FAQ/Help |
Calendar |
Search |
|
View Poll Results: Do You Think Switching Therapists is Beneficial with Transference? | ||||||
No. Work through it with your current T. | 8 | 26.67% | ||||
|
||||||
No. You'll have it anyway no matter what. | 4 | 13.33% | ||||
|
||||||
Yes. The transference might not be as strong with someone with a different personality. | 3 | 10.00% | ||||
|
||||||
Yes. New T might be able to see things old T did not. | 3 | 10.00% | ||||
|
||||||
Other. Please explain. | 12 | 40.00% | ||||
|
||||||
Voters: 30. You may not vote on this poll |
Reply |
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
Aranel
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: my dark reality
Posts: 4,148
9 2,116 hugs
given |
#1
I was just pondering... I know my connection with my T is pretty intense we don't really talk about it other than it is okay to express my feelings to her and to feel that way but I have seen others on the boards who have had intense transference and then swapped therapists. I think my heart would be destroyed if I left my present T but I wanted to see what others thought on 'transferring the transference'.
__________________ **the curiosity can kill the soul but leave the pain and every ounce of innocence is left inside her brain**
|
Reply With Quote |
Mike_J, qwertykeyboard
|
qwertykeyboard
|
Child of a lesser god
Member Since Jun 2015
Location: Tartarus
Posts: 19,150
(SuperPoster!)
8 12.4k hugs
given |
#2
I don't think I have transference for either of mine, so I can't say for sure, but I would say that if it were getting in the way of successful therapy, switching is always preferable (kind of like I'm switching specialists because the first one has terrible staff in her practice and dealing with them always makes me feel worse). If it's not getting in the way, or if you're in therapy because of problems regulating emotions, then I can see the argument for staying.
|
Reply With Quote |
Ellahmae
|
Grand Member
Member Since Apr 2013
Location: Antarctic
Posts: 772
11 161 hugs
given |
#3
In my opinion, it'd be likely for someone to have the same issues with another therapist, so it's better to try and work them out with the first therapist. It's so hard to confront these issues, but it's so worth it in the end to hash things out with your therapist. It builds such a strong connection and understanding.
Obviously, there are therapists who can't handle the transference, but there are exceptions everywhere. |
Reply With Quote |
Ellahmae
|
Aranel
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: my dark reality
Posts: 4,148
9 2,116 hugs
given |
#4
Quote:
__________________ **the curiosity can kill the soul but leave the pain and every ounce of innocence is left inside her brain**
|
|
Reply With Quote |
unlockingsanity
|
underdog is here
Member Since Sep 2011
Location: blank
Posts: 34,731
(SuperPoster!)
12 1 hugs
given |
#5
I don't think I have it - I don't feel especially connected to either of them.
I think switching could help but I don't think it is a guarantee. The sticking point would be, in my opinion, if the new therapist handled it better or not. __________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
Reply With Quote |
Grand Member
Member Since Apr 2013
Location: Antarctic
Posts: 772
11 161 hugs
given |
#6
I could be confusing you with someone else, but didn't you share that you were going to leave one of your T's but ended picking up another one and not not quitting with the first T? I thought it was because you couldn't move on from that T, but maybe this is all some fairy tale I concocted? I apologize if I'm confusing you for someone else. I remember being surprised because your posts make it seem like you are not overly reliant on your Ts.
|
Reply With Quote |
underdog is here
Member Since Sep 2011
Location: blank
Posts: 34,731
(SuperPoster!)
12 1 hugs
given |
#7
I do see two. I just never stopped seeing the first. She does some things better than the second one and after interviewing over 30 of them, these were the two least objectionable. At this point I like observing the differences in how they handle things. They are both allegedly psychodynamic, but very different from each other. Two work better for me. Neither one is good enough on their own, but I have learned what each is not unuseful for and use them for those things.
__________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
Reply With Quote |
iheartjacques, unlockingsanity
|
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
#8
I put other. My transference towards T1 was such that it became unbearable because he wouldn't acknowledge it or work through it so I faced weekly rejection and a whole load of pain from someone I cared deeply about. It was heartbreaking but I had to leave because I knew I needed to work through those feelings and it was just too painful to be around him with all those feelings and not discuss them.
