[Perry Gunite]

I don't think any of it was on purpose. I am sorry that happened to you.
I hope you can find a way or alternate support through this.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[AllHeart]

I guess I don't quite follow, sorry. Did this counselor in fact know you called her and she refused to speak to you? It kind of sounds like she did not know that you specifically called her, that she just wasn't available to speak to whomever was on the phone (that being you), so that's why I'm confused on why you feel she broke her promise to you. Sorry for the requested clarification.

[Merecat]

Do you mean your counsellor doesn't work/volunteer for the helpline any more or just that her shift had finished? If her shift had finished, you could call her a bit earlier next week. If she's left the place entirely, she may not have known when she said you could call in 6 months that she would have left by then. A lot can happen in 6/8 months that she may not have control over.

I'm sorry you're hurting and hope your therapy session helped.

I'd suggest talking about that with your f2f team.

You were using kids helpline werent you i have only ever had bad experiences with them

[ChipperMonkey]

I don't believe she lied to you. Her job at the hotline may have changed. Nobody can tell what the future holds. If she has been taken off of hotline duty, then her job has changed and it sounds like she doesn't have client contact.

No relationship, whether it be personal or professional, is guaranteed. Most people want to think that a promise means forever, but it never does. At the time it may be a good faith, honest to goodness, well meaning intention to follow through with what they say, but life has a way of throwing curveballs.

I think it would help you if you broadened your support network and safety net. Find an in person therapist. Strengthen relationships with friends and family. Etc.

[lozza89]

I know that my thoughts aren't really rational right now and that she is probably a full time supervisor now (before I finished with her she was already doing supervising shifts and was no longer able to have regular clients as they couldn't always guarantee that she would be on the phones when she was meant to be but she kept talking to me anyway because my time with them was almost up..

I do have a face to face therapist but it's not the same and I just found that calling the helpline was so much easier as it was over the phone, web counselling or contact through email..

Originally Posted by eden1515

You were using kids helpline werent you i have only ever had bad experiences with them

and yes it was them. I am sorry you haven't had good experiences with them, they have been a life saver for me.. well minus the first time they called an ambulance for me as I had taken a really bad o/d. They have always been there, never judged me, never gave up on me when everyone else like past therapists have. They were always there no matter what..

Originally Posted by lozza89

I know that my thoughts aren't really rational right now and that she is probably a full time supervisor now (before I finished with her she was already doing supervising shifts and was no longer able to have regular clients as they couldn't always guarantee that she would be on the phones when she was meant to be but she kept talking to me anyway because my time with them was almost up..

I do have a face to face therapist but it's not the same and I just found that calling the helpline was so much easier as it was over the phone, web counselling or contact through email..


and yes it was them. I am sorry you haven't had good experiences with them, they have been a life saver for me.. well minus the first time they called an ambulance for me as I had taken a really bad o/d. They have always been there, never judged me, never gave up on me when everyone else like past therapists have. They were always there no matter what..

Well I am glad they cared about someone they told me to stop bothering them when I didn't want to disclose my name right at that very second even after I told them I was bout to kill myself other times I have found them condescending and not really very good at listening the whole of their service has let me down so many times I can't count.

[BudFox]

You were betrayed so you have every right to be upset, regardless of the reason. Obviously there are no guarantees, but professionals are responsible for boundaries and for considering the implications of the promises they make and the expectations they set. It's not your job to consider all the vagaries and possible eventualities of the helpline's business. If they had a clue, they'd understand you developed an attachment to that counselor and try to help.

But I'm not clear if she is still there and available in some fashion? I also don't understand why she wouldn't respond to your email to at least clarify?

Unfortunately, not all promises can be kept. Sorry you are dealing with this.

[Perry Gunite]

Life is full of these little moments. Move on and don't make it a big moment.
Change your thought and you change the outcome.

[lozza89]

Originally Posted by eden1515

Well I am glad they cared about someone they told me to stop bothering them when I didn't want to disclose my name right at that very second even after I told them I was bout to kill myself other times I have found them condescending and not really very good at listening the whole of their service has let me down so many times I can't count.

I'm so sorry they weren't there for you. I completely agree that some counsellors there are absolutely **** but if you get the right one then that experience is very very different.

Originally Posted by BudFox

But I'm not clear if she is still there and available in some fashion? I also don't understand why she wouldn't respond to your email to at least clarify?

I believe she is still there but is a supervisor there now so hence has no contact with clients. But supervisors are the ones that read through the emails before allocating them to a counsellor so yes she should have at least replied to my email as not only did I address it to her but if she is a supervisor then she would have definitely received it.. it's doing my head in still but trying not to give it too much thought but it's really hard and I am still greatly finding I just can't let it go

[BudFox]

Originally Posted by Perry Gunite

Life is full of these little moments. Move on and don't make it a big moment.
Change your thought and you change the outcome.

Clearly for the OP it is more than a little moment.