Therapeutic relationship

Do you believe that a client/therapist relationship is a 50/50 ownership? By this I mean should it always be the client that has to reflect and work towards changing their reactions and behaviors or should it be a joint thing where each party take ownership for the part they played in the conflicts and fractures to the relationship?

I ask this because I feel as though I'm always the one who has apparently misunderstood and jumped to conclusions- I'm not saying I haven't at times and I'm fully aware that I'm the one who decided to enter therapy to work on such issues, but I find there are times where I'm the one who has made the poor choice or im the one who needs to think about things better.

Dont get me wrong, i really like my T and i think for the most part we have an awesome theraputic relationship, its just at times when im expressing my dislike at something T did or said, i feel really invalidated, like I'm the one who's wrong and I'm the one who needs to apologize.
I feel like my emotions surrounding situations relating to the T/client relationship aren't accepted as being valid- they are just seen as delusional. Maybe I'm a little sensitive but I can feel it really bothering me

How would you approach this with your T

Not sure about 50/50 but I do believe at times Ts can say the wrong thing. They are after all human. Only recently have a felt comfortable really challenging something with T. At times it has been because of I have misinterpreted what she said. Other times she realized she was wrong. Either way in order for the relationship to be really therapeutic you b need to be able to ask t.

I do think that part of having a solid, working relationship with a therapist is when both parties are open to examining their part in any ruptures/disagreements. It's critical for me when I'm in therapy that the therapist I'm working with be able to own her part in any misunderstanding. That includes times when I might very well misinterpret what she has said and reacted in a negative way. I need a therapist who gets it that I've misunderstood, who stays calm and cool headed while she works to unravel the misunderstanding. But I also need a therapist who recognizes when she's the one who misunderstood or misinterpreted something I said and owes her part in that--states her ownership clearly, apologizes and works to repair our relationship.

I do know there are therapists who can have great therapeutic skills but who also have a serious lack of personal insight into their own behavior when it comes to accepting responsibility for ruptures. I guess it's a behavior seen not just in therapists. Sometimes people just can't accept that they're wrong in messy interpersonal ruptures. They don't apologize or they apologize like this: "I'm sorry you . .. .BUT you need to . . . . " In other words, they don't really apologize and put things right back on you. Very infuriating and painful because they're never ever wrong. If my therapist was like that during our ruptures, I'd have a hard time handling it and would always come away from a rupture feeling as though I was the one who was wrong and needed to do the repairing in the relationship. Not very healing in my book!

Well. My T has made mistakes, and has apologised. BUT it's my therapy. T has trained and worked on herself. The chances are within my therapy, that the issue is mine. If T wasnt skilled than I'd leave.

I don't know if I would call it a 50/50 relationship. I think it is a collaborative one though. If the client wants to change it is up to the client. The therapist can't makes the client change, but I think the therapist can help if the client is willing. I know that my T apologizes when she makes a mistake or thinks she has made a mistake. That is her taking ownership.