[stopdog]

Do you think you can tell if a therapist is lying? I would hope they would be good enough at it that I could not tell. The woman I see is not that good however, and lied to me about her inability to tell me why she asked the questions she did or why she said the things she said or how therapy was supposed to work or if there was a structure to it or not. So she is either a liar or an idiot.
I suppose I prefer liar to idiot. The second one did answer those questions so I still let that one talk some.

[NowhereUSA]

I don't know. I don't think I would have been sure at the outset but I've got a pretty solid history with my T now and I'm also good at reading people (habit of my upbringing). I can generally pick up with he's not telling me everything although I don't always press it. I've pressed enough times though to know that my hunches are generally right.

No, and it scares me. I think perhaps I fall for the therapeutic lie of unconditional positive regard , though I know therapists are human, and I've taken classes in counseling where empathy and rapport are tricks to make the client more receptive.

I'm sure they omit certain things (such as I doubt they'd tell a client they dislike the truth) and aren't entirely truthful, all the time.

Like you say, therapists are wily.

I haven't the foggiest idea really. I'm fairly certain he doesn't lie to me because he isn't hesitant to tell it like it is. I don't know why he would ever start lying to me; we don't mince words with each other and don't *****-foot around the truth. So, would I be able to tell? Maybe? Because we've always been so straight with each other, I suspect I would probably get a feel for a lack of authenticity in what he was saying; I think he would probably behave in a way that would set off my radar in some way because it would just be different. But that's my best guess.

[unaluna]

Yeah - i can tell. Pretty sure he lied to me today. But i dont really care. Its not in the critical path of what i need to figure my life out. Hes there, he helps me - im not gonna split hairs about what it means to him. Im not even sure that stuff is figure-outable. Today i was like, other people on pc cant even get an appointment, and here i am complaining its too much. I said, how did i get so lucky? Aside from that great line from Fried Green Tomatoes, the parking lot scene - "im older and ive got better insurance." T said he feels he can be himself with me and he enjoys that. That struck me as a lie. To me, the truth would have been stg like, "to make sure youre here next year." But maybe ts dont say that.

[magno11789]

I put other because I feel like there might be times I couple tell if she was lying and other times where I wouldn't even know if she was telling me a lie.

[yagr]

Lie as in trying to deceive you...

or

Lie as in saying something that isn't true?

[Favorite Jeans]

I'm not sure in what context she'd lie to me. She sometimes gives unsatisfying or vague answers and I know at those times that she isn't going to disclose more. But I've never gotten the feeling that she was being untruthful. I do tend to believe what people are saying unless I have very good reason not to. I suspect, as Lola said, that I might have a sense that she wasn't being authentic but that this is just a guess, I might not know.

[AllHeart]

My t has told enough little white lies over the duration of a year and a half. All harmless lies, made to make her look like she is a highly important person (she got issues). I am confident in saying I have learned to decipher when she is telling these little white lies now. I honestly do not believe she tells big lies. In fact, she is sometimes too brutally honest.

I like to think I am good at deciphering when someone is lying to me.

[ThisWayOut]

I don't know why T would lie to me. If she doesn't want to tell something, she doesn't. I think maybe at some of my lowest points she gently steered the conversation in another direction to avoid mentioning something (or answering a direct question), but I don't think she has ever lied to me. She's actually more honest about disclosures than I might seek out. We had a conversation about disclosures when we started up again, and I mentioned that I dislike knowing too much about a T b/c I have had more than one T relationship that fell into a dual-relationhip role. She understood, and now modifies what she tells me.

I try take people at face value when saying negative things, but am suspiscious of them when they say positive things to/about me. I kinda suck at telling if someone is lying to me because of that...

I don't think that I can always tell when someone, therapist or any other person, is lying to me. I know there were a few times that I doubted what she had said to me, something about her demeanor seemed stilted or not very authentic. But I also know that I lie sometimes in personal relationships. It might be a little white lie so as not to hurt someone's feelings (ie. Yeah, I like your haircut. When I really don't like it, but don't want to hurt my friend's feelings) or denial lies (ie. No, I'm not mad or angry or frustrated, or enraged. When I don't want to accept or talk about my feelings because I feel as though they'll lead to an emotional overwhelm.)

I had to laugh after one of my recent sessions when I decided to leave early because I was just frustrated with my inability to "talk". I was stalled out and just sitting and trying to become unstuck wasn't working and creating a raging case of self-frustration. Right before I left, my therapist said, "I wanted you to know that I really enjoy the time I spend with you. I've been meaning to tell you that." I almost burst out laughing. She meant it to be soothing and welcoming (as well as to keep some connection between us) and instead, it came across as forced and stilted. Sometimes my therapist's timing is just off. Not her fault though because I can be just as clumsy and inept in social interactions that have suddenly turned horribly awkward.

I said "other". I think I would be (am) able to recognize lies in certain things. At the same time, pretty sure I could not tell in other areas, especially those where I do not have enough information on the therapist. I used to think that I was very good at detecting lies in people (I guess I wished to be good at it) but experience has shown me it's definitely not always the case.

Reminds me of psychologist Paul Ekman's ideas about how facial expressions reveal lies in often subtle ways, he claims recognizing lies based on it is apparently a skill that can be learned and mastered. He had online tests for this and when I did them a few years ago, I definitely did not score above average. I believe that some people are naturally better at it than others, but I tend to be skeptical about any claim that someone could always tell lies from truth. Generally, I tend to be better at discerning truth from complex information as patterns rather than single specific things people tell me in a moment.

[vonmoxie]

I picked yes as being closest to the truth for me; I'm fairly skilled at reading telltale signs of lying.. body language, eye movements, other nonverbal signals.. This doesn't preclude the possibility that someone could be a more skilled liar than I am a reader of lying, but the 20/20 nature of hindsight suggests I've been extremely successful in this particular regard. Dispensing with ego and attachment to the assessments of others helps a lot.

[RedSun]

Other. I'm not sure. I don't think she would intentionally lie, but she might not be honest with herself, and therefore me. I think I'm more likely to think someone's lying when they're not than the other way round.

I said yes because I have definitely been able to tell when he was lying to me. It really interfered with therapy for me until he was able to admit it was a lie and explain to me WHY he lied about it.

I really believe that my T will never lie to me and I believe that everything she says to me is sincere, so I guess I would never spot a lie.

[divine1966]

I can't imagine a scenario where t would be lying to me and what for.

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[velcro003]

I think I'd put "other," because I'm not sure I've ever really outright asked my T a question, but I have a feeling she wouldn't lie to me. She's pretty open and I think has a willingness to own if she thinks something about therapy wouldn't be working.

On the flip side, I have lied to her and I feel bad about it-but it was a question she asked in the first month of therapy and I am way too ashamed to admit it, and I'm not sure I ever will.

[RedSun]

I said I would really try and not lie to my T. Sometimes I wish I hadn't said it though