Is your T genuine?

Walking Man · Jan 15, 2016 at 02:09 PM

Do you guys trust that your T is being real or genuine with you? Or, to put it differently, are you afraid of what they secretly think of you or things you say?

Mine seems to be pretty good about that. I don't think she judges me or looks down on me. I know we have different thoughts about some things, but that's normal. There's a part of me though that is afraid that when she goes home she rolls her eyes or something. I want her to be honest and open, and to be herself, even if that would be a little uncomfortable for me at times.

atisketatasket · Jan 15, 2016 at 02:12 PM

Their personal opinions of me don't concern me, only that they are fulfilling their professional duties in session.

I actually don't care what professionals I hire think of me. I just want them to do their job.

ilikecats · Jan 15, 2016 at 02:17 PM

I think my T is genuine for the most part, but there are probably some things she thinks that she doesn't say. But those are just things that would hurt me to know the truth about anyways, so I think I'm okay with it. But I do think she is pretty genuine.

JaneTennison1 · Jan 15, 2016 at 02:24 PM

I think ex T was very genuine. She was so unable to keep her own feelings out of things that it ended therapy and to that end I think she was always who she is (just who she is was not always nice)

Jan 15, 2016 at 02:32 PM

He's very genuine. Says what he means and means what he says.

NowhereUSA · Jan 15, 2016 at 02:35 PM

I find my T to be genuine. He doesn't say something he doesn't mean.

Jan 15, 2016 at 02:56 PM

I think it is impossible to know if another human being is really genuine. I also think they get paid and are trained to keep most of their negative thoughts about us to themselves. I could not care less at this point what a therapist or anyone for that matter really thinks about me.

stopdog · Jan 15, 2016 at 03:02 PM

I doubt they are being genuine but I don't see what difference it makes. They play a role and as long as they can act for 50 minutes a week - I don't worry about it.
I have no idea how anyone would be able to tell as long as the other was good enough at acting.

unlockingsanity · Jan 15, 2016 at 03:03 PM

After being with a T for years, I think they'd have to slip up at some point and I've never seen that in my therapist. He is very kind and genuine

rainbow8 · Jan 15, 2016 at 03:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

I doubt they are being genuine but I don't see what difference it makes. They play a role and as long as they can act for 50 minutes a week - I don't worry about it.
I have no idea how anyone would be able to tell as long as the other was good enough at acting.

Usually I find your posts amusing and unique, but this one bothers me. My T does not play a role with me and she is genuine. It's demeaning for me to read that you think Ts are only acting. She wouldn't bluntly say "you're fat" but I wouldn't say that to my friends either. I think it's very important for a T to be genuine. I respect my T for
being genuine about her life too. When I first asked about her marriage status she started to say "we're fine" but then she told me the truth because she said she wouldn't be genuine if she lied to me. She's not an actress; she's a therapist and a human being.

roimata · Jan 15, 2016 at 03:21 PM

I believe she holds opinions of me that would hurt my feelings if she was open about them. Whether or not that belief is imputed to the quality of her genuineness or my lack of self-esteem is debatable though

stopdog · 03:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rainbow8

Usually I find your posts amusing and unique, but this one bothers me. My T does not play a role with me and she is genuine. It's demeaning for me to read that you think Ts are only acting. She wouldn't bluntly say "you're fat" but I wouldn't say that to my friends either. I think it's very important for a T to be genuine. I respect my T for
being genuine about her life too. When I first asked about her marriage status she started to say "we're fine" but then she told me the truth because she said she wouldn't be genuine if she lied to me. She's not an actress; she's a therapist and a human being.

I don't know why what I believe about therapists bothers you, but I respect your right to disagree with me. If you believe your therapist is genuine, then have at it - I am not stopping you.

And actresses are also human beings (I don't know what human being has to do with it but you linked it with therapist)

JaneTennison1 · Jan 15, 2016 at 03:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rainbow8

Usually I find your posts amusing and unique, but this one bothers me. My T does not play a role with me and she is genuine. It's demeaning for me to read that you think Ts are only acting. She wouldn't bluntly say "you're fat" but I wouldn't say that to my friends either. I think it's very important for a T to be genuine. I respect my T for
being genuine about her life too. When I first asked about her marriage status she started to say "we're fine" but then she told me the truth because she said she wouldn't be genuine if she lied to me. She's not an actress; she's a therapist and a human being.

I don;t think you can ever know if your T is playing a role or being genuine. I believe my ex T was genuine because she seemed incapable of keeping her personal feelings out of things but then again I also believed her when she said she cared about me and who knows where the truth is on that one.

You know of your T what she wants you to know. Maybe it's genuine and maybe not. Are you offended because you worry she could be faking?

Cinnamon_Stick · Jan 15, 2016 at 03:31 PM

Yes my T is genuine. I can see it more in her actions than words. I love how genuine she is. I also agree that its important for a therapist to be genuine.

Jan 15, 2016 at 03:34 PM

When he was ill a few weeks ago, he seemed to let slip a few judgements, including one where he stopped himself mid-sentence. I'm sure he thinks things about me that he doesn't say, but in the room (when he's not ill) who he is as a person and whatever his personal judgements are don't really affect me. That hour is about me and what I feel.

ChavInAHat · Jan 15, 2016 at 03:37 PM

I think for the most part my T is genuine- she makes comments which just slip out and it is positive stuff, which Tallies up with what she says generally

But as others have said there is no way to know for certain.

