Describe emotional connection with therapist

My therapist, to whom I am very attached, asked me what it would look like if he had an emotional connection with me. I could not describe what it looks like but can describe what it feels like.

What does emotional connection with your therapist consist of? What does s/he do--explicitly or implicitly--that reveals the existence of an emotional connection?

I know 'emotional connection' suggests 2 people, but it feels one-sided to me.

Thanks for your opinions.

Hm... Hard to describe. We feel close to each other. We talk about it. T often says that she feels very connected to me and that we will be part lf each others lives forever, she says stuff like we have bonds in our hearts to each other.hm...we also talk about things that make us emotionally vulnerable to each other. We trust each other.

I have not got the foggiest clue what one would be or what the point of such a thing would be.
I will be interested to read what others write.

I, too, have no idea what it would look like. I knew what it felt like once. A lot of it was just in the eye contact. The words used. The connection in her voice. It was just a feeling that I can't describe. Maybe someone else can. But the connection was there. I hope to get it back someday.

Feelings
we feel close to each other
we trust each other
the connection in her voice

Actions
we talk about it
T often says that she feels very connected to me
talk about things that make us emotionally vulnerable
eye contact
words used

I don't think I really have any emotional connection to my T.

The feeling that she cares is there during session and even outside of session given that she allows email or phone calls. I think I feel less connected when we are just talking face to face because I am so quiet. I feel more connected to my T when we play games like Uno.

I am really at a loss to answer this one. I see the things they do to encourage an emotional connection, or make me think there is one, but I don't feel one as others are describing it here.

I pay them to be attentive and listen and do something - react or whatever - with what I tell them.

I don't think I have an emotional connection with my T yet. I know I adore her and love being with her, and I'm pretty sure she cares about me. But I don't feel emotionally connected to her the way I feel with my family and friends. But I feel like if I continue to see her for a while, that connection will develop.

I have an emotional connection with my T. She says she feels connected to me. She says she loves and cares about me. Her actions prove her words. She lets me email, she calls when I am really struggling, she makes eye contact with me in session, is very genuine and we trust each other. She listens to me and really tries to help me. We have a very strong connection.

I feel an emotional connection when she really shows me that she understands what I'm talking about. And when I get serious, she reflects that back to me. She is almost always making eye contact with me or gently shifts to try and get me to look at her. I am out of town for the holidays for a few weeks and she offered to do a skype or phone session if needed and that really made me feel more connected.

To be honest, I don't think anyone has ever understood me more than my T. That's why I keep going back every week.

I definitely have an emotional connection with my t. She has stated before too that we have a deep connection. How to describe it.... hmm.... I guess it's in the knowing that I can say anything, or say nothing, and either way, she understands me. I can just sit with her in comfortable silence and just "be" in that therapeutic space. I don't know how else to describe it.

I feel like we're bathed in a gentle warm glow when we're "emotionally connected". I figure it's mirror neurons and hormones at work.

She makes eye contact, the tone and warmth of her voice, how she leans over to talk to me... Stuff like that.

I tend to feel a bit like this , I see it being balancing , a quiet place .....hmm it is a good question.

Hmmm... I don't think I am emotionally connected with T. We have a connection, but I wouldn't describe it as emotional.

The term "emotional connection" just doesn't ring with me. We definitely work well together. We like each other. We communicate well. I think "emotional connection" just sounds too mushy to me for what I experience in session (just my take on it). It's not like we are gazing into each other's eyes are have some sixth sense about each other.

I don't think I feeeeeeeel an emotional connection to my therapist or to anyone actually. I like people and I enjoy the company of people but it's more of a surface connection, nothing deep and profound. I'm not sure I need that in therapy. I want to be in therapy with someone who is calm, unflappable, who is a good listener and who has a sense of humor. I don't want a lot of "emotional" talk in my therapy; in fact, that kind of talk just turns me off. I do get it that many people want that emotional connection, but it's kind of an elusive thing with me. Not saying I wouldn't be curious to actually experience it, but at this point in my life span, I don't think it's gonna happen!

I feel very connected emotionally to my therapist. He knows me very well and I can trust him with things I wouldn't let other people know. I can feel that he cares about me, and I feel so strongly that he is working to help me. I have a lot of trauma in my past and the idea that no one would help me has been pervasive in my thinking and has caused me a lot of distress since childhood. It makes such a difference to me to be able to feel that he is consistently trying to help me, and especially to strengthen my ability to take care of myself- I carry this with me even when we are not in session, and it's enabled me to develop an attitude that i am "helpable". Now I am getting better at helping myself, because I have allowed his much kinder way of viewing me to displace the extremely critical voice in my head. Instead of condemning myself when I feel bad, I know I can and should treat myself more kindly, so start thinking of steps I can take to either improve my situation or how I feel about it.

So yes, I feel emotionally connected, and it's having an enormous impact on my ability to function and take care of myself.

I'd like to feel more emotionally connected to my T. I'm not really there yet and if it doesn't come I'll be disappointed.

Thanks for all the replies. The reason I have to compare with others' experience is because he says it is me, my perception. But then he contradicts himself and says I want him to be more than my therapist, which implies it is him being 'just' my therapist. :S

He just told me not to email and text him anymore. This after several years of emailing him and working together. He also got cold, sort of business like. But he says he is the same person and that it is my perception.

It makes me question my own reality as my mother and other people who abused me did gaslighting. I can have a real strong reaction to anything that resembles other people telling me my reality is not my reality. Does that make sense?

It still hurts. I have really low self esteem, and when he is cold and distant, it makes me feel worse about myself since that is how it was like growing up. I told him I need him to be warm and human, not cold and businesslike. I wonder if he is pathologizing my needs.

It doesn't seem unusual to want healing through the relationship. I am hurting and depressed and don't really have anybody right now.

Ex Vivo,

Your T changing boundaries and becoming distant sounds so very painful.

I can see why your T is coming across as questioning your reality. In my opinion, what you feel is the important thing and he should respect your emotional experience of him becoming cold and distant, because that's precisely what you feel. I don't think you're wrong in your perception.