[sjkero]

I'm going through a health issue that is causing me a lot of anxiety and making me more and more depressed by the day. I had an appointment with the doctor last week, and I left feeling frustrated, like I have no options (it's not life or death, but the condition hits me hard emotionally for a lot of reasons...). I saw my T for the first time today after my appointment, and after I told her the story and how upset I became at the appointment (I cried... a lot... not like me at all), she asked me 'what do you need from me?'

On one hand, it's the sweetest question ever, and the thing is, she is a good T... on the other hand, I'm angry with her... and I want to scream 'You're the professional, you figure it out! I don't know! Just make me feel better!!!!'

Please only offer kind words. It's a hard time.

[Argonautomobile]

I wish I had something deeply profound to say that could just fix all this for you. I'm sorry you're going through all that--sorry about the health issue, about the frustrating doctor visit, about T's inability to just make you feel better. We all have go-to things that are intended to make everything seem ok again, at least for a little while--Mom, Blanket, Chocolate, Booze, Therapy, Whatever--and it's heartbreaking when those things don't work.

Wishing you the best.

Take Care,

Argonaut

[iheartjacques]

Tell her you need her to be compassionate and a support to you through this tough time. Just to be there and listen, like we do x

My T has asked me the same question once. I had the same mixed feelings as you about the question. It's nice to be asked, but somehow annoying too. It kind of places the responsibility on you. I've been responsible for myself all my life, I want something different in therapy. I'm sorry about your health.

[Favorite Jeans]

My T asks me this fairly often. I'm also going through a very hard time in my life. I have had more or less the same reaction as you. I tell her though. Along the lines of "OMG you're the f-ing therapist why can't you just fix this/tell me what to do/offer the perfect solace/know intuitively what I need?" And then we can laugh and both be sad that she isn't magic like that. It helps me make use of what she CAN offer: her patience, her empathy, her warmth and the safety of the space she provides me.

[amalya]

first - sorry to hear about your condition, lots of hugs...

also coping with some health issues, my T asked me in the past "what do you need from me to make it easier for you?"
i couldn't answer that, and felt frustrated just as you.
later she started asking me "how do you expect your mother to react?", and "what your husband can do to make you feel better"? and i think she's learning what i need and want from my answers to those question...
for some reason i'm able to express what i need/want from family and friends, but not what i need/want from her.
and i think that sometimes T are asking questions like this to make US think and articulate what are our needs.

[Walking Man]

I understand how you feel. When I'm sick (I have a chronic condition/disability) I want someone to take care of me. Sometimes I just want to be sick and let someone do everything. I want them to take the responsibility. The only time that happens is when I'm in the hospital.

T has never asked me what I need from him. Sometimes I wish he would. Other times I am glad he doesn't because I wouldn't know how to answer him.

[ilikecats]

I totally understand what you mean. I hate it when I have to tell people what I want, because I want them to just know! Sometimes I don't even know what I want, and other times I feel like they should already know. It can be hard to express my needs too, because I don't want to seem annoying, so if they already know and can do it without me asking I won't feel bad about asking.