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Out There · Jan 15, 2016 at 03:38 PM

I find my T quite genuine. He's very human. I don't think he would be my T if he wasn't.

atisketatasket · Jan 15, 2016 at 03:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rainbow8

Usually I find your posts amusing and unique, but this one bothers me. My T does not play a role with me and she is genuine. It's demeaning for me to read that you think Ts are only acting. She wouldn't bluntly say "you're fat" but I wouldn't say that to my friends either. I think it's very important for a T to be genuine. I respect my T for
being genuine about her life too. When I first asked about her marriage status she started to say "we're fine" but then she told me the truth because she said she wouldn't be genuine if she lied to me. She's not an actress; she's a therapist and a human being.

For most clients, I imagine what is actually important is that their therapist appear genuine. That is not the same as be genuine. The persona I present in front of a lecture hall is not quite the same as my real persona, though they are related. But it seems quite genuine to the students.

I am curious as to why the post you responded to is demeaning - i.e., lessens your dignity - to you or any other client. Whether or not your therapist is genuine or just appears so, why is it demeaning to have someone point out the possibility that they are not genuine? It might be demeaning to the therapists, but why would it be demeaning to the client?

Pennster · Jan 15, 2016 at 03:47 PM

My therapist seems to really like people, so his optimistic positivity seems really in keeping with his true nature. I'm glad about that, although i don't generally worry very much whether people are being genuine- I think everyone has a right to keep the inner workings of their minds private, and as long as they act appropriately or kindly or whatever, I'm willing to take it at face value.

ChavInAHat · Jan 15, 2016 at 03:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

For most clients, I imagine what is actually important is that their therapist appear genuine. That is not the same as be genuine. The persona I present in front of a lecture hall is not quite the same as my real persona, though they are related. But it seems quite genuine to the students.

I am curious as to why the post you responded to is demeaning - i.e., lessens your dignity - to you or any other client. Whether or not your therapist is genuine or just appears so, why is it demeaning to have someone point out the possibility that they are not genuine? It might be demeaning to the therapists, but why would it be demeaning to the client?

I totally agree with Persona being different in different places.

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atisketatasket Child of a lesser god Member Since Jun 2015 Location: Tartarus Posts: 19,281 (SuperPoster!) 9 12.4k hugs given	Jan 15, 2016 at 02:12 PM #2 Their personal opinions of me don't concern me, only that they are fulfilling their professional duties in session. I actually don't care what professionals I hire think of me. I just want them to do their job.
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ilikecats Veteran Member Member Since Nov 2015 Location: United States Posts: 669 8 194 hugs given	Jan 15, 2016 at 02:17 PM #3 I think my T is genuine for the most part, but there are probably some things she thinks that she doesn't say. But those are just things that would hurt me to know the truth about anyways, so I think I'm okay with it. But I do think she is pretty genuine. __________________ "The illusion of effortlessness requires a great effort indeed."
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JaneTennison1 Magnate Member Since Aug 2014 Location: US Posts: 2,202 10 121 hugs given	Jan 15, 2016 at 02:24 PM #4 I think ex T was very genuine. She was so unable to keep her own feelings out of things that it ended therapy and to that end I think she was always who she is (just who she is was not always nice)
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Anonymous50005 Guest Posts: n/a	Jan 15, 2016 at 02:32 PM #5 He's very genuine. Says what he means and means what he says.
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NowhereUSA Magnate Member Since Jun 2014 Location: Somewhere Posts: 2,490 10	Jan 15, 2016 at 02:35 PM #6 I find my T to be genuine. He doesn't say something he doesn't mean. __________________ “It's a funny thing... but people mostly have it backward. They think they live by what they want. But really, what guides them is what they're afraid of.” ― Khaled Hosseini, And the Mountains Echoed
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Anonymous37890 Guest Posts: n/a	Jan 15, 2016 at 02:56 PM #7 I think it is impossible to know if another human being is really genuine. I also think they get paid and are trained to keep most of their negative thoughts about us to themselves. I could not care less at this point what a therapist or anyone for that matter really thinks about me.
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unlockingsanity Grand Member Member Since Apr 2013 Location: Antarctic Posts: 772 11 161 hugs given	Jan 15, 2016 at 03:03 PM #9 After being with a T for years, I think they'd have to slip up at some point and I've never seen that in my therapist. He is very kind and genuine
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roimata Member Member Since Aug 2012 Location: hopelessly lost in translation Posts: 191 12 1 hugs given	Jan 15, 2016 at 03:21 PM #11 I believe she holds opinions of me that would hurt my feelings if she was open about them. Whether or not that belief is imputed to the quality of her genuineness or my lack of self-esteem is debatable though
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Cinnamon_Stick Grand Poohbah Member Since May 2015 Location: USA Posts: 1,677 9 4,146 hugs given	Jan 15, 2016 at 03:31 PM #14 Yes my T is genuine. I can see it more in her actions than words. I love how genuine she is. I also agree that its important for a therapist to be genuine.
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Anonymous37925 Guest Posts: n/a	Jan 15, 2016 at 03:34 PM #15 When he was ill a few weeks ago, he seemed to let slip a few judgements, including one where he stopped himself mid-sentence. I'm sure he thinks things about me that he doesn't say, but in the room (when he's not ill) who he is as a person and whatever his personal judgements are don't really affect me. That hour is about me and what I feel.
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ChavInAHat Member Member Since Nov 2015 Location: UK Posts: 239 8 2 hugs given	Jan 15, 2016 at 03:37 PM #16 I think for the most part my T is genuine- she makes comments which just slip out and it is positive stuff, which Tallies up with what she says generally But as others have said there is no way to know for certain. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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Out There Legendary Member Since Oct 2015 Location: England Posts: 11,355 (SuperPoster!) 8 14.6k hugs given	Jan 15, 2016 at 03:38 PM #17 I find my T quite genuine. He's very human. I don't think he would be my T if he wasn't. __________________ "Trauma happens - so does healing "
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