[musinglizzy]

One of my biggest issues I'm working on in therapy is how I am so against vocalizing my needs. What's the point in having/talking about needs if they can't be fulfilled. I'm not just talking in therapy.

I think it would make for a decent discussion.... what are your needs (moreso related to therapy, or the very close people in your life), and do you ask for them? Does anyone else eventually just get turned off as far as vocalizing needs?

I hate having them, and hate more asking for them. I don't think I'll ever be able to get past that. I know it would be a healing part of my therapy, but not if it just causes more pain.

I don't vocalize my needs either. I feel as though my needs don't matter, and I don't deserve to have them fulfilled. Don't even know how to bring it up in therapy.

[stopdog]

The first woman has told me she thinks I have trouble asking for help. I don't usually see that I need help. I see need as a bit extreme for almost everything. I might want something, but need is something I rarely see as the situation when talking about humans. I mean I might say I need to pick up some eggs but I don't say I need another human to do most things.
I do say I need the therapist to stay back if I am to keep seeing her.

[musinglizzy]

THanks for the input.... twistedangel, we have the very same mentality.

[AllHeart]

........

Agree with Stopdog. I don't think I have needs. Needing something is, in my opinion, "I'll die if I don't have x so I need x" (and I'm not talking about suicide here) and as I don't die if I don't get x, I don't need it.
I wouldn't even say I need my PRN medication. It's difficult to cope without them in certain situations, but as I don't need them for my continued survival, I don't need them.

I guess I pretty much handle my needs on my own. I can't think of much in the way of "needs" that I am not capable of providing for myself. I guess I see needs as survival things maybe, so I'm not sure I'm even thinking about the same kinds of things you are thinking of.

What do I like and enjoy having in my life that make my life more fulfilling? (wondering if that is how you are defining "needs"): family, faith, music, etc. and the joy and relationship and personal fulfillment that go right along with those things. Those are sort of "needs" I guess in that without them I am not content in my life.

[Cinnamon_Stick]

I have a hard time in therapy talking about and identifying my needs. I feel like I need a maternal figure that loves, cares about and supports me. I feel like I need compassion and understanding. I know what some of my needs are but I think I have some buried deep inside that won't come out. I also don't like talking about my needs. I hate having to tell someone that I need them. I always feel needy talking about my needs and I don't want to burden people.

[iheartjacques]

I would say I need a safe place to dump my crap. Somewhere where they're not allowed to tell anyone else what I've said, and to help me talk through the bad stuff. The good stuff I willingly share with family and friends. But not the bad stuff because people judge you or don't know how to say the right thing or keep their mouths shut.
I guess I also need to like, respect and trust that person. And that person has to be helpful.

[Gazelle98]

I am so used to sorting myself out because my needs were not met by others. I learnt I should be independent and shouldn't bother people so now I struggle to even identify what my needs are. My t will ask what I need from her in a difficult session and I have difficulty coming up with an answer. When I can identify needs, I try and avoid vocalising them.

[Seraphine]

It's funny, i have a friend who did psychology in uni, who i am more open with than most ppl, and he asked me that exact question only a few weeks ago, what do i need? And i was at a loss, i couldn't even think of a need, that's how used i am to never relying on anyone, that I don't even register my own needs, what anyone can do to help me in an way. It was a rather horrifying revelation for me. I knew i hated ever asking for help physically or anything like that, but never realized i was so inherently opposed to being vulnerable in that way.

[Walking Man]

I know it's not true, but I feel like it's wrong to ask. Or, if it's not wrong, I'm afraid the other person will respond negatively. I feel like a pain when I do ask.

[divine1966]

I do have needs. They might not be essential like air or water needs but I do have them.

I need intellectually stimulating job in order to feel alive. I need somebody to be there without judgement or negativity ( if no one is there its fine but I don't want to be around those who are too negative). I need to be able to be creative. Etc etc some of these needs have nothing to do with other people.

I meet my own needs mostly. But needs to be understood by another person is a different thing. My significant other understands me without judgment so does my daughter and my brother. My parents never understood me so that's that. I don't need anything much from t except her being flexible with schedule as I never know when I
Am free

I do ask people for help but I often redo whatever is that they did as I am a bit of a control freak. Working on it

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