My transference hasn't transferred to T2 and I've been working with him for a year now. He was there for me throughout the grieving process for T1 and I've uncovered the origins of the transference for T1, which has been very healing. But, I don't think it's necessary to switch if you have a good T who is willing to hear you and help you work through your feelings. This week I told T2 that I am starting to have stronger feelings towards him, and he just said "that's OK, hold them lightly". which to me meant to simply allow them to be. I feel sure I could work through any transference with him. |
Reply With Quote |
Ellahmae
|
Grand Poohbah
Member Since May 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 1,677
8 4,146 hugs
given |
#9
I think the best thing to do with transference (I have done it) is to talk about it with your T. Switching t's could either transfer the same feelings to someone else or leave your painful transference unresolved from your previous therapist. Talking to my T is the only thing that has truly helped me. I think some people like me would have it no matter who they saw.
|
Reply With Quote |
Comfy Sedation
Member Since Sep 2012
Location: the woods
Posts: 19,301
(SuperPoster!)
11 8,149 hugs
given |
#10
i think the issues are very different in each dynamic and individual. i dont think there is a set answer across the board
__________________ |
Reply With Quote |
Favorite Jeans, Inner_Firefly
|
Aranel
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: my dark reality
Posts: 4,148
9 2,116 hugs
given |
#11
__________________ **the curiosity can kill the soul but leave the pain and every ounce of innocence is left inside her brain**
|
Reply With Quote |
Comfy Sedation
Member Since Sep 2012
Location: the woods
Posts: 19,301
(SuperPoster!)
11 8,149 hugs
given |
#12
i see. i think in my case my transference would just get re-applied to a new therapist. i would rather work on it with my current T , even though it might make me feel extremely vulnerable..
__________________ |
Reply With Quote |
Cinnamon_Stick, Ellahmae, precaryous
|
Infamous Vampire Duck
Community Liaison
Member Since Dec 2009
Location: Mid West
Posts: 12,742
(SuperPoster!)
14 961 hugs
given |
#13
I hate the word transference, and changing therapists wouldn't help with the feelings I have towards my current therapist. And where would I find another therapist who is nearly as adorable as my current one
__________________ “If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. ... We need not wait to see what others do.” Gandhi |
Reply With Quote |
Ellahmae
|
Aranel
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: my dark reality
Posts: 4,148
9 2,116 hugs
given |
#14
Quote:
__________________ **the curiosity can kill the soul but leave the pain and every ounce of innocence is left inside her brain**
|
|
Reply With Quote |
Magnate
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 2,024
9 2,132 hugs
given |
#15
Do You Think Switching Therapists is Beneficial with Transference?
I think it depends on how the current t handles the situation -- does s/he accept and understand the transference, offer coping strategies to deal with it, and work with the client to address the core issues around it. I think having intense transference with t is usually the result of having childhood attachment issues, which is not an easy fix. Attachment issues or not, there is an internal root cause for the intense transference that needs to be worked out. If the t isn't doing anything to address the root cause then I don't think the client can get better to get over the transference and should move on. |
Reply With Quote |
Cinnamon_Stick, Ellahmae, unaluna
|
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
#16
I will let you know in a month when I have seen more of new t
Although you say you would be devastated if you left current t, I am thinking how devastating it is to want someone so bad and them not being able to give you what you desire! I think it hurts more to stay with a t than to transfer the transference . Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
Reply With Quote |
Ellahmae
|
Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: In my head
Posts: 1,787
10 1,819 hugs
given |
#17
I have had similar (but not identical) types of transference creep up in many of my relationships going back a very long way. For me anyway, there's an underlying issue, some kind of intense need that underpins this process and I find it both tremendously unpleasant and nearly impossible to escape. I think that almost undefinable yearning is a big part of why I need therapy in the first place. So there's really no running from it I think in my case.
The only time I would suggest switching Ts rather than addressing the transference and working through it is if your T cannot or will not process it with you in a safe, supportive, nonsexual, non-shaming way. |
Reply With Quote |
Ellahmae
|
Elder Harridan x-hankster
Member Since Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
Posts: 39,880
(SuperPoster!)
12 66.4k hugs
given |
#18
I answered other. I have had the same kind of transference for my last two male ts. It has let me contrast and compare both my feelings towards them, and their reactions towards me. The latter t of course now has the advantage of my hindsight, but i think he is also more adept.
|
Reply With Quote |
Ellahmae
|
Magnate
Member Since Apr 2014
Location: world
Posts: 2,162
10 350 hugs
given |
#19
My T uses my strong feelings to deal with my problems. He has been kind and patient.
|
Reply With Quote |
Magnate
Member Since Apr 2014
Location: world
Posts: 2,162
10 350 hugs
given |
#20
I have not had such strong feelings (good and negative) towards any other T.
|
Reply With Quote |
Reply |
|